All Your Fault
by saichanlovestoad
Summary: NEW UPDATE! Dib applies for a job that results in unexpected consquences. Yaoi. Rating has changed to mature. Chapter three starts the mature content but alas, it continues. The majority of the story is teen, but several parts are now mature. Ah well.
1. Chapter 1

A/N- I don't own any of these characters.

Dib pulled on his trench coat, standing in front of his sister's full length mirror. His hair was slicked back and straight. His glasses were shiny, having just been washed. His pants were pressed, his shirt ironed, his shoes shined. If he had to say so, he looked rather impressive. He smiled to his reflection, trying to look official and responsible. Today was the big day and he wanted to make sure he looked as professional as possible. He looked the part, he thought, as he smoothed out his blue T-shirt over his wash board flat stomach.

" Well, Gaz, what'd you think?" he asked, turning to his sister. She gave him a wicked glare from under the covers of her purple flame sheets. Dib shuddered, then smiled, " I'll be gone for a little bit. Let Dad know where I am in case I'm not back in time for dinner,"

" _Get out,_"

Waving, Dib left her bedroom just as the lamp crashed into the wall. He headed out of the house as he checked to make sure he had all his note cards in order. All fifty two of them were numbered and together. He let out a sigh and began the walk to his destination.

Dib was finally going to apply for the job of his dreams. He was sixteen, in high school, and completely prepared for the responsibility this particular job would require. He'd gotten his resume ready and called over and over again until he was granted the time to apply for the job. Today was his interview for the highly sought after position since it had been announced that the job was available to the public and not just members of the organization associated with this local branch. Three weeks of prep and he was finally getting his chance to explain why he was the perfect person for the job.

He'd wanted this chance for years. He'd been obsessed with this field of study for so long that the obsession had become love and then a part of his soul. Without it, he would be nothing. He could just crawl in a hole and die, for all he cared if it weren't for this highlighted aspect of his paranormal studies. For years now, he'd had an ongoing affair with his obsession, yet nothing permanent had been done to give him a place in the actual organization. Now was his chance to beat down all those who thought they were worthy of this job.

And surely, he would. Dib had superior intelligence to, it seemed, every other person on the planet. That sort of intelligence was highly valued in the job he wanted so badly. Besides that, he was already personally associated with the subject matter and had connections within the inner workings of the organizations. He had the time for the hours required and he lived close enough that commuting wasn't going to be a problem. He was okay with overtime and his hours were flexible. As for pay, he'd accept whatever was given. He also had a reputation for dedicated work ethic and a willingness to submit.

In other words, Dib was perfect for the job. He knew this, yet he couldn't help be nervous. He had no idea how many other people had applied and what rank he had over them. If someone seemed more appetizing for some reason, his chances were shot. Despite the utter perfection of his resume, he lacked the personal experience that might be sought out in this field. He had some experience in his own experiments and such, but in all truth, nothing had ever worked out and he was laughed at for his attempts. Therefore, someone with more experience might be chosen over him.

" I won't let that happen! I'll get this job if it kills me!" he declared to himself, clutching his note cards to his chest. With that, he hurried down the last block that lead to the place he was going to be interviewed.

He slowed to a stop, looking at the building with fear growing deep in his stomach. His eyes shot nervously down that the cards in his hands. These cards had detailed explanations as to why he was the perfect person for the job. Quotes from people who agreed with him, lengthy points, and good qualities that made him a match for the job he sought. All of it ordered to flow from one point to the next flawlessly. He'd wanted to make the interview longer by including a full fledged resume and list of contacts and such, but he'd been given a time limit of only a minute and twenty three seconds to explain his case.

A minute and twenty three seconds. That was all he had to explain. He'd fit in as much as he could by practicing for days on how fast he could talk and still be understood. He'd cut out a lot just to make sure he made the limit. If he didn't, he knew he wouldn't get the job. This place was very serious when it handed out limits and rules. But he was confident that he could say every word coherently in that little amount of time.

" My resume is impeccable. There's no way a little inexperience is going to cost me this position," he assured himself, marching up to the door. He was early and knew he'd have to wait. Three minutes early was three minutes too early. He'd be let in when he was supposed to have shown up and not a second before. So, he stood just outside the door, reviewing his notes.

The seconds ticked away on his watch. The moment was upon him. This was it, he knew, as he raised his hand to knock. If he didn't get this job, his life in the paranormal was all over. He'd never be able to think about the subject again. All that would be left to him was his father's lab and normal science. This job would make or break him. It all depended on his rather short interview and the way he presented the material he hoped would land him this job. If he failed, the subject would be ruined for him, utterly and completely.

This was really it. Now or never. Sink or swim. Live or die. Knowing this, Dib had still applied and he still knocked on the door at the exact time he knew he was meant to.

The door ripped open and Zim glared out at him before grabbing the front of his shirt and jerking him inside his strange home. Dib was thrown into the couch and the door shut.

" You have one minute and twenty three seconds to tell me why you should have the honor of being my boyfriend, Dib human. Start now," Zim clicked a button on his glove and turned viciously narrowed pinkish red eyes on him.

Dib choked, then began to talk rapidly. Sweat rolled down his brow as he went through the cards in his shaking hands, those eyes making him want to start crying. He went through the motions. They'd been friends for the last few years and they'd had an ongoing affair of romance for years. They might've had different opinions on the future of the Earth, but they could work through the little complication. There was a great deal of frictional passion between the two. They worked well together. They'd both come out to one another. They'd shared their first kiss with each other. They'd been experimenting with the other for quite some time now. The time had come for them to seal the deal and become an official couple.

" Time," Zim snapped just as Dib finished and looked up from his note cards. After that, there was silence. Zim hadn't taken his eyes off him the entire time. Now, his eyes remained focused and angry, his antennae slicked back as though he was truly pissed off. His arms were crossed over his chest, his claws digging into his forearms. One foot tapped a few times, then he walked across the floor until he was standing in front of the human in front of him. Still, he said nothing.

Feeling nervous, Dib glanced around, waiting to be told to leave. No one else was there. They were alone. He looked up at Zim. Nothing was happening. Had he offended the alien? Had he pissed him off? What was going on? He had no idea. He didn't even know if this sort of reaction was a good thing or a bad thing, although he strongly suspected it was a bad thing. He swallowed hard, wishing those eyes would change or something would be said.

" S-so... Zim... do I get to be y-your boyfriend?" he questioned, fixing his glasses. The alien leaned in close until there was merely an inch between their lips. Time froze for just a second but that was all it took for Dib's face to grow incredibly hot and his body to start to shake.

Zim pushed his lips against Dib's, hard and passionate. His tongue slipped effortlessly into the boy's mouth and began to explore. Dib's hands found his beloved's hips and he pulled him into his lap. Zim's hands ran through the black hair, jerking it back and exposing the line of the human's neck. He licked Dib's lips, then switched to the younger boy's neck and bite down hard. Dib let out a cry, his hands gripping at the tight black pants the other was wearing. Zim's tongue ran along the red mark before he bit down again and began to suck on the wound. Gasps came from his partner's mouth as he did.

Dib cried out when he felt teeth in his shoulder. His hands ran up Zim's backside, then back down until he found the swell of his ass. He cupped it and squeezed hard, enjoying the feel of that flesh in his palms. Zim smiled through the biting, pushing Dib's head to the side as he bit down on the human's collar bone. One of those three fingered hands grabbed hold of Dib's hair so he wouldn't move, whereas the other held onto Dib's elbow.

The alien lapped up the blood before engaging in a kiss again. They both tasted the metallic taste of the red liquid as their tongues caressed the other's. Zim's hands locked in place on the back of the younger's neck, relishing the idea of keeping him from moving. Dib's fingers dug into the flesh of his partner's sweet ass, his eyes closing in the moment. He felt one hand release his head and run up his bare back. Taking the hint, he slipped one hand under the uniform of the invader. He ran his fingers tenderly over that smooth skin, loving the feel of it under his skin. He wanted to feel more of it. The thought of that brought heat to various parts of his body and he moaned into the wet kiss, his hand dipping down to free his lover from those black pants.

Zim's hand grabbed his wrist and suddenly Dib was on his feet and standing outside the door. Zim's pinkish red eyes matched the blush on his face as he held the door open. Dib, confused, looked around every which way.

" I have a review with My Tallest in a minute. Go home, Dib," he roughly said, before shutting the door in Dib's face. The human gawked, not understanding what was going on. The door opened again and Zim's head popped out long enough to give him a quick kiss on the cheek, " Call me later, Love Slave,"

The door snapped shut and Dib heard Zim shouting for Gir. Smiling and touching his cheek, Dib began the walk back home, feeling elated that he'd landed the job he'd wanted for years.

He was Zim's boyfriend. And he couldn't wait for his first business call.


	2. Chapter 2

That night, Dib couldn't sleep. He'd tried calling Zim about seventy one times, but every time he did, Gir picked up the phone and started babbling on and on about tacos and Mexico and cupcakes. He'd asked and asked for Zim, but the only thing he heard about his alien was his screaming for Gir to get off the phone because he was waiting for an important phone call. The irony killed Dib, so he kept calling. The last three times, no one had answered as all, so he figured Zim was furious at him for 'not calling' and had gone out, probably to abduct a cow or something. That was around the time his dad's monitor had instructed him to go to bed because he had school in the morning. Now he was laying there, listening to Gaz on the phone in her room across the hall, talking in fits of giggles to her girlfriend, Tak.

" I wanna use the phone..." he moaned, covering his face and moaning. He was going to lose his 'job' if he didn't call Zim before midnight. Something told him the whole time limit thing still applied to him after the interview, so he was going to be dead come school if he didn't get a call through to his boyfriend that night.

Sighing, he climbed out of bed and tip toed across the hall to his sister's room. He creaked the door open. Gaz was curled up on her bed, hugging a pillow with 'Death' stitched in it; a present from her girl. Her shoulder long purple hair was ungelled and hung in her face. She whispered to Tak that she wasn't wearing any underwear at the moment, just for her. Dib gagged and brought attention to himself.

" _DIB!!! GET OUTTA MY ROOM, RIGHT THIS SECOND!!!_" Gaz roared, grabbing a knife from under her pillow and throwing it into the wall right next to his face, " _DADDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!! DIB'S IN MY BEDROOM!!!"_

" Okay, okay, but the phone's mine when you're done!" Dib yelled, running out of her room as random blunt objects began to be chucked. He crashed into his dad's monitor.

" Son! I told you to go to bed an hour ago!" Professor Membrane lectured, ignoring the experiment he was supposed to be stabilizing, " Get to bed, this instant, young man! And close the window! You're going to catch a cold!"

" What? My window's not opened,"

" Oh, my poor insane son," the monitor shook it's head, then there was an alarm going off wherever the professor really was and he had to go. Dib stared, then headed to his room. He walked inside, shut the door, and stared in shock at his wide open window. He knew, without a doubt and no matter what his dad said, he'd closed it when he laid down that night.

" What the hell?" he took a step forward.

A hand grabbed his shirt, coming from the shadows behind his computers. He screamed before he was slammed into the wall and someone with glowing eyes locked him in the deepest kiss he'd ever felt. His knees shook and he started to slide down the wall. Another hand grabbed his shoulder and steadied him, pushing him harder against the wall. Dib tried to breathe, but he didn't want this kiss to end, his hands gripping the hips of his captor. He knew the feeling of those black pants, he knew this type of kissing, he knew the feeling of those three fingered hands that were making their way down his arms.

" Zim!" he gasped out before the two slipped to the floor, Zim in his lap. The alien pinned him to the wall, wrapping his legs around Dib's slender waist. Dib tried to say something about not calling, but then Zim bit down on his neck and his vision went double and everything grew hot very fast.

Blood trickled down Dib's neck as Zim began to lick his way down the line of his boyfriend's chest. A moan escaped the younger boy's mouth as he grabbed hold of the wall and his boyfriend bit down on his chest, right over his pounding heart. He struggled to get Zim to unwrap his legs. He wanted his boyfriend to go lower with those teeth. He wanted him to bite his way down to his erection. He pushed down on the alien's legs, but he couldn't get them off. Zim was ignoring what he wanted entirely.

Dib let out a scream as Zim bit down and started to suck on his other shoulder. Stars formed in the human's eyes and his slightly dazed mind made note that the bend from neck to shoulder on the left was most definitely one of 'his spots'. A gloved hand ran along the length of his arm, making him shudder under it's gentle teasing motion. The other found it's way to his hip and squeezed tightly. Zim's tongue ran along the wound and Dib couldn't help but groaning out loud.

He wanted to make Zim moan, but he found he couldn't let go of the wall. The teasing had made his entire body numb and all he could think about was opening his mouth to pant and gasp for the alien that was kissing his neck so tenderly it was killing him. Zim nibbed at his neck and he let out a scream again, his legs bending and his back arching. In the moonlight, he saw a smile on his boyfriend's face and knew this semi torture was turning Zim on.

" _DIB!!!!"_ the door crashed open and Gaz stormed in. Both turned towards her, " _TAKE YOUR SEX ELSEWHERE!!! I'M TRYING TO HAVE A SEXUAL CONVERSATION WITH MY GIRLFRIEND AND YOUR MOANING IS GETTING IN THE WAY!!!_" she demanded, stomping her foot.

Zim grabbed Dib's shirt and hurled him out the window. He slammed into the voot cruiser's plush seat as Zim hopped in next to him. The glass shut and they zapped away from his home and to the strange home that the alien called home. Zim crashed the cruiser, clicked the glass open, and dragged Dib inside.

" GIR!!! TAKE THE CRUISER INSIDE, NOW!!! AND DON'T BOTHER US!!!" Zim ordered, marching military style over to the brand new pantry elevator. He threw Dib inside and walked in, slamming his fist into the down button.

Dib slowly got to his feet, starting to feel excited underneath all the agony he felt from the throwing. He hadn't been down into the lab in almost a year, which had been when him and Tak had performed 'surgery' on the pak to adjust a few settings to allow the two Irken invaders to grow tall enough for high school; it'd been a success, with both aliens coming in at just under the normal height status.

" Oh, wow! I can't wait to see your lab! Have you changed anything?" Dib asked, looking over at Zim. Those pinkish red eyes were narrowed to slits and Zim wasn't smiling, " Z-Zim... what's wrong?"

" Stupid human boy," Zim cooed out, strolling over and pushing Dib against the wall of the elevator, " I'm not taking you to the lab, Dib. The almighty ZIM is taking you to my bedroom,"

" Y-Your bedroom?"

The doors to the elevator clicked open. Zim grabbed Dib's shirt and threw him out and onto a bed with the Irken symbol splashed dramatically across the sheets. The doors clicked shut and Zim stood over the bed with a wicked smile on his green face. Dib crawled to the fluffy pillows as his boyfriend began to inch his way, cat style, over to his human prey. The said human's heart was pounding, his face hotter then hot. Zim stopped in front of him, licked his lips, and pinned Dib to the bed in one single motion.

" Z-zim... I t-think we're moving a little t-too fast,"

" You applied for this job. You should've known the expectations," he answered, licking the line from Dib's jaw to his shoulder. Dib shuddered, " Just keep your filthy pants on and everything's going to be fine, Dib human,"

Dib cried out as Zim started to bit down hard over the still healing wound from that afternoon. His hands grabbed hold of the sheets for dear life as his alien lover literally ripped his shirt off him and began to bite down his chest and stomach. His back arched, allowing Zim to rip at more flesh. He didn't even care if he was in pain, it hurt so good. His eyes rolled back into his skull as those gloved hands ran down his sides and touched the wounds in almost imitate ways. He felt Zim's waist between his legs. Everything was too hot to touch and he was sweating from the heat. His gasped out as Zim licked a line around his nipple, then cried out when his lover playfully nibbed at the skin there.

He put a hand on Zim's head, feeling one of the antennae twitch. He pushed Zim lower. He couldn't speak, he was gasping far too hard, but he wanted his lover to know he was okay with him going lower. The older boy ignored the gesture, smacking the hand away, and continuing to bite down on the human's chest. Dib cried out as Zim sunk his teeth into the tender flesh of his stomach. His body convulsed and he heard a snicker from the alien. He was turning him on and he wasn't even touching him.

Zim's tongue licked alone the edge of Dib's pants and Dib's nails tore into the sheets. The teasing was all too much. He couldn't handle it. He grabbed hold of Zim's antennae and demanded in a shaky voice that he stop and just take him. Take him right now, or else he was going to explode.

" Don't touch me, human waste," Zim ordered, pinning Dib completely to the bed and leaning over him with narrowed eyes. The younger shook and Zim licked his nose, " I control you, not the other way around,"

Suddenly, Dib was flipped onto his stomach and Zim caressed his shoulders, fingers digging into the wounds. Dib let out a moan, shaking under the touch. Zim pulled off one of his gloves and gently touched his boyfriend's back. The cold touch brought a smile to both their lips before Zim lowered himself down on top his lover and nibbed at the back of his neck. He loved the taste of his new toy so much, he couldn't help but bite down harder to hear those lovely screams. That sound make the older boy shake with joy as he ran his bare hand across the unmarked flesh of Dib's back.

Zim's tongue ran down Dib's spine and Dib closed his eyes, tears of pleasure running down his face. He'd always known sex with his alien was going to be good and playful and he would be dominated by the invader. He just hadn't thought Zim, the most socially retarded person in the universe, would have such a fetish for foreplay. Or that he'd be so good at making Dib cry out and moan and quiver at the feel of that foreign tongue.

Teeth dug into a sensitive part of his lower back and he let out a cry, grabbing hold of the sheets for support. A three fingered hands squeezed his side, right over one of the bite marks, and pain erupted in Dib's body, his vision blurring. Zim straddled him officially, running hands over Dib's slick and sticky back, before removing his other glove. He lowered his hands and gave his boyfriend's shoulders a squeeze, causing him to relax. A cruel smile crossed the alien's face.

Zim dragged his clawed hands down Dib's bare back. The human screamed out, his body shaking violently, his legs kicking and hands smacking the bed. It hurt so good. It hurt so good. Dib screamed and smiled and screamed and smiled. Zim watched gleefully as blood began to run all along the cuts as he lowered his hands again. He dug the claws into the bitten shoulders and caused Dib to spasm for a second. The six cuts shimmered in the light.

Dib's eyes rolled back in his head as he felt Zim's tongue lapping up the warm blood streaming down his back. The heat in his pants was building to an uncomfortable level as the cool, wet tongue played in the open wounds. He wanted Zim to hurt him in the ultimate way. The absolute ultimate way.

Still in a daze, Dib began to unfasten his pants for Zim. He would help him the only way he was going to be allowed to. He tried to pull his jeans down with Zim sitting on him, but he couldn't really do it. However, the alien figured out what he was doing and grabbed at his hands. Dib was flipped back onto his back, which roared with pain and made Dib cry out, unsure whether it was pleasurable or painful this time. Zim sat on top the younger boy's stomach.

" Didn't I tell you to keep your pants on, Love Slave?" he demanded, pushing a finger into Dib's forehead. Dib slowly nodded his head, breathing deeply, " Then, keep your pants on, Slave, and let me-"

" I wanna be on top, Z-Zim," Dib gasped out, touching the alien's hip forcefully. Zim let out a laugh, before pushing their foreheads together and looking down at him with cold eyes, " O-or maybe n-not,"

" I'm on top, _Dib_,"

" G-got it,"

" So shut up and let me play with you, human,"

* * *

The next morning, Dib trooped into his home and past Gaz, who was still on the phone with Tak. She gave him a once over, snorted at his appearance, then began to discuss the bra she was wearing and when Tak would have a chance to take it off. Dib gagged, then limped into his bedroom. He pulled off his jeans and slipped into some pajamas, wincing as they stung his cuts and hickies and bite marks and wounds. Slowly, he crawled into his bed and curled up, smiling.

" Son! Are you ready for school yet!" came his dad's voice from outside his door. Dib moaned, covering his face with his pillow as the door opened and Professor Membrane walked inside, " Son! Did you get into a fight! You look like you lost a battle with a cat!"

" More like a horny alien,"

" Son, there are no such things as aliens. And if there were, I doubt they'd be horny," he informed him, " What you need is a nice girlfriend like your sister has! Now get up! You have school!"

" I'm not going to school today, Dad. I lost a fight with a cat and I'm staying in bed,"

" _DIB!!! YOUR BOYFRIEND'S ON THE PHONE AND HE WANTS TO TALK TO YOU!!! MAKE IT QUICK!! TAK'S ON THE OTHER LINE!!!" _Gaz's voice echoed through the house. Professor Membrane gave Dib a questioning look as his son grabbed the phone and clicked it on.

" Hi, Zim,"

" Isn't that the green boy with the skin condition?"

" Yes Dad," he turned away from his father and asked why Zim was calling him so early in the morning. His body went stiff, his face turning red, " DAD, I'M GOING TO SCHOOL!!"

Dib tore off his pajamas, jerked on some real clothes, snatched up his trench coat, and bolted from the room. Professor Membrane shook his head, Gaz glared, but neither got in a word, because he ran straight out of the house and down the block. He didn't slow down until the High Skool came into focus. Then he came to a stop, scanning the horizon for him. He spotted his boyfriend leaning against one of the trees and he made a beeline for him.

" Hi Zim!" he exclaimed, coming to a stop in front of him. Zim reached out, gripped his shirt and spun him around, then slammed him into the tree, " You're looking well,"

" QUIET!" Zim shouted in his usual voice, jabbing him in the chest. Dib shut up quite quickly as his boyfriend turned his false human eyes on him. For a moment, Zim just stood there, playing with his slightly longer wig, " Here!" he shoved his books into Dib's stomach.

" Huh?"

" YOU may have the honor of walking the almighty ZIM to class, Dib human," he instructed, pointing up at the building as the bell rang. Dib smiled, taking Zim's hand, " What the hey? Who gave you permission to touch th-"

Dib lightly kissed Zim on the lips, causing the alien to flush a bright red that reminded the human of his boyfriend's real eyes. Having stunned the alien into submission, Dib escorted Zim up the steps and into their classroom, where Ms. Bitters was glaring at the class that was disappointed to have her once more, as they had since elementary school; she'd moved up a grade when they did for some bizarre reason. The whole class grew hushed as Dib took Zim to his seat and helped him into it. He placed down his boyfriend's books, kissed him gently on the lips, then sat next to him. Zim smiled a big smile at him.

" I always knew they were gay," Zita muttered, rolling her eyes. The rest laughed and started to whisper fake rumors about seeing them together.

" Class," Ms. Bitters said, raising to her feet. Everyone grew quiet, " We will be discussing the French Revolution today, so get out your text books and turn to page 432. _Zim, Dib_, if you feel the need to kiss, please take it outside. I'm not witnessing that _disgusting_ display of _affection_. Now class-"

" Ms. Bitters, may Dib and I please be excused?" Zim asked, his hand shooting up. Everyone turned to stare at him.

" Do you need a pass?"

" No. The hallway will be fine," Zim said, grabbing Dib's wrist and jerking him out of the classroom. The door shut and he slammed him against it.

Dib ran his hands over this boyfriend's hips and kissed him passionately. Zim's tongue slipped into his mouth and he ran his hands through the black hair, twisting it around his fingers. Dib pulled their bodies together and Zim wrapped his legs around his lover's slender waist. Dib's hands slide down to that sweet ass and supported him as best he could, gasping into the kiss as Zim bit down on his lip and pulled gently.

Dib slide down to the ground, holding onto Zim for dear life as they swapped spit and breathed into each other. They weren't doing anything sexual, but it all felt so imitate. It felt like they were becoming one in the same, simply by touching one another and kissing so deeply. They breathed in deep, coming up for air, and held each other. Dib kissed Zim gently, squeezing him to his chest. Zim's arms locked around his head, his eyes staring at him as they began to plant brief kisses all over the other's face.

" I love you, Zim,"

" I love you too, Dib,"

They embraced in a deep kiss, both closing their eyes so they couldn't see anything. Everything disappeared and became the kiss. They were detached from the rest of the world, lost in a void that had no barriers of gender, race, time, or space. They were just two people in love, kissing in the most passionate, loving way that they knew how.

The door opened and smacked into the two of the them. They both groaned as Tak stuck her head out.

" Ms. Bitters said to get back in here," she snapped, before grabbing Dib's shirt and jerking them back into the room. They stumbled in, as Zim still had his legs and arms around his boyfriend. Ms. Bitters turned vicious eyes on them and they quickly separated.

" We'll... continue this at lunch," Zim whispered to Dib, dusting himself off and marching back over to his desk. Dib followed him and sat down, fixing his clothes as he did. They glanced at each other and smiled, reaching out and taking the other's hand.

" NO AFFECTION IN THE CLASSROOM!!!" Ms. Bitters' growled out, twisting around to face them. They let go and sat stiffly in their chairs, staring straight ahead, " Now then, class..."

Dib smiled to himself as class began. If the past twenty four hours was any indication of what his new job was going to be like, he was elated that he'd scored the position he'd wanted. This was going to be the best job of his life, he thought, smiling over at his alien boyfriend. Zim smiled back.

* * *

No, this isn't the end, so don't worry. There's a whole lot more to come.

Ps- I have no idea is Ms. Bitters is supposed to be 'Mrs. Bitters' or 'Ms. Bitters' and I'm too damn lazy to go turn on one of my DVDs to find out. So, if I got it right, cheers. If I didn't, then I guess she got divorced. And yeah, I know, it's sad that I didn't make up a new teacher, but come on. Ms. Bitters is the bomb. Besides... she's the only person who could take all the weirdness that's going to happen in the upcoming chapters without caring one way or another.

That's all. Love Sai-Chan


	3. Chapter 3

A/N- This chapter and the rest of the story from here on out is for my sister Kira Kei Jinx. I hope you like it.

This chapter has upped the rating from Teen to Mature, in case someone didn't notice. You have been warned. Love Sai-Chan.

* * *

The door to Dib's room swung open and into the wall. Spider legs walked quickly to the bed, supporting Dib and Zim as they engaged in a wet kiss, the alien's legs wrapped about the human's waist and holding him up as the spider legs carried them to the bed. Once there, they dropped onto the mattress so that Zim was on top, as he liked to be. Dib gasped out at the pressure of them hitting the bed, then just closed his eyes and enjoyed the feel of his boyfriend's body against his.

The two were alone in the house, as had been planned. Professor Membrane was out of town on a business trip and Gaz was spending the weekend at Tak's house. Gir was on the loose somewhere in Mexico looking for cupcakes and Mimi was keeping watch over her master and Gaz across town. They were completely alone and they'd planned it that way for the last three days. Today was their one month and they were going to spend it together if it killed them. They'd cleared the calender for this day and arranged for everyone they knew to be gone from Dib's house; Dib's because Gir could come home at any given moment and he'd go to Zim's first. It had worked. They were alone.

Dib especially wanted them to be alone. For the past month, he'd been Zim's Love Slave, coming at his call and doing whatever it was the alien had wanted. They'd been hot and heavy ever since their first moments as a couple, yet they hadn't gone all the way. That was somewhat bothering the human teenager, if only because he _was_ a human teenager. He didn't know anything about Irken sex drives, but this whole stopping just short of getting their pants off was killing him. Tonight, he was going to get into his boyfriend's pants.

One way or another. Even if it was the death of him.

Dib broke the kiss to lick Zim's lips. The alien was a little taken back that the human was starting to get more forceful, but he hid it by pinning Dib to the bed and nibbing his throat, a bit rougher then usual. A moan escaped and the older boy unwrapped his legs. Zim inched down on top his lover, easing that blue T-shirt off and over Dib's head. He ran one hand over the fading and fresh scars, pulling the glove off his other hand with his teeth.

Zim lowered his bare hand to Dib's stomach. He traced circles in the skin, making the boy quiver, and pulled off the other glove. He stroked Dib's chest and stomach with both hands, running his claws lightly along the skin. Moans ran out as the blood began to flow.

" T-take me, Zim.. Please..." Dib breathed out, grabbing Zim's hips and thrusting them down over his erect cock. Zim placed a finger over Dib's mouth to silence him before he leaned over the blood and began to lick it, " Please! Zim! I'm begging you! Ta-"

" If you don't shut your mouth, Slave, I'll take my Irken ass somewhere else. YOU do not tell ZIM what to do," Zim snapped, smacking him somewhat playfully on the forehead. Dib gave him miserable eyes.

To make him stop with the complaining, Zim took off his own shirt. Dib smiled at the sight of that flawless green skin. His hands ran up his boyfriend's stomach and up his chest. He squeezed Zim's sides and pulled him back on top of him. Their bodies blended together in blood as they started to kiss again. Their tongues caressed one another's, their hands running along their lover's body. They relished the feel and began to kiss harder, Dib slipping his hands over Zim's curved ass and gripping it tight.

Zim bit gently down on Dib's lower lip and pulled slightly. Dib shook with pleasure and the alien began to nib at his neck, one hand moving up to touch the human's cheek. Dib kissed each one of the fingers several times as his lover licked his neck wet and began to suck on various parts. The sucking increased until he felt teeth and had to gasp out, his grip tightening on both Zim's wrist and ass.

When Zim bit down until blood welled up, Dib knew it was now or never. His boyfriend was distracted with the red liquid. Carefully, the younger boy began to undo his pants, trying not to alert Zim to what he was doing. Almost as soon as his pants were unhooked, however, a three fingered hand grabbed his wrist and he was faced with two narrowed, angry pinkish red eyes.

" How many times do I have to-"

" Come on, Zim! A month is long enough! I've been waiting for this night for years!" Dib pleaded, giving his boyfriend his best puppy dog pout. Zim wouldn't relent, " Whatever you're afraid of, I can assure you, I don't have any diseases and I'm not germ riddled, okay?"

" That's not wh-"

" You're a germaphob, Zim. I get it, but can we please, just this once, go all the way?" Dib sat up, forcing Zim onto the bed. The younger boy got on his hands and knees, grasping one of the alien's bare hands in his, " I love you. You love me. There's nothing wrong with wanting a little more. It won't hurt. We're both virgins, so there's no worries about infection. Please?"

" I don't think yo-"

" I understand the commitment, trust me. I'd planned to stay with you for a long time, if not life, anyways. This will only make us closer. Don't you want to have sex with me?"

" Oh, I want sex, just not tonight," Zim said, giving him official, stern eyes, " We have to wait, just a little longer, Slave. Not tonight,"

" Why not tonight? Everything's perfect. We won't have this chance again!" Dib exclaimed, hugging the hand he was holding to his chest. Zim sighed and looked at him again, " Please?"

" No,"

" Why? This is the only time we'll be able to get rid of everyone. We got so lucky this time that my dad's monitor broke. It won't happen again," Dib reminded him, feeling like he was going to start crying, " You've been making all the moves, Zim... why can't we go all the way?"

" Because I said so,"

" That's not an answer! You want sex, you said so yourself!" Dib yelled, pushing Zim onto the bed. Those eyes stared up at him, indifferent, " Tell me you don't want this and I'll stop. Tell me you don't want me and I'll stop. But if you just want to control the situation, that's not a reason. And we're having sex,"

" St-"

Dib kissed Zim, hard, on the lips, his hands undoing the alien's tight black pants. Zim gasped out, trying to talk, as Dib struggled to get those pants off. Before he could, however, Zim screamed out his name and he looked up in shock at the sound.

A green fist slammed into his face, knocking him backwards.

" WHEN I GIVE AN ORDER, I EXPECT YOU TO OBEY ME, GOT IT!!!" Zim roared, standing over his boyfriend's crumpled form, " _I_ will control this lovemaking ritual when _I_ am ready to do so! Until then you will ha-"

" You punched me! What kind of boyfriend punches his spouse!!!"

" What?"

Dib tackled Zim to the ground and pinned him on his stomach. Zim started to swear in Irken, trying to get out from under him. The human laid him out flat, kissing the unmarked, bare skin of his lover as gently as he could. Zim grew quiet, his eyes widening. Dib had meant to start attacking Zim, like they used to when they were kids, but as soon as he'd had the alien on the floor, he was overwhelmed with love and passion. So, instead, he began to kiss Zim's back and squeeze his hands under his own. He saw those eyes close and heard his lover let out a moan. Whether or not he wanted to admit it, Dib knew Zim wanted this as much as he did. And he was going to give it to him.

" I... wanna be... on... top... Slave," Zim choked out as he felt Dib removing his pants. Dib ignored him and licked his fingers several times until they were slick. He inserted them into his lover's entrance and heard a moan escape the older boy's mouth, " N-nooottt f-fa-fair..."

" You can be on top next time,"

With that, words disappeared. Dib wriggled out of his jeans, already hard, and pushed himself into Zim's ass. Both gave a cry, their bodies shaking uncontrollably. Zim's claws ran along the floor, tearing it up, as he began to scream and Dib started to thrust in and out. Their bodies became one and they instantly knew what they were doing. They found the motion quickly and began to help the other move so they could come together faster, harder.

Zim cried out his eyes squeezed shut and his back arched as he felt Dib shove himself in as far as he could go. He felt like he was going to explode in more ways then one and he screamed because of it. He felt his claws digging into the floor and he knew it hurt, but he could only feel his ass and how wonderful it was to have his lover inside him after all this time of teasing him. He moved his hips up to meet Dib's and something inside him opened and made his shriek and pound the floor.

Dib felt like something had changed inside his lover, but he ignored that fleeting feeling of fear as he pumped vigorously. He was about to peak and he wanted to make sure Zim was going to as well. He gripped those hips as tight as he could, blood beginning to trickle it's way over his fingers. Then he let out a howl, stars filled his eyes, as a wail filled up his ears. He came inside of Zim and both of them rode the orgasm to the floor. There, Dib gently pulled out and reached for his lover. Zim hugged him tight and Dib squeezed back.

" T-thanks... Zim... that was amazing..." Dib whispered, petting his lover's head. Zim nodded in agreement, curling his body around Dib's, " I love you,"

" I love you too..."

" Tired?"

" Yeah..." they were quiet for a moment, then Zim pushed him down onto the ground and got to his feet. Dib, rubbing his head, watched, " YOU may have the honor of sleeping with ZIM! But know that you owe me one, Slave. Now, get to your feet and make the bed worthy of my presence, human!"

" Whatever you say," Dib climbed off the floor and went to make the bed. He straightened out the sheets, then presented it to his boyfriend. Zim marched over and slipped in between the sheets, " Happy one month,"

" Yes, the same to you. NOW, go to sleep," Zim rolled over and pulled the sheets over his head as Dib hugged him from behind. Whereas Dib drifted to sleep quickly, Zim couldn't sleep at all. His head was buzzing with worry, " I need to get home as soon as possible... this may have just ruined all my careful planning... that package better be there tomorrow... or else, we're ruined..."

* * *

Despite his usual natural, Zim left a note for Dib when he ditched in the morning. It briefly explained that he had to get home for Invader reasons and that he loved him. Then he'd hightailed it back to his house, nervously looking down at his body the whole way there. When he got there and put up the voot cruiser, he hurried downstairs, past where Gir was eating what appeared to be a taco cupcake, and outside. The mail had come, but his package wasn't with it. Growling, he stormed back inside and went down to his lab. 

" This isn't good... I need those pills... that stupid boy... oh, I'll kill him," he said, pacing around his lab. He would have to wait to take what he'd ordered, he knew this.

So, wait he did. Zim sat in front of his computer and rapidly typed away, trying to see if there were any other remedies besides the pills he'd ordered. From what his computer could tell, there really wasn't except for the pre-pills he hadn't thought he'd needed and hadn't ordered. Other then that, there were the ones on the way and that was it. After finding all that useless garbage out, he began to research what would happen if the pills didn't work or arrived too late. He didn't like what he saw and ended up just leaving his research for another day, convincing himself that the pills would be there on time and they would work.

Instead, he just went about trying to experiment on the Happy Drill and it's human test subject. He couldn't focus and ended up nearly ruining the experiment he'd been working on for years. Leaving it as well, he just went upstairs and started to watch TV with Gir.

When night had fallen and he felt like his brain had turned to mush, he went down to his bedroom and curled up on his bed. Dib called to see if he was okay, since he hadn't answered the phone all day, and he lied and said he'd been working in his lab all day and hadn't heard the phone. They chit chatted about random things, then Dib's favorite show came on, and they hung up. All was quiet for the rest of the evening and Zim just laid there, hugging his stomach and hoping that nothing would come of this.

* * *

By morning, Zim was sitting on the front porch, wearing his disguise, and waiting for the package. He was sick with worry and couldn't stop shaking. However, when the mail was delivered, a package was left at the mailbox. He stared at it for a moment, then bolted over, ripped it open, and hurried inside as he popped the top off one of the bottles. 

" What's dat master?" Gir asked, suddenly standing in front of him. He ignored him as he downed two of the pills. Gir took the bottle from him, " 'Anti-conception pills designed for the Irken Invader in Mind. Stop the fear of Irken love. Safe for both sexes.' WHAT'S THIS, MASTER?"

" Never you mind, _Gir_," Zim barked out, hands on his hips, " Get down to the lab. We need to start working on our latest death plan immediately," he walked past his dancing robot and down to his lab as though nothing was the matter. As good as he felt having taken the pills, though, he had a feeling something was wrong, that he'd been too late.

Biting his lower lip, Zim touched his lower stomach. How he hoped nothing was happening to him. How he hoped.


	4. Chapter 4

Zim paced around his lab, squeezing his eyes shut and waiting for the timer. Gir's TV could be heard upstairs, but it was just background noise to the alien's frantic thoughts.

" This can't be happening. Not to me, not to ZIM!!!" he declared, punching the wall as hard as he could. He ripped his hand out of the crack. Everything that'd been happening for the past four months ran through his head again and he waited for the timer and desperately searched for a different explanation on his computer.

Everything had been just fine. Then, about two months beforehand, he'd started feeling sick all the time. He couldn't explain it, as he was never sick. Yet, he was sick almost every morning and sometimes in the afternoon as well. Then he'd started to feel pangs of pain in his back for no apparent reason as all. Around this time, he'd begun to feel tired all the time and longed to take long, very long, naps at every waking moment of the day. He'd been feeling weird for a while, so he just figured he'd caught some illness from all the making out and sex with his boyfriend.

However, he couldn't explain the last 'symptom' of his mysterious illness. Zim had begun to gain weight. As he kept his diet relatively healthy for an invader, he had no idea what was going on. Sure, he'd been snacking at night recently, but not that much. Yet, his stomach was starting to get bigger.

Unable to deny it any longer, knowing what he'd known for months to be true, he'd caved and ordered the test. He'd been absolutely miserable waiting for the test to arrive and when it finally had, he'd put off using it for a little while. In fact, he didn't use it until that day because he'd had to skip school because his clothes didn't fit anymore. He'd spent the day going out and getting clothes at the stores Dib shopped at. When he got home, he'd taken the test and now he was pacing around, waiting for the timer to go off.

" I'm gonna kill that stupid Earth beast if it's positive," he growled to himself, rubbing the side of his slightly curving stomach, " I will rip his head off with my bare hands if it-"

DING!

Swallowing hard, Zim marched over to stick. Time ticked away, but he found that he couldn't touch it. He didn't want to know the truth. He just wanted to keep lying to himself. That was all he wanted to do. However, he knew what it said. Therefore, he knew he couldn't keep lying to himself for very long anyways. It was best to just come clean and certain and turn the test over to find out for real.

Taking a deep breath, he picked up the stick and flipped it over. A bright blue strip stared up at him. Blue. Blue meant positive. He double, triple, checked the box and reread the instructions a thousand times. Blue meant positive. No matter how many times he read it, the words didn't change.

" No... no... NOOOO!!" he cried out, throwing the test to the floor and reading the box again. Blue meant positive. Irken approved. One hundred percent accurate. New technology. Blue meant positive. No chance of failure, " THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING TO ME!!!!" he wailed, sinking to the floor and drawing up his legs. He started to cry, his hands touching the sides of his stomach as he stared at the box and the test.

Blue meant positive.

* * *

Dib was waiting by Zim's locker that morning, holding a rose and a box of chocolates. He wasn't sure if Zim was going to get him anything this month, but he'd felt bad that the only thing they ever gave each other was sex and massages and scientific equipment on special days like today. Today was their five month anniversary and he'd decided to go out and get his boyfriend something special.

" I hope he's here," he muttered, checking the time. Zim was late, but he usually was. However, he hadn't been in school the day before and he hadn't answered his phone. The one time Gir had, he'd told Dib that Zim wasn't feeling good again.

That worried Dib to no end. For the past few months, his alien lover had been sick and tired and miserable and irritable all the time. It wasn't normal. Something was wrong, but Zim refused to tell him what it was, or at least what he thought it might be. Since Dib didn't know anything about Irken bodies or health, he couldn't even look up possible diseases or cures. So, instead, he'd taken to just being a doting boyfriend, showering his alien with love and attention whenever he saw him. That seemed to have helped, a little.

" Hope he's not sick. That would suck," Dib said, looking down at the chocolate and wondering if he shouldn't have gotten a bottle of stomach medicine instead. When he looked back up, he saw Zim storming through the crowded hallways, his eyes narrowed farther then ever before, " Well... he's not in a good mood today... maybe he will be... what the hell is he wearing?"

Zim was dressed in a loose red T-shirt with the Irken symbol splashed over his chest. His usual black pants had been replaced with looser, less form fitting ones, though they were still black. It was the very first time Dib, or anyone else for that matter, had seen him in human clothes. Needless to say, a lot of people were giving him strange looks, whispering about his sudden make over. Gaz and Tak looked at Dib, as though he'd had something to do with this, but he could only shrug.

The alien knocked the teenagers out of his way with more force then they'd ever seen. Dib swallowed, backing up as his enraged boyfriend made his way over to him. Zim pulled back his fist and Dib screamed, but he didn't have time to block.

That gloved hand slammed into his face as hard as it could, knocking him into the lockers behind him. Dib's glasses slid to the edge of his nose as he coughed and felt blood dripping down his face. Zim pulled back again but this time, he blocked and he felt pain shoot up his arm.

" YOU FILTHY SON OF A BITCH HUMAN BASTARD!!! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT AND I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU, YOU-YOU-YOU ASSHOLE!!!!" Zim roared, punching him in the stomach when he opened his mouth. Dib fell to his knees, gasping, " I WILL KILL YOU IF IT'S THE LAST THING I EVER DO!!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME, YOU ASS!!!"

" W-what'd I do?"

Zim didn't answer. He just hugged his stomach, turned, and marched away, ignoring everyone who stared after him. Dib wiped the blood away, feeling like his face had been crushed. Gaz and Tak came to his side, trying to find out what was going on. Dib had no answer for them. He had no idea. Last time he'd checked, everything was fine between him and his boyfriend. As he got to his feet and hugged the presents to his chest, he tried to rationalize all of it in his head, looking at the girls for help. None of them could come up with a reason for Zim's insane, even for him, behavior.

" Then... I'll just have to go see him... later today," Dib concluded, mostly talking to himself. The girls didn't try to talk him out of it, though they figured they'd be burying him pretty soon.

* * *

Dib headed over to Zim's house as soon as school let out. He brought the presents, just incase his lover was in a better mood, and strolled up to the doorway. Thankfully, the gnomes didn't shoot lasers as him, as he'd suspected they would. Taking that as a good sign, he knocked on the door and braced himself for the impact of another Irken punch.

The door opened, his shirt was grabbed, and he was thrown into the couch. He stared in shock as the door clicked shut and Zim faced him with livid eyes. He realized pretty fast that this whole thing had been a bad idea, a trap even, and he was most likely about to be murdered.

" Uh... hiya, Zim... I brought... presents for you..." he muttered, placed the rose and candy on the end table. Zim twitched, before marching over and standing military stiff in front of him, " Um... is there... something on your mind?"

" I have something to tell you, human stink beast,"

" Well... I haven't heard _that_ one in a while," Dib said, wincing a little, " Do you have to call me that? It's not really a romantic term and I thought we were past that stage in our relationship. Couldn't you use my real name? Or at least human or Dib human or something lik-" Zim handed him a stick, " What the hell is this t-"

" Dib, I'm pregnant,"

" Thing..." Dib stopped short, staring first at the blue strip on the stick and then up at his unreadable boyfriend. He did a double take, then forced a smile, feeling a his stomach turning to lead, " Haha, Zim. It's not April's fools yet and this isn't funny,"

" April Fools? I know not what you speak of. This isn't a joke, Dib," Zim snapped, hands on his hips. Dib blinked, then slowly looked around that the living room, then at his lover, who stood there in human clothes, his alien eyes narrowed and antennae slicked all the way back, " Why are you staring at me like that? You human's are such a stupid useless bunch, aren't you? Don't you understand what I'm telling you? I'm PREGNANT!"

Dib stood up, taking Zim's hands in his. He began to frantically talk to the confused alien, telling him to stop it and tell him what was really going on. Zim shoved him away, declaring this not a joke and that's when Dib started to yell why this had to be a joke, a bad one, but a joke nevertheless. Zim was a boy, Dib was a boy. There was no way for a boy to get pregnant. Besides, even if he could, which he couldn't, there had been no time when Dib had entered an area that could possibly have a uterus that could conceive a child. Halfway through his explanation on female cycles and how that had something to do with child rearing, however, Zim grabbed his throat and squeezed it tight.

"QUIET, EARTH MONKEY!!" Zim shouted, shoving Dib back onto the couch. The human choked and hacked, hitting his chest so he could breathe again, " YOU know nothing of the superior Irken anatomy. Who's ever heard of a race where only one of the genders can have a child? Honestly,"

" If all Irkens can get pregnant, what's the point of having different genders!" Dib demanded, feeling more insulted then he probably should have.

" We serve as different functions for the lovemaking ritual, of course," he calmly said, giving Dib a smug look. The human's eyes narrowed, " All Irken can conceive a child and they can bare it through a slit that appears later in the pregnancy. From my research, I have discovered that BOTH the human and Irken pregnancy last nine months and have similar symptoms, for whatever reasons that may be,"

" If you knew you could get pregnant, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME!!!" Dib yelled, getting to his feet. Zim gave him blank eyes, then his left one twitched, " Wait... that's... why... you didn't... wanna... oh... I'm sorry..."

" YOU better be sorry. You have disgraced the great ZIM!!!"

" Disgraced? How?"

" I've been knocked up like a common whore," Zim spat out, jabbing a finger into Dib's chest. The human's mouth fell open, " And with a HUMAN child nonetheless. My Tallest are never going to let me live this down... YOU!! COME WITH ME TO THE LAB!!! We must contact My Tallest at once!"

" How dare yo-"

" QUIET!!!" the alien spun around and grabbed Dib's shirt. The human swallowed hard when faced with those cold eyes, " I am an Invader, _Dib_. Invaders don't have children. We invade, conquer, and go to our next mission,"

" Then how do you populate?"

" A computer is given our children the moment they are conceived. Thanks to YOUR IMPATIENCE, I had to wait around to find out if I was or not. This delay in my mission will not be accepted by my Tallest," he said, giving Dib wicked eyes. His boyfriend apologized, touching Zim's shoulders lightly.

" Well... something can still be done, can't it? I mean you can't be that far along..." he said, smiling. The eyes on his lover didn't change, " Um... how far along are you, anyways, Zim? Six weeks? Eight?"

" Four months,"

" WHAT!! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME SOONER!!!" Dib demanded, shaking him roughly a few times before he was shoved off. He stared in shock as Zim muttered he hadn't known for sure until that morning, " You didn't know you where pregnant for four months! You didn't even have an inkling for four months!!"

" I knew instantly, _Dib_. I just thought I'd wait and make sure," was Zim's haughty response as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other. Dib counted back in his mind.

" Then... our first time!?! Why didn't you say anything!"

" It was none of your business, stupid boy,"

" How was it none of my business! It's my child!" Dib barked back, causing Zim to wave him off, " It is mine, right? You know for sure that it's mine?"

The fist came fast this time and it was followed by stars.

* * *

Dib moaned when he came to, sprawled on Zim's living room floor. The lights were all off and no one appeared to be home. He climbed off the floor, rubbing his throbbing face, and headed over to the pantry elevator, figuring his boyfriend was down in the lab if he were anywhere in the house. He heard voices before the door opened and they got louder as he walked. When he rounded the corner to Zim's computer area, he found his boyfriend standing in front of the large screen of his computer, talking rapidly to the two Tallest.

" No, _Zim_, I don't think you could get back here in time. I mean, you're already four months. The baby would've been born by the time you got back to Irk," Red Tallest said, hitting Purple so he would stop laughing.

" But...But... My Tallest... couldn't I come aboard the Massive then?" Zim suggested, sounding and looking desperate.

" We wouldn't be able to offer any support or help," Red explained, as Purple collapsed onto the couch in fits of laughter, " Would you stop it!"

" I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

" What about my mission, My Tallest?" Zim interrupted as though he didn't notice what was going on aboard the Massive. Red looked at Purple, sighing, and then back down at the alien in front of him, " I cannot complete my mission if I'm pregnant, My Tallest. What do you wish me to do?"

" Take some time off, Zim. You deserve it -would you stop it-. You know... for your loyalty -stop it- and everything. So.. Take some maternity leave," Red waved him off as he said it.

" Yes, My Tallest. I shall," Zim saluted the two of them as they started to outright fight and the screen went black. For a moment, Zim just stood there, staring down at the controls of his computer. Then he nodded to no one and started to march in Dib's general direction. Not wanting to get caught spying, Dib pretended to have just gotten up and walked around the corner.

" There you are, Zim... you know, I was joking about that comment I made earlier," he informed him, standing there and praying he wasn't about to get punched, again. Zim blinked in his direction.

" Yes, yes, hilarious. NOW! We have to discuss the plans for the smeet and-" Zim was cut off by Dib suddenly letting out a gasp, " What is it –"

" You're showing! Already! Why didn't you tell me!" Dib exclaimed, rushing over and putting his hands on either side of Zim's curved stomach. The alien went bright red, " I couldn't tell in your human clothes, which by the way, you look weird in. Good, but weird. But I can tell in your uniform. I had no idea you'd be showing already! You look amazing, Zim!!"

" Do not to-"

" Don't worry, Zim, I'm not going to leave you, or anything. I'm here for you, and the baby," Dib assured him, holding his hands tightly. Zim jerked out of his grip and turned around. The younger boy, however, hugged him from behind, resting his hands on the new curve, " You don't have to worry about anything. I'm gonna be here every step of the way. Aren't you happy? We're going to be parents already. This is so exciting,"

" Get of-"

" And if you're worried about your looks, don't be," he continued, squeezing him tightly, " I'll always think you look amazing and I think pregnancy really agrees with you. And you're pretty good at hiding your belly. I couldn't even tell you were showing. And-"

Zim grabbed Dib's arm and flipped him onto the floor with a loud thud and cry from the human. Then he straddled him, his eyes so narrowed Dib could barely tell their color. He swallowed hard, wondering what could be the matter with his boyfriend. Zim leaned down, twitching and growling like an animal. Whatever was wrong, it was clear he blamed Dib.

" THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!" was all he said as he began to punch Dib repeatedly in the face. Dib's vision doubled, cracked, then just went black as his head slammed back into the metal of the floor.

* * *

A/N- Just so you all know, the reason Dib freaks out when he finds out Zim is four months along is that people usually find out they're expecting at two months or around then.

Also, for those of you have forgotten, it took Zim six months to get from Irk to Earth. That's why he can't go back home and give the child to the computer like all the other Irkens do. And the reason the Tallest are either surprised or laughing is because one, Zim doesn't seem like a motherly type of alien, and two, invaders really don't get pregnant because Irkens are supposed to have sex within their own species, not with what they're invading.

From what I can recall, and what I've seen in fanart and fanfics, a smeet is the Irken term for a child.

And and this is out of my own head the reason Zim states that he's been 'knocked up like a common whore' is because Irkens are supposed to get married first and they're supposed to have children within their own race. So, I guess, only slutty Irken not elite Invaders get pregnant before marriage and with another races child. It's an insult to his status and his ego.

That's all. Love Sai-Chan.


	5. Chapter 5

When Dib went home that night, beaten and bleeding, he told Gaz what he'd discovered about the Irken system, just in case she was having sex with Tak. She laughed, before informing him that Tak had told her about all that months ago, when they'd first hooked up. Then she congratulated him on knocking up his boyfriend and went to her room to have phone sex with her girl again. Twitching at the fact that five months into their relationship Zim was still keeping secrets, Dib stormed into his bedroom.

Despite his anger towards his boyfriend and that said boyfriend had beaten him senseless, he began to research pregnancy. He started to download everything when his door swung open and Professor Membrane strolled in, declaring his surprise and elation.

" D-dad! What's going on!"

" I'm so happy for you, son! I was convinced I'd never have grandkids since you and your sister are against relationships with the opposite sex, but now I find out that your boyfriend is having a baby! I'm not sure how that plays into a skin condition, but I'm so happy nonetheless!" he exclaimed, hugging his son tightly. Dib choked, trying to wriggle out of his grip, " Though I am disappointed in you for not using protection,"

" Dad... I can't breathe,"

" Of course not, Son! Now, have fun with your pregnant boyfriend! I have errands in the lab!" with that, Professor Membrane dramatically left the room and shut the door again. Dib stared after him, then turned back and ejected the downloaded disc.

His door slammed into the wall again. He started to say that his dad should knock first when a gloved hand grabbed his shirt and he was ripped out of his chair.

" Z-Zim! What're you doing in my house!" he demanded, smiling weakly at the narrowed eyes of the alien. Zim threw him into the bed, marching military style over to Dib's desk, " Are you mad at me? Still?"

" PACK your things, Dib human! You're moving in with ZIM!" he announced, pointing at the voot cruiser that hoovered outside his window. Dib blinked, " Did you not hear me? PACK!!!"

" What?! No, I can't leave! All my things are here! And I'm still in high school, Zim! I need to be here, with my family and my equipment! I can't just pack up my life because you ordered me to!" he tried to explain, before he saw the unconcerned expression on his boyfriend's face, " This is part of my pay back for getting you pregnant, isn't it?"

" PRECISELY!!!" Zim turned away from him and began to throw Dib's clothes into the cruiser. The human watched for a moment, then he grabbed hold of Zim's arms, " What? What're you touching the almighty ZIM for?!"

" I'm not coming unless you say you need me there," he whispered, smiling at those false human eyes. Zim drew back slightly, looking unsure about what to say.

" I ne-ne... ne-ne... I ne-nee..." Zim's eyes suddenly narrowed, " GET IN THE CRUISER, DIB!!!" he hurled Dib into the cruiser with that statement, before climbing in next to him, " You can come back for the rest of your FILTH later. I need to get home. I'm starving and Gir said he was getting ice cream,"

The cruiser sped off towards Zim's house as Dib started to protest leaving. It was no use, however, as the ship had already taken off. In no time at all, they had docked and his boyfriend had left him in the ship to go fetch his robot and some ice cream. Dib gawked at the sheer insanity of what had just happened to him. All in all, he'd just been abducted from his home and moved across town to his boyfriend's home to live because he'd knocked up his beloved. Somehow, that didn't seem all too illogical, considering that the master of all insanity was his boyfriend. Still, he couldn't help but feel just slightly annoyed as he finally climbed out of the cruiser and went downstairs to the kitchen.

Zim was sitting at the table, eating what appeared to be vanilla ice cream drowned in chocolate sauce and strawberries. Dib gave him a strange look as he sat down in front of him, looking around to see if there was a bowl for him. There was a small bowl set aside on the counter, away from where Gir was rolling around on the floor in the ice cream container. He got the bowl and sat back down.

" How long am I going to be living here?" he asked through mouthfuls of the ice cream. Zim's now alien eyes looked in his direction.

" You're not leaving," was the answer he got. Dib choked and coughed, hitting himself in the chest, " Your presence is needed here, Dib monkey. The smeet is going to need a father once it's born in a couple months. You can't leave,"

" You just kidnaped me and now you're saying I can never go home again!!"

" Of course not," Zim finished off his ice cream and licked the spoon, " You may go home to retrieve your stuff. And I assume your sister would like to see the smeet once it's born. You _humans_ are like that, I've gathered," he go to his feet and dusted himself off.

" I can't believe this..." Dib smacked his hand to his forehead, leaving his ice cream to follow his lover into the pantry elevator, " What about school, Zim? I can't just drop out! And neither can you!"

" I don't intend to, _Dib_. An Irken Invader such as myself can handle a little school, even when pregnant,"

" Zim... you're supposed to be a boy. A human boy. And human boy's don't just turn up at school four months pregnant!" Dib reminded him when the door opened and they stepped out, into Zim's bedroom, " What're you gonna tell everyone! There's no logical explanation for this on Earth! It's not normal! People are gonna know you're not human!"

" You're people are stupid stink beasts, Dib. They will not suspect a thing,"

" What about when you're eight months pregnant and as big as a house? How about then, Zim? What're you gonna tell them then?!" he demanded, holding his boyfriend at an arm's length. Zim narrowed his eyes.

" Are you trying to tell me, _Dib,_ that you think I'm fat?"

" Wh-what! Of course not!" he instantly released the alien, blushing deeply, " And that's completely off topic! Answer the question!!!"

" SILENCE!!!" Zim shouted, his eye twitching. Dib's mouth snapped shut, " I grow weary of listening to you, Love Slave. I am going to bed. This smeet needs rest," he patted the side of his belly, yawning and stretching. Dib stared as his boyfriend kissed him gently on the cheek, then climbed into bed, and pulled the sheets over his head, " Good night, Dib human,"

" ZIIIIIIM!!! You can't pretend this isn't happening and I know you're not asleep! We need to talk about this!" Dib whined, shaking the bed angrily. Zim curled up tighter, but didn't answer him, " Fine! I'll let you sleep! But only because you are, in fact, pregnant! But I'm sleeping on the couch!"

Dib left the room after saying that, going up in the elevator until he came to the kitchen. He walked past Gir, who was licking melted ice cream off the floor, and into the living room. He knew he should've forced Zim to talk about what they were going to do about the pregnancy, but something told him doing that would've resulted in his getting beaten again. He could live without that, thank you. Still, he was going to be defiant one way or another, so he was sleeping on the couch whether or not he liked it. Therefore, he pulled his trench coat around his body and tried to force sleep upon himself.

It wasn't long, though, before he felt a three fingered hand touch his shoulder and shake him, as if to carefully stir him from his sleep. He looked over his shoulder and spied two glowing eyes looking down at him.

" Is something wrong, Zim?" he asked, rolling over and sitting up. The alien hesitated, one hand over his mouth and the other resting on the curve of his stomach. Dib placed a hand on his boyfriend's hip, telling him physically that whatever it was, it was okay and he could tell him.

" Um... my back hurts... and I can't sleep... and I... was... wondering... if you... wouldn't m-mind... keeping me... company," Zim just barely managed to get out, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. Dib smiled and nodded, " Well, it's not like you had a choice, Slave. That was a c-command from the great Zim... the almighty invader..." his voice trailed off as Dib stood up.

" It's okay, Zim. I'll come," he assured him, taking one of his hands in his own. Zim blinked, then dragged him away from the couch and down to the bedroom without another word.

Once there, the two climbed into bed together for what seemed like the millionth time. However, this was the first time they'd done it without having sex first, so things were a little awkward. Zim curled up on his side of the bed, pulling the blankets over his antennae, as though trying to isolate himself from his boyfriend. Dib, on the other hand, inched closer until he could feel the heat radiating from the alien's body. Swallowing hard, he reached over and draped an arm over his lover's waist. He didn't get hit, so he inched closer still. Their bodies were pushed completely against each other in a second and both stopped breathing for a second, wondering how the other would react. Neither said or did anything but settle their bodies comfortably together and relax.

Dib ran a hand along the smooth curve to Zim's waist. He enjoyed the feel and smiled to himself in the darkness of the room. Then, remembering what his lover had said, he applied pressure to the alien's lower back. A moan escaped his boyfriend's mouth, so he began to massage that area.

For a while, that was all they did. Dib tried to help his love relax and Zim hugged his pillow, trying not to show how much he was enjoying this bonding moment between the two. When the pain had subsided, though, Dib didn't release his beloved. Instead, once told he could go back to the couch, he wrapped his body around Zim's and hugged tight. He whispered back that he would never leave him alone at night again, that he was there forever, and that was a promise he intended to keep. The older boy blushed and squeezed the arms that encircled him.

" If you're staying, _Dib_, you should know that this is still my bedroom and I still own you," he muttered, closing his eyes as the warmth of the embrace started to make him feel drowsy. Dib kissed his neck gently.

" I understand, Zim," he said, snuggling against him, " I love you,"

" I love you... too... Dib..." Zim's voice trailed off as he fell asleep. Dib rested his head on the pillow next to him and felt sleep calling. Then, before he would think of a reason to stay awake, he too was sound asleep, his arm still wrapped around his lover.

* * *

Dib hit the floor as he heard footsteps hurrying off and a door closing to his right. Moaning, he sat up, looking around. His boyfriend was nowhere to be seen, so he assumed the reason he was on the floor was either because he'd pissed Zim off in some unknown way or Zim was in the bathroom because the ice cream had made him sick; human food in large amounts still did that to him, even after all the years he'd been exposed to it. Dusting himself off, Dib stood up and walked over to the only door in the place besides the elevator. He gave a gentle knock and in a moment, the door was ripped open by a stressed out, furious Zim. 

" Do you want something, Earth Boy?" Zim barked, pushing his finger into his chest. Dib arched an eyebrow, " GET OUT OF MY WAY!!!" he marched past him and fell onto the bed.

" Do you want me to get you something? Medicine? Saltine? Attitude adjustment?" he questioned, walking over and rubbing Zim's lower back. His lover growled at him. He did a double take, " Did you... Did you just growl at me?"

Zim kicked him in the leg, sending a wave of pain up his body. Dib screamed out, backing up and grabbing his leg. He demanded to know what that was all about, but all he heard was some muffled Irken and then he got the finger and a pillow thrown at him. Figuring this was just the hormone confusion and mood swings that came with the territory, Dib informed the alien that he was going upstairs for some toast and he'd bring some down later.

" YOU LIE!!!" Zim yelled, pounding on the bed and glaring at him with angry, tear filled eyes. Dib tried to approach the bed and had another pillow hit him in the chest, " GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!! NOW, HUMAN!!!" the alien then buried his head in the sheets and laid there lifeless.

" See you in a little bit," Dib hurried into the elevator and went up to the top floor, " Wow. And I thought he couldn't get any weirder," the door opened and Dib suddenly wished he was still downstairs with his emotionally detached, slightly insane, hormonally crazy pregnant boyfriend.

Gir ran around in circles in a smoke filled kitchen covered in muffins, tacos, and cupcake frosting. The fridge was through the wall and the light was blinking a panicked red color. Alarms of all kinds were going on. Smoke was billowing from the toaster, which then burst into open flames. The robot seemed completely oblivious to everything that was going on and continued to run around, singing a mismatched song about balloons and monkeys.

Dib hit the down button, the doors shut, and he hit reopen when he was at Zim's lab. In he strolled, ignoring the beeping coming from upstairs and the hunger in his stomach. Instead, he just sat down and stared blankly at the computer screen, wondering what he'd just signed up for and whether he could handle this new part of his job.

When he heard Zim screaming his name, he knew that, without a doubt, this overtime was going to be the death of him. If his alien boyfriend wasn't, that was.

* * *

A/N– Pregnant people have various mood swings, just like women on their periods. Since Zim is already neurotic and erratic, I figured making him slightly bipolar would be an accurate depiction of what he'd be like pregnant. So if he seems a little out of character, bare with me. It's just how pregnancy affects the poor boy. Makes him crazier then usual, which is saying a lot. 

That's all. Love Sai-Chan.


	6. Chapter 6

Within the week, Dib had successfully moved everything he owned from the house he'd grown up in to the bedroom he now shared with his boyfriend. Zim disapproved of having so much human stuff in his room, but there really was no where else to put it at the moment, so he'd have to deal for a bit. He huffed and puffed and kicked the human in the shin, but relented after a day or two. Once he had, Dib decided it was time for them to go back to school before they missed too much and actually had to spend extra time with Ms. Bitters to catch up.

Then they had to deal with the pregnancy head on. Zim may have only just started showing and had just a small curve to his stomach, but it was still a curve and was bound to be noticed by someone. It just wasn't something the normally rail thin Zim usually sported. But they just couldn't get past the whole clothes issue. Zim didn't want to wear the human clothes because they were human. However, Dib insisted he should since his uniform showcased his growing stomach and that was unwanted attention they just didn't need. Of course, they couldn't reach an agreement and just kept at it. They fought so long about them, in fact, that they completely forgot to think up a reasonable explanation to why Zim had the belly in the first place for when he became too big for them to hide it.

The alarm telling them it was time to get up and ready for school went off. They both stared at it in shock, having not even realized that night had fallen during their bickering. It slowly began to register in Dib's mind that they were going to be late for school if they didn't get a move on.

" Ack! Zim, just put the clothes on! We need to go! Jeez, no wonder you're always late! That alarm is set way too late!" Dib exclaimed, tearing off his clothes to replace them with fresh ones.

" I am not wearing human clothes!"

" Just do it! Just this once! For me! For the baby! Please! Don't be stubborn!" the younger boy knew he was asking for a miracle and he'd pay for it later, but he begged anyways. Zim's eyes narrowed, but he pulled on the loose clothes so his stomach could be hidden, " Thank you,"

" SILENCE!!!" Zim roared, marching past him and into the elevator. Dib hurried after him and slid inside it as the doors clanged shut. They were quiet all the way up, then the alien left and headed for the front door.

" Zim! Wait!" Dib snatched up a slice of toast and jogged after his clearly angry boyfriend. When he caught up to him, he held out the fried bread, " You forgot to eat breakfast. The baby needs food, even if you don't," he reminded him, waving the toast in his face. Zim yanked it from him and took a bite.

They didn't say much as they walked to school, knowing they were late already. Zim ate the offered toast and didn't bother to give any back to his boyfriend. They didn't hold hands, which slightly pained Dib. He didn't mention it, however, because he figured Zim didn't mean it as a vicious gesture. He was just busy with the toast and trying not to say thank you or anything of the sort. As soon as the alien had finished the toast, though, Dib took his hand, rather quickly, and held fast, just in case his lover had really been trying not to touch him.

Zim looked over at him, but didn't complain. In fact, a little smile formed on his lips, before being replaced with a completely indifferent, smug look. Dib snickered and smiled openly, knowing that, for the moment, his love had returned to normal.

When they reached the campus, Dib slowed down until they were at a standstill outside. Zim gave him questioning human eyes.

" What're we going to tell everyone?"

" Leave that to me, Slave. ZIM knows all," with that arrogant statement, Zim dragged his boyfriend up the steps and into the school. All the halls were empty, as they were late by quite a while since they'd chosen to walk. Neither seemed to care, however, and Zim threw open the classroom door like he did every other door that seemed to get in his way.

" Well, well, well. It looks like the _lovebirds_ have finally decided to _grace_ us with their presence," Ms. Bitters spat out, curling herself around the desk to glare at them. They acknowledged her, walking hand and hand to their desks. On their way there, Tak reached out and grabbed Zim's sleeve.

" Congrats, Zim. Gaz told me," she whispered, giving him a sweet smile that was so unlike her. She then regained her composure, squashed the female side of her that wanted to touch Zim's belly, and smiled evilly at her enemy, " As an Invader, you must be just giddy about giving up your mission. I'm sure you wouldn't mind giving it to me, then,"

" Leave him alone, Tak," Dib snapped out, pulling Zim away from her. She stuck out her tongue rather immaturely for her, before returning to the note she was writing, " Don't mind her, Zim. She's just..."

" SILENCE!!!" Zim ordered, pushing Dib into his seat, before walking to the front of the classroom. Ms. Bitters turned devilish eyes down on him, " If I may, Ms. Bitters, I have an announcement to make to the masses of humans," he gave her innocent eyes. She curled her lip in disgust.

" If you must,"

" Classmates," Zim turned to face the class. Dib moaned, knowing instantly what he was about to do. Tak arched an eyebrow, " Thanks to a failed experiment gone horribly wrong, I have temporarily been changed into a female and am currently carrying _Dib's_ seed. We have concluded that I am four months along. And no, we don't know what gender the child is. You may ask questions now,"

" What were you experimenting in?"

" Gender specifics,"

" That makes sense," someone in the back of the class muttered. Immediately, everyone began to agree and nod their heads in acceptance, " Can I feel your belly? Are you showing yet? Is Dib really the father?" the questions poured in, hands raising, as Dib smacked his head into the desk, truly embarrassed to call these people his species. Zim informed the class that he was indeed showing and that Dib was undoubtably the father, but that no, they couldn't feel his stomach. Groans filled the room while Zim took a seat next to his boyfriend and gave him a smug smile.

" Alright class, settle down," Ms. Bitters hissed, causing the class to grow quiet in a flash, " Now, _Zim_, when you feel that school is too much for you and your child, you may take maternity leave. However, that doesn't excuse you, _Dib_,"

" I understand, Ms. Bitters," Dib muttered into his desk before the woman, if you could call her that, began to teach. If he hadn't spent so many years trying to convince his classmates of the obvious, he wouldn't have believed that anyone would've bought that lie Zim had fed the class. Either way, it got the class off their case and that's what they'd been aiming for, so he couldn't complain. Even if he wanted to.

* * *

After school that day, Zim went straight to bed. Dib was a little concerned, but being sworn at and having some piece of Irken technology chucked into his head was enough to kill whatever consideration he'd had for his ailing boyfriend. Instead, he hid in the kitchen, pleased to find it Gir free. He stayed there for quite some time, trying to be silent and just be ignored by the alien supposedly sleeping downstairs. He was alone for a bit before the pantry opened and Zim stepped out, rubbing the sides of his head, antennae twitching in annoyance.

" Feeling any better?" Dib questioned, watching as Zim marched over to the fridge and ripped it open. He fetched the ice cream and started to eat it, " Having cravings or are you trying to get yourself sick to avoid school tomorrow?"

" Whatever do you mean? Why would I, ZIM, try to skip school?"

" Because it drains you and you don't like to feel helpless?"

" Irken Elite such as myself never feel helpless," he causally informed him, waving his hand. Dib arched an eyebrow, before walking over and pinning the alien to the wall by slamming his hands up. They stared at each other. Then Zim slammed his boot down onto Dib's foot and brought a scream from the human.

" OWWWW!!!!" he wailed, hopping around the kitchen, " You know, there'll come a day when that works, Zim!"

" Yes, yes, I'm sure,"

" Don't you make fun of me," Dib stormed over and pushed his finger into Zim's chest. The pinkish red eyes narrowed just slightly at the physical contact, " You're not so high and mighty now that you're pregnant, are you? Hmm? What're you gonna do now?"

Zim kissed Dib, deeply, on the mouth, holding the human's head in place with his gloved hands. At first, the younger boy was caught off guard and didn't know what to do. Then he felt his boyfriend's tongue inside his mouth and his body instantly relaxed and his tongue too began to explore. He ran his hands over the soft cotton of the strange human clothes until he found his lover's curved waist. He fingered Zim's sides, then inched his hands to the small of his back and pushed down. The alien let out a moan into the kiss and shuddered, his claws slightly nicking Dib's face. Both smiled as their bodies drew closer and the younger of the two began to rub Zim's back, forcing them even closer then before.

As always, Zim wrapped his legs around Dib's waist in the heat of their frenching. The human stumbled backwards, trying to support the two of them. When he hit the wall, he slid down into a sitting position and sat his boyfriend in his lap, safely. One of his hands then slipped to his lover's sweet ass whereas the other remained touching the tense skin of his lower back. Zim's hands drifted down to the human's shoulders and the claws dug in almost painfully. Dib gasped into the kiss, his body giving a shake he couldn't control as well.

The alien playfully nibbed at his boyfriend's lower lip, his eyes shining with wicked intent. Dib pulled their lower halves together and they embraced in an even deeper kiss. All at once their bodies became one once more, from head to toes. Another being of neither species, completely detached from the world around them. Everything was a void, a haze around them that neither mattered nor registered in all the intense emotion of their passion for one another. They blended into nothing but passion and a smeet caught in the middle of it all, surrounded on all sides by the heated intensity of it's parents love.

That moment made both of them gasp and choke for air. They held the other tight, breathing in the air around them. Dib's hands encircled Zim's waist, securing his pregnant belly between the two to them. Zim's gloved hands, however, rested on either side of said belly, thus leaving all his weight to his boyfriend to support. The smeet was warm due to all the passion and they both smiled because of it.

The front door opened and in skipped a singing Gir, holding a grocery bag in one hand and a slushie in the other. He spotted the two of them on the floor the very same moment they saw him. They all looked at one another, the door shutting behind the robot in disguise.

" MASTER!!! I WANT A HUG!!!" Gir shouted, dropping everything he was holding and rushing over with his arms outstretched. Zim's eyes widened to fill his face and Dib screamed.

" GIR!!! NO!!! NO HUG!!" Zim tried to stand up to get away, but Dib grabbed his wrists and suddenly smacked him into the wall behind them. He covered Zim like a shield and took the hug back first. There was a cracking sound and Dib let out a wail, twitching, " GIR!!! LET GO OF THE HUMAN BOY!!!"

" I like tacos," the robot exclaimed, before dropping onto the floor and merely laying there. Zim gave him a strange look, then turned his attention to the human in front of him. Dib violently shook, rubbing his back, but he seemed to have survived the hug of DOOM.

" Gir! You can't do that anymore!" Zim ordered, getting to his feet and dusting off. Dib agreed, pushing his spine back in place, " My smeet can't handle the pressure. You have to be gentle,"

" WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"

" GIR!!! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME!!"

" Yes, Master!" Gir snapped to life, his body glowing red as he saluted the alien. Zim's left eye twitched, his hands balling into fists, " I will obey. I will be careful with the smeet," he repeated, which calmed his owner down. Zim sighed with relief as the robot faded back to blue, " LEMME FEEL!!!"

Gir went to grab Zim's belly, but was smacked on the head by Dib. The robot turned towards him, looking utterly confused.

" No! Gir! That's not anyway to handle a child!" the human instructed, placing down the toaster he'd banged the robot on the head with. Seeing the confusion, Dib pulled Gir over to his boyfriend, " See, this is what you're supposed to do. Just carefully rub Zim's stomach like this," he placed his palm on Zim's belly and rubbed in a circular motion.

" Ooooooooooohhhhhh... lemme try!" Gir said, clapping his hands happily. Dib smiled, looking up at his boyfriend as though expecting to be rewarded for a job well done.

" Did I give you permission to touch my stomach, _Dib_?" Zim growled out instead, his eyes vicious, though his face was red. Dib swallowed hard, slowly drawing his hand away from the curve, " Never touch me again unless I've given you permission to do so. Understand, Love Slave?"

" Y-Yes,"

" Good. NOW!!" Zim jabbed his finger at the sky. Dib arched an eyebrow, giving him a weird look, " I have business to attend to in the lab! It is time to check the weasel experiment! GIR!!! Go fetch me the ray gun! COMPUTER!!! Take me to the WEASELS!!!"

" Wait! Zim!" Dib grabbed hold of his arm and got the alien to stare at him, though he was pretty sure the stare wasn't friendly, " You can't just go and experiment on... weasels. You're pregnant now. You have to be more careful,"

" And I in-"

" I don't think you doing experiments is such a good thing," the younger one continued, rubbing Zim's arms, trying to comfort him. His boyfriend looked at him with a dim look, " Well, you have a tendency to blow things up and your man eating animals always seem to escape and you have a knack for getting hurt. That's just not good for the baby. You should take a break from all that. You know, take maternity leave, like you _promised_ your Tallest you would,"

" I cannot take maternity leave. I am an Invader-"

" Who's four months pregnant,"

" That doesn't mean I can't-"

" You said so yourself to the Tallest. You can't complete your mission when pregnant. That's not how Invader's work," Dib reminded him, forcing a smile. Zim frowned, " You just have to take it easy from now on. No more of this insanity. Just... take a break... or something,"

" A break? I don't understand. I've never taken time off before. What the hell am I supposed to do with myself?" the alien demanded, hands on his hips. Dib shrugged.

" Why don't you go do research or something? Or... lie down for a little while?"

" This is idiotic. I can take care of myself,"

" Are you kidding me?" Dib gave a short laugh, putting an arm around his boyfriend's shoulder, " You couldn't take care of yourself before you were pregnant. What makes you think you can now that you are?"

Zim punched Dib in the stomach, twitching violently. The human gasped out, falling to his knees. Gir pointed and laughed as the older boy glared down at him.

" I'm going to go take a nap. YOU, human, will stay here with GIR," he ordered, marching over to the pantry elevator, " And you will sleep on the couch tonight. ZIM will not be insulted in my own home. Good bye, Slave," the doors to the elevator snapped shut and then Zim was gone.

" Oh, this is going to be a long few months," Dib moaned out, sitting up. He just prayed that Zim's moods would even out in the months to come. Something told him, however, that all the agony of this pregnancy was just beginning and he'd have to bandage a couple limbs before all was said and done. That and he'd be sleeping on the couch several more nights.

On the plus side, Zim was finally taking his advice.

* * *

A/N- Anyone else notice that the ice cream Zim was eating just disappears in this chapter? Hmmm... weird... Oh well.

That's all. Love Sai-Chan


	7. Chapter 7

The alarm for school started blaring at it's newly adjusted, earlier time. Dib groaned and smacked it off. He didn't bother getting up. There was no school that day. Some holiday he didn't even know the name to was going on and it they'd been told to stay home. Why he hadn't turned off the blasted alarm was beyond him. So, he just curled up under the mountain of purplish sheets that bore the seal of his boyfriend's home country and felt around for said boyfriend. Today was a special day and he wanted to have an early morning snuggle before something happened that made them have to get up and put out a fire or stop the end of the world coming before his alien could blow the planet to bits and get the bragging rights.

Zim wasn't in bed with him.

" What the hell?" Dib exclaimed, sitting up and pushing off the blankets. Aside from him, the bed was completely devoid of life. Actually, the entire bedroom was empty save for him, " Where'd he go?"

Figuring that searching was a far better idea then just sitting in bed waiting for the moment when his lover would pop back in, Dib climbed out and pulled on some clothes. Then he ditched the room and headed up to the kitchen above. The lights were all off, so he quickly realized no one had been up there since the night before. That, or Gir had destroyed the power source again and the upstairs was cast in darkness. However, the lack of glowing, angry eyes told him that whatever the reason for the darkness, the person he was looking for wasn't up there.

He went downstairs to the lab instead. All the computers were glowing and things were buzzing and someone was clicking on controls. Smiling, he strolled over to the main computer and leaned against the side of the chair there.

Zim was typing away, his hands moving rapidly across the strange Irken controls, words flying across the screens at insane rates. His alien eyes followed each word and he continued to move his fingers over the keys. Dib was impressed, as always, when he saw how professionally his lover could work when he put his mind to it.

" Good morning. And happy six months," the human interrupted, leaning down and planting a kiss on his boyfriend's cheek. Zim nodded, his antennae twitching, " How's the baby this morning?"

" Fine," was all he got as a response as Zim's hands flew across the controls. Dib frowned a little bit, trying to read what he was doing, but it moved too fast. When he asked, Zim grinned a little, " I'm checking the status on the Massive and the other Invaders to see if I can slow them down. I'm also running a diagnostic over the smeet and myself. The computer is also locating Gir, who seems to have run off to Mexico again,"

" You're giving yourself an ultrasound?"

" A what?"

" An ultrasound. It's a human technique of checking on unborn babies," Dib explained, watching as those eyes briefly glanced in his direction. Zim nodded just slightly, " Is everything okay?"

" So far so good. Do you want something, _Dib_?"

" It's our day to celebrate, Zim. I... wanted to spend some time together. Just the two of us," Dib was trying not to sound completely pathetic, but he couldn't really help it.

Ever since he'd put limitations on what Zim could and couldn't do while pregnant, the alien had been up to no good by running checks and scans on every living thing Irken and human alike. He'd been researching and gathering data like never before, logging away more information then the Massive had in their entire storage system in a day's work. All this work seemed to keep the alien happy and content with him no longer being able to destroy the humans, but it was driving Dib insane. He thought Zim was working himself to death between the searching and school and pregnancy. He'd always known that besides being insane, paranoid, and a total germaphob, his boyfriend was a workaholic. However, he hadn't thought it'd be this bad.

" Hold that thought, Love Slave," the older boy said, his typing increasing to a speed Dib hadn't even thought possible. In a matter of moments, all the screens began to close and things pinged off, " Okay then. We shall celebrate now,"

" Wait... you're already done?"

" Well, I didn't get up so early for no reason, stupid human," was the haughty remark as Zim got to his feet and flashed that ever smug smile of his. Dib was in awe at his consideration for a second, then he just beamed and gently gave his lover a hug.

" You're wonderful,"

" Yes, yes. Tell me something I don't know,"

" Don't. You're gonna ruin the moment," Dib informed him in a whisper, wrapping his arms around his waist and resting his hands on Zim's curved stomach. Over the past month it'd grown quite a bit. Now there was no questioning that the alien was excepting. As big as he was, however, they both knew he was going to get bigger, even if they never really talked about the subject. Still, none of that mattered much to the human at the moment. As he had for the last month, he simply liked to rest his hands on the curve when they hugged and forget about Zim's orders and the pregnancy and Gir and the Massive and the whole saving Earth thing.

They stayed like that for a moment in time. Dib held his lover close and Zim's eyes shut so he could wrap himself in the warmth of the embrace. Everything in the house was quiet and there was no work to be done and no school to attend. No questions to answer, no people to talk to, no transmissions coming through, no professors asking for the Membrane boy. That sort of peace was something rare for the two and they savored it.

Then, slowly, Dib moved one hand from his boyfriend's chin and used it to push Zim's chin up. They gently kissed. It was a quick, chaste kiss, but it meant the world to them in that quiet peace they hadn't felt since the evening their child was conceived.

That was it. As soon as they'd shared their innocent kiss that reflected the existence they somewhat wanted, they were engaged in a wet, hot, passionate kiss that revealed the chaotic, but emotionally fulfilling lives they really led, what with trying to save and destroy the Earth simultaneously. Zim's legs encircled Dib's slender waist and Dib's hands cupped his ass to support him as they stumbled backwards to the elevator that would take them to their bedroom. Their tongues slipped effortlessly over one another's, Zim's three fingered hands twisting up Dib's blue shirt and tearing the fabric a little.

They never made it to the bedroom. Dib walked into some computer or something similar to it and decided they'd gone as far as they were going. They fell to the floor, lips still locked and breathing the other in as deep as they were kissing. Zim's claws tore the cloth shirt on his lover's back and he ripped it off in frustration. Once it was off, he dug those claws into the scarred flesh of his human and caused fresh blood to leak out in thin lines. Dib winced at the pain and gasped into the kiss.

The alien straddled him fully, moving his lips to Dib's neck and biting down. The younger boy moaned and shuddered, his hands moving to the front of his boyfriend's pants. He undid them and began to help Zim wriggle out of them as the older boy unfastened Dib's pants at the same time. They were out of their jeans in the same moment and breathing deeply as Zim licked his fingers until they were slick. Dib let out the first scream of the morning when the fingers were pushed inside him to make him 'wet'. Teasingly, his boyfriend repeated the process several times.

" JUST TAKE ME, DAMMIT!!!" Dib shouted, grabbing hold of Zim's legs as tightly as humanly possible. Zim gave him a look that told him to stop giving commands as he licked his lips in an almost hungry way.

Zim then shoved himself inside Dib, causing both of them to cry out in the joyous pain that erupted in heat all over them. Dib lifted his body off the floor the best he could to make this easier on his boyfriend, meeting him halfway. The alien thrust into his lover and back out, using one hand to dig claws into the leg of his spouse and the other to steady his curved belly during the intercourse. Dib let out wail after wail, smiling at the agony that was tearing through his body. This was the best pain he'd ever felt in his life. The absolute best.

The motion grew faster as they found the angle needed to allow for ultimate pain for both of them. Dib's screams blended into one long moan and made Zim feel heat rising all over his body and build behind his erect cock. He couldn't help but relish the sounds of his boyfriend crying out for more and mercy in the very same breath. It was almost too much pleasure for one Irken to handle.

Dib's nails scratched across the wired floor as his head was thrown back in a loud shriek. Somewhere deep inside him, he felt one of 'his spots' being struck. Stars filled his already double vision. Everything was numb save for the beautiful pain he felt as he became one body and one soul with his beloved once more. His chest rose rapidly, his nails cutting along the ground, his head crashed back, his glasses came off. The world blurred, but he could still hear Zim moaning out in pleasure over his screaming and he could still feel his lover inside his tight ass. That was all that mattered in that moment as he was struck in that sensitive area once more.

Blood began to rush down Dib's leg as Zim adjusted the position and moved his legs back farther. Flesh tore and the screaming heightened. Heat overwhelmed the alien and he let out a gasp of his own, his head swimming. Knowing it wasn't too much longer, he started to push and pull himself in and out rougher, faster, to bring his lover at the same time he went. He hit the spot he knew was inside the human with each thrust, bringing about a whole other level of shrieking from the boy beneath him.

Both let out howls as they came when the thrusting reached its peak. They rode their orgasms down together, claws and nails digging into flesh and floor. When it was over, they were laying together in sweat, blood, and sticky cum, and smiling as they held the other tight. Zim pulled himself out of his boyfriend and Dib took him into his arms, kissing him on the base of the neck.

Their panting filled the air as the only sound in the suddenly quiet hallway of the lab. Dib pushed the line of their bodies together, resting his head in the nook of Zim's neck. The older boy snuggled in the pleasant warmth emitting from his boyfriend's body, allowing himself to be consumed in hugs and little kisses. He didn't even say anything when one of the human's hands drifted down and rested on his curved stomach, as if checking to make sure their antics hadn't disrupted the smeet. Actually, the fact that Dib cared that much made Zim smile to himself and just kiss the arm wrapped around him, holding him securely against his lover.

" I love you, Zim," Dib whispered, twisting his fingers up in the blue T-shirt still on his boyfriend.

" I love you too, Dib," Zim answered, closing his eyes.

" Thanks for the present. I really didn't expect it," the joke went unanswered. When Dib looked down, he saw that Zim's eyes were closed, " Are you asleep?"

" No,"

" Then wh-"

" Silence, human," he ordered in a stern voice. Dib grew quiet and allowed his beloved to do whatever it was he was doing.

What he was doing was merely enjoying the feeling of being held by someone who truly loved him. Zim had never felt so content in all his life, not even when destroying things that bothered him. The idea of having an undying love sort of relationship had seemed so farfetched when he'd announced that he was looking for a boyfriend to settle down with. He'd expected Dib to apply for the job and that they'd have a love-hate-love type of relationship until he completed his mission and got rid of Earth. He'd figured that was where their relationship would end and he'd just head back to Irk for a new mission from his Tallest. He hadn't expected what he'd gotten.

But there he was. The great, almighty Irken Invader Zim was five months pregnant and being held by the father of his smeet, Dib Membrane. His mission was on hiatus and he hadn't heard from the Tallest in a few weeks. Gir was learning to control himself around the two and both the girls Gaz and Tak were supportive of his pregnancy. He'd been given maternity leave by both his rulers and Ms. Bitters and the class had been taken care of. All that was left, then, was what he had at that moment.

Sheer, utter love for his spouse and his smeet. The feeling was conquering the Invader's senses and making him feel like he was floating on a cloud somewhere in heaven or whatever. He was lighter then air, perfectly content and happy there on that cold floor in the arms of his beloved. Nothing had ever felt so right. Invader or not, Irken Elite or not, he knew right then and there what it was he wanted and what he was meant to be.

Zim was a mother. And he loved it. Whether or not he told Dib, he knew it and his smeet knew it. He was a mother. And not even the Massive could take that feeling away from him, could get him to feel any different. Invader Zim was a mother. He was. He was. He was. Nothing could ever change that. Not even the fact that his and Dib's mere existences were opposites and placing them against one another come battle. Not even that he was an Invader and he wasn't supposed to raise children. Not even that there was a chance this happy feeling he had in his heart was only fleeting because of his and Dib's existences. Zim was a mother.

" Zim... why're you crying? Is something wrong?" Dib questioned, when he saw tears on the face of his boyfriend. Zim shook his head, refusing to answer as he smiled through the tears, " Are you okay?"

" I love you, Dib," was what Zim said, squeezing the arm wrapped around his chest. He didn't say anything else that was on his mind. He just repeated that over and over and over in Irken, knowing that his boyfriend couldn't understand a word he was saying.

" I... I love you too, Zim," Dib whispered back, kissing Zim gently on the cheek as his lover spoke in his native tongue, seemingly to himself, " Even if you're cussing me out, I still love you,"

" Stupid human," was the last piece of English Dib got out of the alien before they grew quiet again. The tears were gone and Zim was just hugging his arm, smiling to himself and not saying anything. Dib, knowing how insane his boy could be, just hugged him back and let him do and say and think whatever he pleased without worry that it was something bad. If it were, he knew, as he'd known for years, Zim would be yelling at him in English, not whispering in Irken.

They stayed on the floor for the longest time. Dib drifted off into a slumber filled with Irken insanity and lots of cupcakes from Mexico. Zim, on the other hand, stayed awake to enjoy the feel of being a mother for a little while longer, if only because he knew when Dib came to, they'd have to get dressed and go about life as though these tender moments didn't happen. Until then, he'd just pretend their lives weren't nearly as bizarre as they were. In those moments, Dib wasn't the savior of the human race and he wasn't the elite Irken Invader bent on destroying the Earth. They were just the tired father and mother of an unborn smeet in an Irken lab somewhere on a foreign planet, laying together, warm and happy and content with life.

A smile crossed Zim's face at the image. Maybe one day he could make that vision a reality. Of course, that would involve blowing the Earth to bits and finishing his mission and thus ending his lover's. Not that an Invader of Zim's classifications couldn't make that possible.

The smile changed to something wicked as Zim's eyes narrowed. Mother or not, he could still be a devious little thing, he thought, rubbing the sides of his growing belly.


	8. Chapter 8

Zim's fingers flew over the controls to his central command system, instructing it on what he wanted it to do and how to do it. Next to him, a screen glowed with research he'd gathered over the last six years since he'd arrived on Earth. On the other side, there was a spinning diagram of a space station he'd been working on in the last few weeks. He'd created a plan to create his perfect family vision and make it one hundred percent real. For the past weeks, he'd started on laying the foundations for this plan, beginning to piece together his research and such. Everything was going according to schedule and Dib was still none the wiser that all his work was geared solely towards a plan that would flawlessly take out every living creature on Earth.

He pushed on one of the controls and the computer commenced downloading the files he'd just constructed into robots he'd created a while back but never used. Before, he'd just been playing around with design and such when he'd built them. Now, he was making sure they understood what they were supposed to do so he wouldn't end up hurting himself, or the smeet, with physical labor.

" I'M A GENIUS!!!" he declared as the robots came to life and followed their orders to go down to one of the other sections of the Base to begin putting together the space station. A wicked smile crossed his face when he saw that everything was going according to plan.

At the rate things were going, Zim would have his picture perfect family before the smeet was even born. And how could he not, he thought. His plan was wonderful. A space station with an all powerful, super charged death ray laser gun with a pin point scope to be placed a little ways away from the planet. Once activated, he'd be able to tear the beam across the countries of Earth, wiping out the entire planet's population in a matter of minutes. He knew it would work. It was the same kind of technology the Massive itself used when destroying remaining life of conquered planets. And with the robots in place, the station would be built in a matter of months, leading the way to the total destruction of mankind.

To make the deal sweeter, Dib had no idea what was going on. As far as he knew, Zim was merely trying to occupy his sudden free time with mindless designs for future plans and tons of research and busy work. He hadn't even begun to suspect that the alien was once again thinking like an Invader. Honestly, he believed that the older boy would listen to the Tallest when they told him a little rest would do him good. So, with that distraction out of the way, Zim was free to move forward with his evil plan.

" Zim? You down here?" came Dib's voice from the elevator before the doors opened and he stepped out, still dressed in his black pajamas. Zim quickly switched the displays on his computers, " What're you doing up so early? I thought we agreed you'd sleep in today,"

" Nonsense, Dib human," he waved him off nonchalantly, " I must get these lab reports done. They will not write themselves you know,"

" I understand that, Zim, but you still need to rest,"

" YOU'RE LYING!!!" Zim suddenly yelled, standing up on his chair and pointing wildly at his lover. Dib arched an eyebrow as the alien took a seat calmly, as though that hadn't just happened.

" O-kay... that might've been weird if I hadn't known you for so damned long..." Dib's voice trailed off, his eyes scanning the screens for an idea on what the older boy thought was so important. From what he could tell, everything he was doing had to do with checking on the Base and it's defenses.

The human sighed, covering his face. He'd tried for so long, so very long, to convince his boyfriend that all this could wait. All he ever saw him doing was running scans on everything. Yet, Zim insisted that it was important. Dib just couldn't wrap his mind around it. In all honesty, he figured that Zim either didn't want to admit that he had no mission at the moment because he was on maternity leave from the Tallest or he was working on some evil plan. Both were plausible, but the younger boy had known Zim for six years and knew that, without a doubt, there was no way he'd be able to work out an evil plan and keep it a secret for as long as he'd been working on busy work. So, he'd narrowed all this obsessive behavior down to denial.

Not that _that_ was a particularly good thing. Zim was insane enough. He really didn't need to go into denial about something and compromise what remained of his sense and reason. That, or endanger their child. As the alien had no perception of how far was too far, it was a reasonable fear, Dib concluded, that the child would be, in some way to some degree, injured in all this denial.

Needless to say, Dib was a nervous wreck over all this. He couldn't sleep unless Zim was in bed with him, for fear that his boyfriend would work straight through the night or not eat anything for hours on hours. He couldn't eat unless Zim was there with him. He was so afraid his lover would go days without eating simply because he didn't need anything and he forgot about the child's needs. He knew Zim all too well. Zim was absentminded about things that didn't revolve around Irk and it's military. He'd forget everything if he was doing something he thought the Tallest would need to continue their galactic conquest. Somehow, Dib thought a child would be on the forgotten list. It just seemed so Zim.

So, he had to convince his lover that some time off was a good thing, for everyone's sake. He'd tried begging, bribing, force, and talking. Zim had ignored the begging, informed him there was nothing on Earth he could bribe him with, zapped him with the spider legs when he'd touched him, and talked over him to explain that Dib just didn't understand. Now he was out of ideas and desperately searching his brain for anything he could use to tempt the alien back to the bedroom for some sleep.

" Zim, you promised the Tallest that you'd take maternity leave almost two months ago. Don't you think you should honor that promise?" he suggested, gently touching his boyfriend's shoulder. Those alien eyes looked at him and he shuddered just slightly.

" My Tallest will understand. I am an Invader after all,"

" You're almost six months pregnant. You should take some vacation time, don't you think?"

" No,"

" Come on, Zim. I'm begging you, again, please, just take some time off," Dib said, debating whether or not dropping to his knees would have any effect. Zim's eyes narrowed just slightly, " This isn't healthy, for you or the child. You need rest,"

" Dib human, how you fail to comprehend that phrase 'Irken Invader' is beyond me. However, as I have stated previously, an Invader does not let anything come between them and their mission. And ZIM is an Elite Invader," he declared, pushing a finger into Dib's forehead, " I can handle a small pregnancy,"

" Are you listening to yourself! Have you heard anything I've said over the past few weeks!" Dib shouted, clenching his fists at his sides. Zim's eyes narrowed all the way, " TAKE A VACATION, ZIM!!! FOR THE LAST TIME!!!"

" I SAID NO, DIB!!!"

" YOU PROMISED ME, THE TALLEST, AND THIS UNBORN CHILD THAT YOU WOULD!!!"

" I LIED!!! THAT SHOULDN'T SURPRISE YOU VERY MUCH!!!"

" I DEMAND THAT YOU TAKE A VACATION, RIGHT NOW!!!"

" WHY DON'T YOU TRY AND MAKE ME, FILTHY HUMAN!!!" Zim's spider legs came out of his pac and their ends touched and created an electrically charged ball. Dib drew back, " That's what I thought, pitiful human,"

" No fair. You have weapons,"

" All's fair in war. I thought your kind knew that,"

" Well, yeah, but... this isn't war... Zim... this is an argument between lovers... not a battlefield..." Dib stopped, seeing the confused look on his boyfriend's face, " Oh never mind. You're a solider. You wouldn't understand,"

" Then we're agreed this is a battle and I've won, yes?"

" Yeah... I guess,"

" NO ONE CAN DEFEAT ZIIIMMM!!!" he declared, laughing loudly and pointing at his boyfriend. Dib rolled his eyes, waiting it out as he had for so many years. The laughter went on for a moment, then suddenly stopped as Zim's eyes widened and his hands pushed against the sides of his curved stomach, " Enh?"

" Zim? What's wrong?"

The older boy didn't answer. His hands tightened on his belly, his face contracting a look of pain as he sank down onto his chair. Dib's head filled instantly with a million and one things that could be wrong with his lover and panic began to snake it's way down his body. He began to freak out, basically running around in a circle, demanding to know what Zim was feeling, where the pain was, and what he could do to help. Zim gritted his teeth together, hugging his stomach and curling up on his chair.

Dib's voice became background noise that blended into the constant beeping of the computers. Zim's thought ran together as he felt pains shooting up his stomach. They felt like contractions, that much he knew by instinct. The pains that accompanied labor. But this wasn't labor, he knew. The slit needed to have the smeet hadn't formed yet. That and he wasn't even six months along yet. A miscarriage? No, no, no, he forced himself to think. He wasn't going to miscarry. He was an Invader. He was Elite. He wasn't about to lose a smeet. He was stronger then that. Even though he knew losing a smeet had nothing to do with strength or rank.

Think, he commanded of himself. There must be something else. Something, anything else. His thoughts darted through all the images of his computer screens charting out an Irken pregnancy. Miscarriage, still born, weight gain, labor, cravings, back pain, morning sickness, maternity leave, child's birth, contractions, Braxton-Hicks.

A light went off in the alien's head. Braxton-Hicks. False labor pains that happened throughout the pregnancy. Not as painful as the real deal, but very close. That's what this had to be. He knew it. He just knew it.

" Braxton-Hicks," he muttered through clenched teeth, one eyes opening to look at his boyfriend. Dib froze in mid freak out, looking over at him. He repeated the statement, before moaning and rubbing the sides of his stomach. All at once, the human was standing next to him, smiling a big, goofy grin.

" Oh. That makes sense. I can't believe I didn't think of that. Of course, of course. False Labor. No wonder you were hugging your stomach," Dib said, his voice continuing next to the alien. It went on and on, impossible to ignore.

Zim's gloved hand grabbed Dib's neck and squeezed.

" SILENCE, HUMAN!!!!" he shouted, his claws digging just slightly into Dib's neck. His boyfriend choked and weakly nodded. He was released, " Do something useful, or get out of my lab,"

" What can I do?"

" I DON'T CARE!!! JUST DO SOMETHING, YOU USELESS PIECE OF FLESH AND BONE!!!" Zim roared, his spider legs coming out and glowing at the ends with electricity. Dib backed up slightly, shaking a little. Then the alien moaned, bent double and the spider legs were sucked back into his pac, " Go away, Dib human..."

" Don't be ridiculous, Zim. I'm not going to leave you in pain!"

" ZIM doesn't need you here!"

" You know, when you say it like that, it sounds like you have a second personality in there,"

" GET OUT!!!!"

" No I-"

The spider legs came back out and shot beams of electricity at him. Screaming and dodging the blasts, Dib bolted to the elevator. He shouted that he wanted to help him and a beam hit him and he let out a howl as he shook all the way to the ground. Still, he tried to mutter that he only wanted to help and more blasts hit the elevator, breaking it and preventing it from leaving. Dib hid on one side so as not to get hit. The next beam rocked the elevator and slammed the human's head into the metal behind his head. His vision blacked and he slumped over.

* * *

When Dib came to, the elevator was trying to shut it's doors. However, it'd been hit too many times and couldn't move them more then a couple inches. Groaning and rubbing his head, he got off the floor and peeked outside. The floor leading to said elevator was riddled with black holes, but no spider legs were pointed in his direction. Sensing the coast was clear, he left his hiding spot and slowly made his way back over to his boyfriend's chair. 

" Zim?"

He leaned over the chair and found two reddish pink eyes glaring up at him. He screamed and hid behind the chair, completely expecting the spider legs to start shooting at him again. Nothing happened, except that he heard laughter coming from his lover. Carefully, he got back up and leaned against the chair.

Zim was laying in it, hands resting on his large stomach, feet up on his locked control board. He was snickering at his boyfriend's cowardly display, but seemed to neither be angry nor in any pain.

" Why did you attack me? I just wanted to help," Dib questioned, crossing his arms over his chest. The alien looked at him harshly and he fought off a shudder.

" I didn't need your help,"

" You're too arrogant, Zim. We're dating and that's my child too. I have a right to help you when you're in pain. That's the point behind all this,"

" I didn't need you," he restated, rubbing his stomach and refusing to look at Dib. The younger boy sighed, sinking down onto the seat next to Zim.

" No... you just didn't want to admit you were scared and you needed my help," the human answered, running a hand through his black hair. The alien didn't respond, " Look. You're going to need my help, but that doesn't make you helpless or any less of an Invader, okay? You just have to trust me on this one, okay?"

" ME? Trust a HUMAN?"

" Don't say it like that. I'm not just any human, remember? I'm your boyfriend... love slave... whatever you wanna call it," he reminded him, patting his knee. Zim's antennae went up slightly at the sudden physical contact, then relaxed.

" I suppose you're right. For once, " Zim sneered, clearly not happy about that. Dib resisted the urge to nod.

" So... is there anything that hurts that I can.. I dunno... help with? And be honest,"

" My lower back aches. Do something about it, Slave," Zim instructed as though this was his idea, sitting up. Dib ignored the tone and began to rub that part of his back. His boyfriend shuddered, his eyes closing as he received the massage.

For a moment, all was quiet. Zim completely and utterly zoned out as Dib rubbed and pushed on his sore back. Dib, too, zoned out in the process. He'd waited for so long for his boyfriend to finally admit he was hurting that he was lost in his elation. The two remained in their daze for a while. The world could've been taken out by the Massive and neither would've ever noticed. All that mattered in the moment was the massage and how good it felt to the both of them; Zim because his tense muscles were being relaxed and Dib because he'd never won a battle with his lover before.

Then Zim felt it. A slight movement from the smeet. Pressure and a little pain. One of his hands touched his stomach, his eyes staring down, blush rushing to his face. The movement came again, pushing against his hand. He tenderly rubbed the area where he felt the pressure, a smile crossing his face.

" Dib," he quietly said, glancing over at the boy behind him. The human looked over at him, " The smeet's kicking,"

" What! Really! Oh my Gawd!" Dib exclaimed, a huge grin on his face. They looked at each other, both with smiles on their faces, " C-can I feel? Please?" his hand inched towards his boyfriend's curved stomach. Zim grimaced, but agreed.

Dib placed his hand on Zim's stomach. Almost instantly, he felt the tiny movement inside his lover. His child was kicking for the first time since it was conceived. Oh the joy that rushed through his veins as his smile, somehow, got even wider. Zim rolled his eyes but smiled as well, touching his belly and feeling his smeet moving.

" Feels real strong," the younger boy said, " Kinda like you, Zim... hmm.. Maybe it'll be like you... that would be a shame, wouldn't it?"

The gloved fist slammed into his face before he could even utter the words 'just joking'.

* * *

A/N- Yes, the first time a child will kick or move is around the five month to six month mark. Normally five months. As this child isn't human, I just threw it in here and called it normal. But, alas, babies don't have feet until right around late four months and whatever. They actually look like they have tails in the first few months. In fact, the heartbeat can't even be heard until about four months unless the mother is getting an ultrasound and check up from the doctor. Before then, the heart hasn't even formed. 

And yes, Braxton-Hicks does hurt like real contractions. Actually, a lot of women in the later months of their pregnancies go to the hospital because they think they're in labor. However, it's merely false labor pains. I'm not sure what causes Braxton-Hicks, but it's completely normal and no, it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with the smeet.

The differences that Zim might've noticed that told him it was Braxton-Hicks and not labor would be that his water hadn't broken, the number one sign that labor has started, and that over time, the contractions weren't getting any closer. Just in case you were wondering.

For those of you who don't know, by the way, a miscarriage is when, for natural causes, a pregnancy ends prematurely. Meaning, the baby dies. Technically, it's called a miscarriage during the first twenty weeks of a pregnancy, first five months, and having a stillborn, dead child, afterwards. However, I used miscarriage because I think it sounded better. And yeah, having a miscarriage hurts.

Yup. Interesting, ain't it? Aren't I a freak for knowing all this? Ah well.

That's all. Love you, Sai-Chan.


	9. Chapter 9

Dib rode the newly fixed elevator down to the bedroom he shared with his alien lover. In his hands was a blood red rose and a small box of chocolates. Today was the two's seven months and even though they'd already agreed that the hot and heavy stuff had to be put on hold as the slit was starting to form, he'd still gone out and bought a couple presents. He was positive Zim wouldn't have bothered, but that really didn't matter to him. He just wanted to please his boyfriend because the mood swings were starting to get wilder and he honestly just didn't want to get dissected for something stupid.

The doors opened and he stepped out, preparing to be hit or shot at. Nothing happened, so he opened his eyes. Zim was laying against all the pillows piled at the head of their bed, a couple magazines laying next to him. A red pen was in one hand and one of the magazines was in the other. He circled something as his boyfriend walked over.

" Happy Seven Months, Zim. What're you doing?" Dib questioned, taking a seat next to him and placing the presents down, " What're those? Where'd you get them?"

" They're catalogs and they came from Irk," he answered, switching which hand held the pen so he could open the box of chocolates. Dib arched an eyebrow as he watched his lover take a bite, " Here," he reached under his pillow and then held up a stuffed bear holding a red sign that said 'I Wuv You'.

" Aw, Zim, it's adorable," Dib exclaimed, taking it from him and giving it a light hug, " Thanks,"

" Yes, yes, I am the master of romance. You may continue with your praise," Zim muttered, waving his hand at him, before circling something else on the page. Dib rolled his eyes.

" What're you buying?"

" Maternity wear,"

Dib did a double take, his eyes widening then narrowing in confusion. Zim was ordering maternity wear out of a catalog that came from Irk? Irkens had companies that made maternity wear? That concept alluded the human. A military race such as the Irkens just didn't seem like the type to do such a thing. More then that, however, was the fact that the Irken Invader Zim was buying something so maternal as clothing. It was all too feminine for him. In truth, it was too feminine for an Invader of any kind. Dib couldn't even imagine Tak buying maternity clothes, let alone his own boyfriend; although, to be fair, he couldn't see Tak pregnant anyways.

" Maternity clothes? What's wrong with your human clothes?" as soon as he said it, Dib knew what the answer to that statement was going to be and he was tempted to kick himself for even asking.

" _Because_, Dib human, I am not human. I am an Irken Invader. And _I_ do not wish to wear such filthy clothing any longer,"

" Got cha," Dib was quiet for a moment, " So... Irk makes maternity clothes?"

" Yes,"

" Didn't know that,"

" Of course you didn't," Zim didn't elaborate on that insult, so Dib decided not to ask. Instead, he just sat there, holding his teddy bear, and watching as the alien filled out the order sheet with whatever it was he'd decided to buy.

" What kind of maternity clothes are you getting?"

" My uniform," he said, shutting the catalog and dropping it on the pile. Dib stared long and hard at him, " I need new uniforms, Love Slave. I can't destroy this pitiful planet in human rags,"

" So... you're not getting any cute T-shirts that say stuff or anything?"

" Why would ZIM buy such girly things?"

" I dunno... but... it'd be cute, don't you think?" Dib protested, smiling real big and hoping Zim took the hint. Those reddish pink eyes narrowed a little bit, " Don't you think so?"

" I am an Invader, _Dib_. I'm not supposed to look _cute_,"

" I always think you look cute," was what the younger boy muttered, casting a glance downward for effect. Zim's face burned red for a split second as he coughed and looked away. When he'd forced the blush back, he looked over at his obviously disappointed boyfriend and let out a defeated sigh. Dib fought back a cheer.

" Oh, alright, but only a few. And _I_ get to pick them out," he snatched up a catalog and began to flip through them, searching for shirts that wouldn't be too embarrassing to wear.

Dib grinned like an idiot next to him, hugging his bear. Although the alien wasn't aware of it, the human knew that this pregnancy was starting to soften him and making him into a more carrying boyfriend. The maternal side of this Invader was starting to show. That made his boyfriend extremely happy. Not just because that meant he probably wouldn't end up dead, but it meant Zim was accepting his future role as a mother and realizing that the military style of life wasn't going to be fitting for a tiny new smeet. Since Zim was doing this all on his own, it also meant that they didn't have to fight about it, which meant that Dib had a much higher percentage of living through this pregnancy.

" So... Zim... how're you ordering these clothes anyways? Do you know your measurements or something?"

" I measured myself this morning. What do you think I am? Stupid? Like you?" Zim snapped, filling out the rest of the order form. Dib let that one slide, placing the bear on his pillow to look at it's cuteness.

" So... how big have you gotten?" he asked, his eyes automatically dropping to his lover's large stomach. In his tight T-shirt, Dib could clearly see how large it had gotten since the alien had started showing two months beforehand. Honesty, he was surprised at how big his alien was getting, even though he'd known the whole time he was bound to get rather big.

" What do you mean by that, Dib human?" Zim's voice was harsher then it had been all morning and caused Dib to jump. He quickly looked up, only to find cold, narrowed eyes glaring at him, " Are you trying to imply something?"

" Huh? N-no, of c-course not, Zim. I would ne-"

" SILENCE!!" Zim threw the catalog down and grabbed Dib's shirt. He jerked him down to eye level and the human had to slam his hands onto the bed so as not to hurt the child, " You hesitated? _Why_?"

" Um.. Uh... well... you see... that is to say... this really isn't what it seems..."

" Are you trying to tell me something, worm?"

" Um... N-n-no?" he suggested, swallowing hard. Zim's eyes grew harder, a conclusion being drawn behind those cold slants that killed part of Dib's soul as they glared right through him. The human knew he was being picked to pieces and dissected in the brain of his boyfriend and that thought made him shudder.

" Are you calling me fat?"

The accusation made Dib choke and cough in shock and overwhelming fear. Somehow, he'd known that's what this was all about. Yet, hearing it out loud made it sound like some kind of sin. Of course, he knew as well as the next human that the one thing you didn't want your pregnant lover to think was that you thought they were fat. That just wasn't a good thing. The one who was pregnant normally thought they'd gained way too much weight and was the size of a house as soon as they started showing. At six months, with his curved stomach, Zim probably thought about his size a lot, hence the catalogs. To make such a temperamental alien think he thought he was fat was asking to get shot or dissected or worse.

" Of course not, Zim! I would never think that! Not ever!" he rushed to say, shaking his head roughly. Zim didn't look satisfied by that response, " I just told you I thought you always looked cute! I do! I do! I think you look great! Amazing! Oh, please don't kill me!"

" How dare you call ZIM fat!!"

" I DIDN'T!!! YOU DID!!"

Dib was thrown into the opposing wall with such force that he couldn't even let out a scream. He collapsed to the ground, gasping, as Zim climbed off the bed and marched over to him. The younger one tried to explain his actions and questions but couldn't because the older one kicked him roughly in the stomach. He curled up, whining, as Zim leaned over him, hands on his hips and a frown on his face. His eyes practically glowed with rage.

" How dare you call _mmeee_ fat when this is all your fault, _Dib_. You got me pregnant!" he yelled, pointing down at him. Dib nodded, trying to figure out what he could say to get him a second chance at life, since he was sure he was going to die.

Zim dropped down, straddling him like he did when they kissed. Dib groaned as that weight was pushed down on top of his sore stomach. Of course, that little noise of his only enraged his lover more, ridding the alien of any compassion he might've had. Instead, Zim started to slam his fists repeatedly into his boyfriend's face, screaming about how this was all his fault and how dare he insult an Invader of his class and status.

Dib's head felt like it was about to split when he suddenly reached out and grabbed hold of Zim's wrists. Giving him a shove backwards, he forced the alien onto the ground.

" DON'T BEAT ME, DAMMIT!!!" he roared, slamming Zim back into the floor. Those eyes widened until they were orbs again, " I didn't call you fat. You called yourself fat,"

" You were thinking it!"

" No I wasn't!" Dib snapped back, his eye twitching, " Now, I am your boyfriend. Not your punching bag. If you have an issue with your weight, lemme know. Don't just randomly beat me up for what you think in your head. That's not fair to me, okay, Zim?"

" Get your filthy human hands off me,"

" Are you listening to me at all?"

" No,"

" Well, listen! I'm here for you, but I won't take to being thrown around and punched!" Dib informed him in a sharper voice then he'd meant. Zim's eyes narrowed dramatically, but the human held his ground and kept him pinned to the ground, fighting to keep his hands on the ground, " Besides, you're pregnant, Zim. You're not fat, no matter what you think. You're showing, remember?"

" How sweet of you, worm child," Zim gave him a happy smile, before his eyes opened with such coldness that Dib shuddered, " NOW GET OFF ME!!!"

" NO!" Dib pushed down on his boyfriend's wrists. One of Zim's eyes opened all the way, " I want you to obey me, for once, Zim. I am part of this relationship and am as much in charge as you are,"

The spider legs came out and glowed with electricity right next to Dib's face. He let out a scream and bolted away from where his lover lay on the floor. Zim got to his feet and stormed over to where his human was against the wall. He slammed Dib into said wall, jerking him clear off his feet. The electricity glowed even brighter.

" You were saying, Dib human?" Zim growled out, his grip tightening on the boy's shirt and tearing through some of the cloth. Dib swallowed visibly, " That's what I thought," he dropped him onto the floor, the spider legs disappearing, " No one controls ZIM!!!"

" Ow,"

Zim gave a sharp laugh, pointing at Dib, before turning on his heel and marching back over to their bed. He gathered up the presents and the order forms and left in the elevator without so much as another word. The other boy coughed and rubbed his sore cheek, climbing to his feet and sulking over to the bed. Still sitting on the pillow was the teddy bear his alien had surprised him with. A small smile crossed his bruised face as he picked it up and fell backwards onto the sheets decorated with the Irken symbol.

Despite Zim's mood swings and spider legs and punches, Dib knew he loved him and considered his feelings valid. Why else would he have gone out of his way to purchase a teddy bear for their seven months?

" He's funny like that, I guess," Dib muttered to himself, hugging the bear. He didn't need to say it or even think about it. He'd known the Invader for over six years now. He knew very well that although the alien liked to be in charge and would kill to be so, he sometimes showed his affection, sometimes in strange and almost not there ways. The teddy bear was proof of that.

Dib snuggled with the bear, knowing that Zim loved him, maybe even more then the alien himself knew. After all, he hadn't killed him yet.

* * *

A/N- Honestly, I think that if anyone was dating Zim, they'd just have to deal with him and not expect all too much from him. He doesn't seem like the type to be all lovey-dovey or anything. Hmm... whatever.

Also, pregnant people do have mood swings. However, I think only Zim would take it so far as to beat his lover. Most of that was anger at the whole 'it's your fault I'm pregnant' issue they never actually resolved. And yes, people have pregnant sex all the time. Actually, rumor has it, it's supposed to help with the labor because it helps open a woman up down there or something to that degree. However, as they're both boys, having pregnant sex might get a little tricky, so I just gave them a different reason as to why they aren't banging each others brains out. If I figure something out, though, be prepared to read preggo sex... which is a big possibility now that I think about it... but don't worry, it'll still be smexi hot and everything.

And in case you're wondering where Gir is, let's just say he's bothering the hell out of Gaz and Tak. In truth, I just didn't know how to fit him into the last few chapters, so I kinda just left him out, allowing the reader to devise a place for him to be doing his weird, usual antics. So, there you go.

Side note- I kinda just realized an interesting 'fact' about the Invader Zim show. Did you know that 'to irk' is to annoy someone? And the aliens are from Irk and are Irken? It's kinda like saying that Zim's annoying because of his species or something. Just thought I'd inform the masses of that tidbit of info.

That's all. Love Sai-Chan.


	10. Chapter 10

By the time next week rolled around, the boxes with the maternity clothes arrived and were signed for. Then Zim donned his usual uniform and shoved the human cloths into Dib's hands. Although he was supposed to dispose of them, he just packed them away in a closet he hadn't known was in the bedroom, just in case he'd be able to con the Invader into wearing them one day down the line; probably way, way down the line. With that all said and done, the two found that it was Monday morning and they were going to be late for school if they didn't hurry.

" You really need a new alarm clock, you know that!" Dib shouted as they grabbed all their stuff and left the labs. Zim just gave him a harsh look, " It always makes us late, you know,"

" We're not late,"

" We will be,"

" Shut up, Love Slave," was the only response he got as the doors opened and they stepped out into the kitchen. Gir waved energetically from where he was sitting in a puddle of batter on the table, " GIR! What did you do!"

" I made cake, Master!"

" Well... where's the cake?"

"... I dunno..." Gir said, looking vacantly out at the two of them. Dib covered his face, moaning, and left the kitchen. Zim, on the other hand, marched over to the fridge and grabbed an apple, " TACOOOOS!!! We need tacos, Master! They'll make you happy!"

" I'm not sad,"

" Can I feel the baby? Huh, huh, huh?" he grabbed Zim's face and squished his cheeks as he said it. The alien's eyes narrowed as he shoved the robot off of him.

" No, _Gir. _I need to get going. Guard the house," he ordered, leaving the kitchen and walking past Dib, who was sitting on the couch with a blank look on his face, " COME, we go to school!"

Dib followed him out the door without a word about how weird that conversation between alien and robot had been. They started to walk hand and hand to school, Zim munching away on his apple for the smeet's sake. As they rounded the corner to the red building, the bell rang and people began to rush inside, yelling to each other. However, waiting outside for them were Gaz, playing her usual game, and Tak, who looked annoyed.

" Hey there, Gaz... um... Tak," Dib greeted the girls, slowly to a stop. Gaz didn't answer and the female alien only nodded. The four headed inside the high school, ignoring the fact that the late bell had just rung.

" How's the pregnancy, Zim?" Tak questioned, eyeing his stomach as though mildly interested. She was trying to crush the side of her that desperately wanted to rub his belly and ask if she could listen to the smeet's heartbeat. She'd had to crush that side of her religiously ever since she'd found out he was expecting yet it still wasn't any easier.

" Fine,"

" I see you got maternity clothes,"

" Sure did,"

" Um... have you spoken to our Tallest lately?" she changed the topic before she slipped and asked to feel his curve. He shook his head, " Have you called them?"

" Not recently. _Why_?"

" Just wondering. Don't get defensive, Zim. I don't want your job anymore," she hissed, narrowing her eyes at him. He did the same. A second pasted and then she turned away and coughed lightly, " Have you picked out the colors for the smeet's nursery?"

" Nursery?" he repeated, stopping at his locker for a book. He shoved it into Dib's arms without asking, but his boyfriend didn't complain, " What nursery do you speak of, _Tak_?"

" For the smeet! Where it'll sleep and you'll keep it's toys!" she exclaimed, clenching her hands next to her as they marched to class. He gave her a look, then nodded understandably, " Have you picked out the colors yet?"

" The same as the rest of the Base,"

" Oh... okay," Tak grew quiet for a minute, not sure what she should say next. Behind the Invaders, the siblings had their heads together as they argued over what weapons Gaz should be using on the level she was on. Tak knew she wasn't going to get any help from Dib, " Have you started building the nursery yet?"

" No,"

" Why not?"

" Do not doubt the mastermind that is ZIM!!!" he declared, finishing his apple and tossing it in the trash. She shook her head, " We will have the most amazing, perfect nursery constructed by the time the smeet arrives,"

" I'm sure you will,"

" But of course. I am ZIMMM!" he said, coming to a stop in front of their classroom, which, surprisingly, was still number 13.

They all stopped there, for some reason. Gaz finished up her level and saved, putting the game up. Dib waited patiently for his lover to decide it was time to step foot in the classroom in his uniform for the first time in a long while. Tak stood there, trying to say something besides what she wanted to ask. After a minute, though, Gaz announced that she needed to get to her classroom and kissed her girl on the lips.

" Before I go... Zim, can I feel your belly?" she asked, reaching out. Dib and Tak both stared in shock. The alien waved her off, giving her permission. Gaz laid her hand on his stomach, one of her eyes opening slightly, " Cool. It's moving,"

" C-c-can I feel the smeet as well?" Tak stuttered out, kicking herself in her mind. Zim waved her off too and she put a hand on the side of his large stomach. Inside him, she could feel movement and suddenly her face flushed red uncontrollably, her female side rearing to life, " Awwww..."

" Yes, yes, bow down to the power of my smeet," he commanded, giving a laugh. Both girls cooed over him and his smeet for a second, then Gaz said she had to go again and she walked off in a different direction.

Once she was gone, the three stepped inside their classroom. Ms. Bitters' chalk scrapped along the board for a second before she twisted around and narrowed her eyes at the three late students. They all claimed, at the same time, that they'd been caught up because the child was moving and they were sorry for being late. She growled, then pointed wordlessly at their seats. They hurried over and sat down.

" The child moved? Oh, I wanna feel!" Zita exclaimed, his eyes lighting up with joy. Several other kids echoed her cries, interrupting what their teacher was writing on the board, " Can I feel! Can I, Zim?!"

" Let us, Zim! You're the only person in the class who's pregnant!" Brian reminded him, leaning over in his seat.

" Quiet, children!" Ms. Bitters hissed, suddenly leering over Zim, who drew away from her on instinct, " _Zim_, as you _are_ the only person in the class who's pregnant, share with the class and let them feel your belly. _Now_," she pointed to the front of the classroom.

" But, Ms. Bitters," both Dib and Zim tried to protest, but she jabbed her finger at the front of the room again. Moaning, the alien got to his feet and marched up to the front.

" Now children, in single file, go up and rub _Zim's_ stomach," she instructed, sounding normal once more. Cheering, the kids hurried to form a line. They began to go up and touch Zim's curved belly as he groaned and kept his hands on his lower back. Dib watched, chewing on his pencil, knowing full well that his boyfriend had an issue with physical contact, especially when it came to humans. When they finished, Zim was twitching violently, " Now have a seat, _Zim_,"

" Yes, Ms. Bitters," he muttered, going back to his seat and sinking down in it. Dib rubbed his shoulder in a comforting sort of way. For a second, then, Zim zoned out and a wicked smile appeared on his face. Dib pushed his finger between Zim's orb like false human eyes, drawing the alien out of his daydream.

" You're not using your pregnancy to enslave the human race, got it?"

" I wouldn't _dream_ of it, Dib human," Zim lied, turning away from him. Dib didn't answer, but mostly only because Ms. Bitters gave the two an evil glare for daring to whisper 'sweet nothings' in the middle of her classroom. They hushed up, glancing at each other and slightly smiling.

* * *

Halfway through Ms. Bitters' class, however, Zim started to feel miserable. His stomach started to hurt, so he lowered his head onto his desk as she lectured on and on about something. Then, without warning, pain shot through him. He recognized this pain as Braxton-Hicks, but couldn't help feel immensely worried. The slit had formed, after all, so the pains could very well of been a miscarriage. Still, he knew it was Braxton-Hicks and that calmed him considerably.

Though, him being calm didn't help the pain. He hugged his belly, squeezing his eyes shut and letting out a low moan. The entire class shut up and all eyes turned to him as he curled up the best he could at his desk. Dib's eyes grew wide behind his glasses, his pencil dropping to the floor in shock. Ms. Bitters voice cut as she turned towards the source of her interruption.

" _Zim_, why are you moaning?" she demanded, once again suddenly in front of him. He opened one eye and tried to say something, but could only whine.

" Ms. Bitters!" Dib shouted unnecessarily, as she was right next to him. She gave him a hard stare, " I think Zim's suffering from Braxton-Hicks again. Can we be excused?"

" Is it bad?" she questioned Zim, who could only whimper, " Fine. You two are excused for the rest of the day. Here's your pass," she held up a note, which had appeared out of thin air, and Dib snatched it from her. He helped Zim to his feet, steadying him carefully.

" Is the sm- er-child okay?" Tak whispered as they walked past her. Dib gave her a thumbs up, pushing open the door and leading his boyfriend outside it.

The door swung shut and Zim slumped to the floor, leaning against the wall. He shook his head when Dib tried to get him to move, curling up into a little ball. All the human could do for a moment was stare in horror at his love's pain. Then, he searched his pockets and found his computer. He pulled it out, switched it on, and contacted Gir, who turned red for a split second.

" Gir, I need you to cloak the voot cruiser and take it to the high school, understand?" Dib demanded, trying to sound serious instead of worried. Gir saluted him and the computer screen went blank, " Come on, Zim. We just need to get outside,"

Zim ignored him, it seemed, and just silently cried tearless cries. Knowing that they needed to get to the front steps, Dib did something he knew Zim would more then likely kill him for later. He scooped him up princess style (or bridal style) and carried him outside. He couldn't exactly say it was an easy task, as his boyfriend had gotten quite heavy in the past few months. However, he managed and stumbled out front, wondering how he was going to recognize the cruiser.

" Dumb question," he mumbled to himself, spotting the giant pig. Praying that Gir had brought the actual cruiser and not just the cruiser carrier, Dib hurried over as best he could.

" Hiya, Master!" Gir greeted him, waving rapidly as the top opened. Thankfully, it was the real cruiser. Zim moaned, opening one eye to see his robot undisguised in broad daylight. A different kind of moan escaped his mouth, " I brought Mimi!"

" Mimi?" Dib repeated, placing his boyfriend inside the cruiser, " Another dumb question," he scolded himself, pulling himself into the voot cruiser as he saw the tied up cat/robot in back.

Ignoring whatever else the robot said, Dib shut the screen to the cruiser and focused on the controls. Having been flying Tak's old ship for several years, seeing the control panel brought back the instructions all over again. He pushed certain buttons and in no time they were soaring away from the high school and back to the strange house they all, save for Mimi, called home. Once there, Dib landed the cruiser inside and opened the glass.

" We're home, Zim. Feeling any better?" he questioned, pushing his hand onto his boyfriend's forehead and wondering if that was an accurate way to check an Irken's health.

" Y-yes... I think so..."

" Then spill," the younger boy's eyes narrowed, looking down at his curled up lover. Zim gave him a weird look, as though asking him what he was talking about, " I don't think it's normal for Braxton-Hicks to be this severe. Is there something you're not telling me?"

" Of course not D-"

" Spare me and just tell the truth, Zim,"

" The truth is..." Zim grew quiet, rubbing the sides of his still aching belly. His boyfriend waited, motioning for him to go on, " Irkens decided to use technology for reproduction purposes because our pregnancies are often coupled with... rather painful false labor pains... Braxton-Hicks, if you will... I didn't want to worry you, so I said nothing about it... I didn't know... it'd be this bad..."

" Why am I not surprised?" Dib said, rubbing his temples in frustration. His lover said nothing. He just stared at him with those false eyes, " Lemme help you down to the bedroom. You should rest,"

" You're not going to whine and complain that I lied to you? What is this?"

" I don't have to whine and complain. You're going to call your Tallest tomorrow and ask them for assistance with the pain," he said, in a very sure voice. Zim opened his mouth to protest, then thought better of it, and let his boyfriend take him down to the bedroom they shared.

" You have to help me construct a nursery, then, Love Slave,"

" I knew that was coming," Dib helped Zim into the bed and kissed him gently on the cheek as his boyfriend removed the wig and fake eyes.

Then their lips touched and they stayed there for a moment, wrapped in the warmth of each other and the darkness of their bedroom. Dib's hands moved to Zim's shoulders and stayed there, rubbing back and forth on his lover's tense muscles. Zim kept his hands on his round belly, but he didn't need to touch Dib at this point for them to feel as though every inch of their beings were touching the other. They were one soul as soon as their tongues slipped into each other's mouth and began to caress the other's tongue.

Dib pushed Zim back against the pillows, using more force then before. He saw those orbs close and his did as well. Utter and complete darkness swallowed them up and rolled them together, the two of them and their smeet, in a moment of love and passion. Dib's hands found Zim's and they stayed there on top of their smeet, gently pushing down to feel the innocent life inside of the alien move happily as it's parents engaged in love. Smiles formed through the kiss and Dib lowered his mouth to Zim's neck. He kissed his way down, using one hand to tug down the shoulder of his boyfriend's uniform and exposing a line of green skin. His lips brushed against it.

Zim let out a gasp, a hand reaching up and gripping his lover's loose T-shirt. His body quivered under those air light kisses, a smile on his red face. He felt tongue flicker across his skin and he let out a moan of pleasure, his claws cutting a little of the cloth. His breathing grew quicker as the kisses got harder and then he couldn't breathe when he felt just a slight nip of teeth.

The younger boy found the older's collar bone as he eased the clothes off. He ran his tongue along it's length and then up to his alien's other shoulder. He bit down playfully, not hard enough to draw blood. Zim's hand pulled his shirt lower and he grinned at the idea of making his dominant Invader gasp out for air. He relished the idea, in fact, and licked his lover's neck. He got a whine out of him. He rubbed the arms of his sweetheart, moving his hands away from said sweetheart's stomach. He gripped the arms tightly, finding Zim's mouth in the dark and plunging his tongue deep inside.

They stayed like that for a minute, drinking the other down and lightly biting on the other's lower and upper lips. Their tongues explored their lover's mouth, as though it hadn't a thousand times beforehand. Then, Dib slowly drew away and kissed Zim on the forehead as they both took in deep breaths.

" Get some sleep, okay, Zim?" he whispered, pinching the alien's cheek. Zim waved him off, smiling kindly up at him, " Don't get out of this bed until I come get you for lunch, okay?"

" Only because I feel like it, Love Slave. Not because you told me to," he answered, snuggling up with Dib's teddy bear as he was tucked into bed. Dib rolled his eyes and laid a tender kiss on his cheek.

" Whatever you say," he walked over to the elevator and waved good bye. He got a one finger good bye wave before the doors shut and he was taken up to the kitchen, " He's so damn arrogant," the doors opened and he saw Gir mixing batter in his head as Mimi fought to get loose and go back home. Dib hit the button on the door and it shut and took him to the labs instead as he sighed and rubbed his temples again.

* * *

I thought it was about time for them to have another make out scene. Hope you all enjoyed it. Oh, and yeah, I felt like giving Dib a hero's moment, hence the new Irken preggo problem. Ah well. I couldn't help it.

And look! I included every member of the cast except Professor Membrane. Aren't I special? Hahaha... yeah... whatever.

That's all. Love Sai-Chan.


	11. Chapter 11

A/– Sorry for the long, long wait. I've been busy with school, work, and community service. I'm working as fast as I can to get stories out. Forgive me.

Enjoy. Love, Sai-Chan

* * *

Dib stared at all the things his boyfriend had bought for the nursery he was 'helping' to put together. As it turned out, Zim had already created the room by the time day broke the next day. When he'd done that, or when he'd bought all the things going into it, completely alluded the human. However, there was a pile seven feet high outside the elevator that led to the labs by the time he came down from breakfast. Judging by the fact that it was waiting literally outside the elevator, he figured the alien meant for him to 'help' with the nursery by moving everything into the room.

Sighing loudly, he inched around the pile and walked over to where his said alien was sitting at the computer. Those orb like eyes were narrowed at the screen, one of his fingers punching down on the same button several thousand times in a second. For a second, Dib considered doubling back and pretending he had just decided to complete the task that'd been placed before him. Unfortunately, he breathed and two antennae shot up.

" DIB HUMAN!!!" Zim's voice carried throughout the lab and caused his lover to jump a couple feet off the ground, " Come here. I have a job for you,"

" Would it have anything to do with that stack of boxes by the elevator?" Dib questioned, walking over and acting as if he wasn't nervous. He was given a look, but not an answer.

" YOU need to take THIS over to the back computer and plug it in the flux drive and press the drive button. I need the data downloaded into the mainframe, the brain, and on this disk," he held up two disks, one with the Irken stamp on it, " Then YOU will report back here with the disk,"

" Can't you do it yourself?"

" DO IT NOW AND DO NOT QUESTION ZIIIMMMM!!!" he roared, shoving the disks into Dib's chest. He then jabbed his finger in the general direction of what Dib took to be the back computer.

Not knowing what else to do, the younger boy left and headed into the depths of the lab. He wasn't sure why Zim was sending him to do what was so clearly an Invader's job. Sometimes he thought the alien's uniform was cutting off the air's pathway to his brain and was thus causing brain damage. Then there were times when he remembered that Zim was just insane by nature and wondered who he could kill for bringing such a freak into existence; he knew he wasn't alone on that one. And then there were times when he grinned too big for his face like right then as he came to a stop in front of the back computer with it's many, many controls and switches and buttons.

The back computer was in a section of the lab where everything looked squished together. There was just barely enough room for Dib to navigate his way over to the control system. It was obvious that the only reason he'd been told to do this was because Zim knew he didn't fit back there anymore because his belly was much too big nowadays.

Even though the two had just recently 'fought' about weight, Dib couldn't help but snicker as he pushed one of the disks into the drive and did as he'd been told. After knowing Zim for six years, he understood certain things about Irken technology and could guess his way through simple instructions like the ones his beloved gave out. So, figuring he'd done correctly when he didn't hear his name being shouted, he left the back computer with the disks, still chuckling to himself.

" Here you go," he said, forcing back the smile on his face. Zim snatched the offered disks out of his hand, " Have you called the Tallest yet?"

" No,"

" Think you ought to? Since you promised?"

" I'll get around to it. Eventually," he turned away from his computer, " Why aren't those boxes in the nursery, Love Slave?" his eyes narrowed suddenly and Dib shuddered on reaction.

" Um... well... I was at the back computer an-"

" SILENCE!!!" Zim shouted over him, smacking him across the face. Dib stared in absolute shock, but his boyfriend didn't even seem to notice, " ZIM doesn't want to hear your pitiful stink beast excuses! YOU have a JOB to do! YO-"

" Did you just smack me?" Dib interrupted, rubbing his face. Zim looked like he'd been stabbed in the back for a split second before he blinked a couple of times, " You just smacked me!" he snapped, almost sounding angry about it.

" I... suppose I did," the alien said, glancing down at his hand as though he hadn't even realized what he'd done. For a moment, all was quiet, " Where was I? Oh yes. YOU have a JOB to do. Now go and do it, Dib Human!"

" You smacked me,"

" I hit you all the time. What's your point?"

" _You_ smacked _me_,"

" I don't have time for this, thing of humannessness. Go. Now," he waved his hand indifferently, going back to what he'd been doing before.

At first, Dib didn't leave. Then he sensed hostility when he spied a sharply narrowed eye moving toward his direction. Without another word, he bolted from the scene and made his way back to the pile of smeet things. He was still a little stunned about the smack, although he wasn't too sure as to why. He knew dwelling on it would only result in agony later, probably by questioning his lover, but he couldn't help it. As soon as he got away from Zim, his brain started rushing around, desperate to figure out why that one smack had fazed him more then any of the others.

It definitely wasn't the only time he'd ever been hit. Zim was a violent person, as he was a soldier. That was just something that couldn't be gotten rid of from his personality. He got mad, he hit people. It was just that simple. If he didn't hit them, he used his spider legs to attack. He did, after all, have a collection of highly destructive weapons for the sake of having them. If he was any more of an Invader, he'd just start shooting people dead where they stood; not that Dib was going to highlight that possibility. So, it wasn't that fact that he'd gotten hit that surprised him.

That's when it dawned on him. Zim hadn't been mad when he'd smacked him. Sure, he'd yelled, but the alien yelled for no reason all the time. That wasn't the first time he'd been hit, but it had been the first time he'd been hit when his beloved wasn't mad at him for some reason or another.

Upon realizing that, he left the pile and marched over to where the other was still in front of his computer. Irken flew up it as Zim punched key after key, performing some operation. He stopped when he heard footsteps. When he turned his head, he was met with two very narrowed eyes behind glasses. Surprisingly, he jumped and drew away, almost into a fighting position as Dib pushed his finger into his chest.

" Do you really love me, _Zim_?" he blurted out, voice vicious and cold like it had been when they were kids and he'd addressed his then rival. Zim's eyes widened until they consumed his face, " Do you really love me or am I only here because I got you pregnant?"

" Don't be ridiculous, Dib human," Zim said, laughing and waving him off, " Of course I love you,"

" Then why did you smack me?"

" Because you annoy me with your laziness," he stated firmly, hands on his curved hips, " You stupid humans know nothing about hard work. Just sit there and stare at screen full of idiotic shows like that _horrible_ monkey an-"

" Wait. So you were mad at me?"

" Yes but I don't see wh-"

" You didn't just hit me out of the blue for no reason?"

" What? No. I d-"

" Then it's okay," Dib happily exclaimed, suddenly smiling brightly. Zim gave him his signature look, clearly bewildered by the flip-flopping moods his lover was expressing, " That's all. Thanks, Zim," he kissed him on the cheek with a pop and left to go work on the nursery. As he did, he thought he caught a faint mumble of 'humans' before the clicking of the computer started up again.

* * *

Although moving the boxes from their original position to the nursery right next door to their bedroom wasn't exactly difficult, it was time consuming. By the time he was done, in fact, a couple of hours had passed and his stomach was pained for food. Figuring Zim could live with the job he'd managed to do, Dib left the nursery and headed up to the kitchen. He had a few problems getting around Gir, who was making popcorn for a movie he tried to get the human to watch with him, but he eventually made a sandwich. Munching on it, he went back down to the labs and over to the computer where his lover was still typing away.

" You work too much, you know that, Zim?" he teased, laying a kiss on his cheek. The older boy ignored the comment, " Did you call the Tallest yet?"

" No,"

" You've had hours! Why haven't you!"

" I've been busy. ZIM'S work is never done!" he declared in a dramatic voice, though it wasn't necessary. Dib sighed and one of the antennae twitched visibly.

" You said you'd call them. Now call them and ask them to send you some medicine or whatever for the pain," Dib instructed, fully aware that he could get killed for ordering his lover to do anything.

Instead of getting shot, however, Zim just gritted his teeth and shut down the various screens he'd been working on for hours. It took a second for it to register that he'd won the fight and when it did, Dib did a little jig inside his head, though he dare not do it on the outside. While he did, his alien lover tapped into the intercom system and the screen went black for a moment. Then there was a clicking sound and an Irken symbol came up, saying 'Please stay on the line as you are patched into our Tallests computers, Invader'. Dib arched an eyebrow, his dance stopping at the sheer peculiarity of the situation. After a moment, a dial up symbol appeared, followed by the Irken leaders appearing on the screen.

" My Tallest, Invader Zim reporting," he said stiffly, saluting the two as they looked curiously at the monitor. Dib weakly saluted them as well, wondering if that was correct or not.

" Um... didn't we put you on maternity leave a couple months ago?" Red asked as Purple blinked and covered his mouth with silent giggles.

" Yes," was Zim's response. There was a rather lengthy pause in which the human waited for the alien to ask for assistance, " I just wanted to inform you that despite the pregnancy, ZIM shall not fail you! And all is fine with the smeet,"

" That's wond-"

" What'd you mean 'all is fine', Zim!?! Tell them!" Dib interrupted, shaking his lover roughly. Those orbs narrowed dangerously, his hands curling up into fists. Red and Purple exchanged glances, shrugging, " Do it. You promised,"

" Don't embarrass me, stink beast," he muttered, pushing him off and turning back to his leaders, " My Tallest!" he stood straight again. They looked down at him with mild interest, " I... er... do not need assistance, as I am an Invader! However... I was just wondering if, maybe, it would be possible for me to, maybe, get some medicine for the er pain and everything," he waved it off as though it were nothing, placing a hand on the side of his curved belly.

At once, Purple burst out in laughter, pointing and covering his face. Red gave him a rude look, shaking his head. Dib twitched. His anger was starting to come back, the same anger he'd been feeling for the last few years whenever someone made fun of his beloved. Of course, said beloved was completely unaffected by Purple's reaction. He just stood there obediently.

" Why.. Um... yes, yes, surely that wouldn't be- stop laughing- a problem," Red assured the two, punching his counterpart in the arm. Purple tried to say he was sorry, but couldn't manage it, " Right away, Zim. Anything else?"

" Nothing except to inform My Tallest that all goes well with my mission,"

" Mission?" Dib repeated, looking thoroughly annoyed. Zim's eyes turned to slits in a hurry, " You're on maternity leave. You shouldn't have a mission anymore. I thought the only thing you were doing was research and shit like that," his voice was stern, carefully so. It didn't take a genius to figure out that he was starting to suspect something.

" Don't be silly, Love Slave. That's all I'm doing," he patted Dib's cheek almost insultingly. Red gave the two a look, Purple took in deep breaths.

" Anything else you need, Zim?" Red questioned. He really didn't want to be on the line if something was going to go wrong with the happy mixed couple. Zim exclaimed that there was nothing, saluting him, and Purple, once more, " Um... call if you need anything. We'll send the medicine. And... you look great,"

" Thank you, My Tallest!"

" Y-yeah," Purple choked out, standing up straight. He snorted again but the transmission ended suddenly before those on Earth could find out if he began laughing again.

" There you go, Dib human. Now, if you please, get out of my labs," Zim's voice had gone harsh as it did when he addressed the younger boy, " I am off to the BEDROOM for a nap. GOOD NIGHT, Slave," he pecked Dib on the cheek innocently and marched off, his antennae bouncing.

The human watched him leave, rubbing his face, before deciding to turn in as well. He followed Zim into the bedroom, clicking off the lights to the labs. The alien didn't acknowledge him as they climbed into bed and curled up at about five o clock at night for bed. They snuggled a little, enjoying the warmth coming from the other's body. Dib actually started to caress his lover's shoulders and ease down to start what he figured would be a passionate kissing fest. His dreams were crushed, however, when Zim slammed his hand into Dib's face.

" I'm not in the mood," was all he said in a sleepy voice, awkwardly rolling over and away from his boyfriend.

" O-kay... you coulda told me that sooner..." it was no use, though, because the older was already sound asleep. Dib twitched, sighed, and flopped back against the sheets, submitting to the exhaustion he felt from the nursery.

* * *

A finger poked Dib hard in the forehead. His eyes cracked open but all he could see was foggy darkness. Figuring his dreams were getting wilder due to all the alien exposure, he closed his eyes. His forehead was jabbed again and he roughly sat up in shock. He found himself staring at two nearly glowing reddish pink orbs seemingly floating in the blurred dimness of the bedroom. He fumbled for his glasses and then shoved them up the bridge of his nose. Zim was looking at him, annoyed in so many ways it clearly showed on his frowning face. That face made the human's voice catch in his throat, but he dryly managed to ask what was the matter.

" ZIM craves ice cream," he sharply stated, pointing towards the door, " Go fetch me some from the kitchen,"

" Excuse me?" the younger glared, " You woke me up to get you ice cream?"

" Yes. Isn't that clear?"

" Get it yourself," Dib snapped, dropping down on the bed and rolling over. He felt heat and the room was cast in the light blue light of the power of the spider legs. Dib's eyes grew wide as he saw the shadow of his lover moving closer to him, " OKAY!!! JUST DON'T SHOOT ME!!!"

" Strawberry, got it?" Zim said happily as the spider legs disappeared back into the pak. Dib shuddered, bolting into the elevator, " AND THERE HAD BETTER BE SPRINKLES OR ELSE, HUMAN!!!"

The doors shut and the elevator rose up to the upper floor. Dib slumped against the wall, moaning and rubbing his temples. This was exactly what he needed. Everything was going crazy, with the intense Braxton-Hicks and Skool and the pregnancy, so of course cravings would kick in. The last thing he wanted was for Invader Zim of all Irkens to start desiring strange things at strange times. He just knew he'd end up in a situation when he couldn't get the food and end up dead. He just knew it was coming.

" I knew this would be the death of me," he mumbled as the doors opened and he stepped in. Gir wasn't there, which was a blessing in disguise, " We better have sprinkles or I'm committing suicide now,"

* * *

Yay! The chapters finally done. It seems a lot longer then my usual chapters for this story. Ah well.

Next chapter, you find out the gender of the smeet! Oh yay!

That's all. Sai-Chan.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N- Raise your hand if you think I should get shot for taking so long to post this chapter? (Raises hand). Yeah........ sorry. A lot of things have happened... loss of inspiration, the writing and editing of two books set for publication (hopefully by May), two new jobs, graduating high school, starting college, moving out, a car crash, and much, much more. At long last, though, I am finishing my most read story. Luckily for all of you, I wrote out a plan months ago on what I wanted to happen, so no worries.

Thus, after one year, eight months, and seventeen days, I finally update!!! This is for everyone who's faithfully stood by this story.

Enjoy. Love, Sai-Chan.

* * *

Dib's back was killing him, his feet hurt, and he hadn't slept much in the last few weeks. Ever since Zim had started having cravings, the human had been kept up almost all night long, fetching food for his dangerous lover. Should he refuse, he'd be shot or strangled, so it was do it or die. Aside from that, he'd had to set up the entire nursery without the help of his ever increasingly absentminded boyfriend. With it finally set up, however, he was dying for a nice long nap down in the bedroom. Gir was out, somewhere, doing something, and Zim was more then likely in the lab continuing his research. Thus, he yawned and stretched as the pantry elevator buzzed open and the fully lit bedroom came into focus.

Zim was curled up on the bed, flipping aimlessly through a magazine without a single English character in it. His antenna shot up when the door opened. The human froze on instinct as those sharp, heartless orbs stared straight into his soul and right back out. In that one, single glare, he was sized up and wordlessly declared worthless. He knew this when those antenna relaxed and the alien took his heavy stare off him. Dubbing that as a good sign, he stepped inside and wearily made his way over to the ever inviting bed. Nothing was said. Breathing a sigh of relief, he slipped off his glasses and collapsed onto the sheets. His body was consumed by how pleasing the soft fabric and fluffy mattress felt on his strained muscles. Thus, he smiled and moved to grab his pillow.

" _Dib_," that cold voice cut through the air like hail shattered glass. The human shuddered from head to toe, moaning silently, as his foggy vision picked up pink eyes glancing in his direction. He had no choice. He'd been 'spotted'.

" Yes, _Zim_, dear?" he bitterly spat out, pulling his glasses on with enough force to hurt his nose. The circles plunged into slits, a frown sweeping over that pale green face. At once, he knew he was in for it. Tension poured into his already tense back as he meekly smiled, " Um, that is to say..."

" That is to say, _what_, exactly, filthy human boy?!" Zim barked, throwing the magazine into the floor. The sound echoed off the still air as Dib swallowed and laughed, " What's funny? Well?! Why're you laughing, human?! Is disobedience funny to your disgusting, vile, inferior species?! ANSWER ME!!!" a finger was thrust into his forehead.

" Ow....Zim, calm do-"

" DON'T YOU TELL THE ALMIGHTY ZIIIM WHAT TO DO, WORM BABY!!" Zim roared, slamming his lover to the bed. Dib gasped out as the fire lighting up those eyes nearly leapt up and burned his flesh, " Do you have any idea what I was going to ask? No! You jumped to conclusions and Zim is tired of your tone! You will speak to me as your master, Love Slave, or else, _Dib_!! Is that clear?"

" Sure.... um.... baby...."

" DO NOT CALL ME THAT!!! RESPECT ME, DAMMIT, YOU ANNOYING LITTLE COCKROACH!!! GET AWAY FROM ME!!! YOU'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!" the alien shrieked, flipping Dib onto the floor with two flicks of his wrists. A scream echoed out in the room as his face smacked into the metal flooring, his body skidding to a stop and flopping over itself.

" No.... I'm pretty sure.... you were crazy when I met you...." Dib mumbled into the ground as he shivered from agony. Slowly, he jerked himself up and hesitantly turned to face his one and only. Zim sat there, staring at him with bored and frustrated eyes. His gloved hands were folded over his curved stomach, his slender legs tucked up underneath him. The position just told Dib that the older boy didn't want to be approached, " Um... are you feeling okay? This doesn't feel like... the normal insanity... or mood swings...."

" I'm fine, Dib,"

" Zim, if you were 'fine' you wouldn't be here on Earth. You'd be on Irk, blowing shit up, pardon my French," he reminded him, dusting his shirt off. One eye narrowed.

" Enh?"

" Never mind. Just another human phrase you've never heard of. Like 'knock on wood' and whatnot," he assured him, standing up and cracking his spine back in place. Zim nonchalantly nodded, a finger rubbing one of his antennas in a manner the human had never seen.

He knew Zim was known to grab them when seriously stressed out. Yet, he'd never seen him just randomly touch them. As far as he'd always been concerned, those black things were not to be touched by Irken or human. Seeing him feeling them, however, made his mind jump back to the way his lover grabbed them. Surely, he thought, he was witnessing one of Zim's 'fidgets' from when he was stressed or bored. Tilting his head, he found himself unable to stop staring at that gloved digit running along that antenna. Coughing to the side, he pointed at the object of his attention.

" Is something on your mind or is that just one of your nervous habits?" he questioned as Zim froze over as he often did when caught. Glancing between his hand and his human lover, he quickly let go and gave a shaky laugh. Dib knew what was coming before the other ever opened his mouth.

" This?! Oh, no, no, no, silly human. Zim is not.. Nervous.... I'm just.... bored, is all. Ha ha ha... something on my mind... of course not!" he teased in a sort of forced sarcasm that made Dib arch an eyebrow. The alien gave him a happy smile that could've fooled just about anyone. Of course, this particular boy wasn't just anyone.

" Zim.... didn't we talk about lying already? You said you'd tell me if something was wrong.... so... what's wrong?" he tried a different angle, hoping he could guilt trip the guiltless. Immediately, he knew his attempt had just rebounded off Zim's perfect shield of self confidence, ignorance, and arrogance. The older gave another false laugh and waved off the very idea without even bothering make up an excuse, " Are you sure nothing's wrong?"

" There'll be something wrong with your face if you ask me that one more time, _Dib_," Zim hissed through a clenched smile. Knowing that tone and recalling those spider legs, he backed off. He knew he could do no good if his love executed him for something as stupid as a question. Rather, he cleared his throat, and motioned to the bed.

" Um... did you need something or is it alright for me to get some shut eye? I mean, I've been up for days working on the nursery and everything, so... could I maybe get in so-" his voice cut as Zim held up one finger. He was being told to shut up and he knew it. A twitch of frustration ran over the human's body, but he fought with himself not to say anything stupid.

" As a matter of fact, there is something I need you to do. Take this money," Zim handed him twenty dollars. Dib blinked, having no idea where his boyfriend could've gotten it, " And get Zim some tacos and waffles,"

" Are you kidding me?! Zim, I am not your errand boy! Get them yourself! You're the one with the voot cruiser," Dib threw the money onto the bed and snatched the sheets up. He meant to lay down when he heard a chuckle of laughter behind him. Blue light surrounded him as heat pounded over his flesh. Looking over his shoulder, he saw Zim's face twisted in that wicked smile, his spider legs out and glowing.

" That wasn't a request, Dib. That was an order."

* * *

As soon as Dib was gone, Zim tossed the magazine to the floor and high tailed it into the lab. The screens began to pop up and he settled into his plush chair at his central command station. He'd bought himself some time until the human returned home, seeing how Dib had to walk to the store and everything. With him gone, though, he could move into the next phase of his plan. Thus, his hands started to punch in commands as the symbols began to flash before his eyes. Down below in the base, the robots were half way done with the space station. In the next month, he would be able to launch it. Now came one of the trickier parts. The laser itself. He had to get that thing into space today, so he could begin testing it's power on nearby planets. He already had a station to remove it; a remake of the water balloon station.

If he was going to wipe the humans literally off the face of the Earth, then he was going to make sure the beam was deadly enough. All the designs said it would be. However, he was an Invader. He wasn't going to take any chances. Those calculations had been done early in the morning while he was pregnant. Not even Zim was going to fool himself into thinking they were dead accurate. He had to do a couple test runs on that baby first. That, of course, required getting it into space so he could safely test it. To do that, he needed Dib out of the house. Although it had taken a fight over something so trivial he could barely recall what it'd been about, he convinced him to leave. He'd nearly gotten caught, though, with that nervous twitch of his.

" Stupid Dib human... have to notice _everything_ I do, don't you?" he hissed to his monitors as he began downloading the commands to launch the station that would transport the death ray into space. His pink eyes narrowed a the mental image of Dib pointing out his antenna grabbing habit, " Stupid worm baby... always in my space... urgh... damn him... damn him all to hell... he better stay away if he knows what's good for him..."

He growled this as he switched to the next screen. There were bars and graphs and everything dealing with the efficiency of the robots. None of them needed to be repaired yet, he thought smugly. Next there was the chart on his smeet, which he checked mostly out of habit. The medicine from the Tallest had already arrived, although he wasn't sure if he'd told Dib or not; to get him off his back. It was getting harder to remember things like that. Sighing, he watched the screens tell him that everything was technically alright with the smeet inside him. As he looked on, though, he felt his hands resting on his large stomach.

Three months beforehand, he had been devastated to even learn he was carrying life. Now, he was attempting to create the perfect world in which to raise his child like any dotting mother. He was eliminating the problem: Earth. He wanted to go back to that feeling he'd had when his mission hadn't been consuming his attention. He wanted to go back to that simple moment, in Dib's arms. He had no intention of telling his lover that, of course, because that would just spoil everything. They were on polar opposite sides of the spectrum when it came to their true feelings about the universe. Dib was a human, brought up to believe his planet was home. Zim was an Irken Invader, programmed to know his race was better. He had no home other then Irk. Their smeet, child, was neither and both at the same time. The complications had already begun, even though Zim realized he was the only one who saw them.

Their infant could never be accepted by either race. A half breed child that would need Irken technology to survive but would never develop into a full Irken. He didn't even know what that could mean. His systems, organs, body in general was so much different from Dib's. What the smeet would have when born was something not even his readings could fully tell him. He knew the smeet was developing normally and had all the right things in the right place. Whether there was a spiglisplosh or a heart, though, was the question. Over the last few months, he'd begun to notice growths he couldn't identify. Human organs. Irken organs. Commingling. In harmony? He couldn't be sure.

One of his hands unconsciously reached up and rubbed his antenna. His fingers smoothed over it as he stared up at the screens. Inside him, the smeet kicked lively. This infant would need more attention then he could give it, Zim knew. He couldn't have a mission. All his life, he'd longed to be a part of Impending Doom and serve his Tallest. Times changed, he'd learned since he began putting together this scheme of his. In the beginning, he'd merely planned to eliminate the problem of Earth because he wanted to have Dib all to himself and end both their missions. Now, he was eliminating the problem of Earth because he had to convince Dib that their place was not on Earth. It was on Irk. He wanted, no needed, to be with his family. He couldn't explain it. He'd never felt like this before.

Zim was tired. Not tired physically. He was tired mentally, emotionally. He was tired of his mission, of his constant struggle with Dib over this planet. There was something else, though. There was that undeniable love for his mate and that content feeling that had lingered since that moment together when everything had started to come together. All he wanted was to return to Irk so he could become a mother to his smeet. He would still be an Invader, but he would only be on call until Impending Doom 3 or whatever, as he would've completed his mission. The only way to achieve that was to cut Dib's tie to this planet. He had to destroy this planet, to end his mission and to end Dib's. He had designed this plan for that reason. Now, it was more then that. Now it was about getting to that perfect plan. Now it was about making sure the smeet could survive. For that, they needed Irken technology they could only find on Irk itself. They had to leave Earth. Once he left, Zim knew he could never bring himself to return. Thus, he would solve that problem once and for all.

There would be no Earth to return to.

" Yes... no more stinking Earth, Dib-human... I'll make it just the three of us..." he whispered as he stroked his swollen stomach. A beeping to his right brought him out of his thoughts, however. Turning, Zim saw that the station and laser were ready to be launched. Grinning that malicious smile, he climbed out of his chair and strode over to the launch bay.

The massive laser was the size of the house, with several circular energy spirals at the slender point to magnify the blast. When this thing was fired, whatever it was pointed out would be immediately destroyed. The blast would be three times as powerful as the one attached to the Massive. Zim looked over it as he typed in the final commands. Once he perfected it's blast, there would be nothing stopping him from finally killing all the humans. He taped the launch button and the entire upstairs section opened up as the platform the station was sitting on began to rise. He knew he ought to wait till nighttime to do this launch, but he couldn't wait that long. Dib never left the house at night, not even to fetch him fast food. He always had an issue with leaving his pregnant lover. Thus, Zim typed in the cloaking commands. The station was instantly disguised as a private jet. Had his neighbors ever seemed suspicious, he wouldn't have dared. After all the years of living on Earth, though, he'd learned that they never noticed anything. With one final command, then, the station launched right into space. He watched it go, disappearing through the clouds, before the roof began to close.

Darkness coated over the launch pad as Zim began to laugh. This plan was too much for words. He could barely believe he was getting away with it. Yet, Dib was none the wiser. He couldn't help but laugh.

* * *

Night had fallen by the time the front door clicked open and Dib slipped inside. He had a bag on his arm that was dripping. Muttering under his breath, he snapped the door shut and tip toed through the dark living room. He was almost at the kitchen when he saw that flash on the couch. He froze then as his head slowly turned. In the shadows, he saw the curvy figure of his boyfriend watching him from the couch, his eyes sharply narrowed. The human swallowed painfully when the lights were flicked on. Zim stood up, dressed in pajamas, his pink eyes scanning Dib from head to toe. Whatever Dib had intended on doing flew right out of his head when he almost felt radar searching his insides for some explanation.

" Now... Zim... there's no need to be angry...." Dib began, inching steadily away. Those eyes did not change and nothing was said, " Here you go. I got you the waffles and tacos you asked for,"

" You're seven hours, twenty three minutes, and two seconds later then I expected you to be home, Worm! _Why?! DO NOT LIE TO ZIIIMMM!!!!_" he screamed, throwing the bag onto the ground and slamming his finger into Dib's chest. The boy weakly smiled, trying to weasel his way into the kitchen so he could escape.

" I ran into Todd at the Crazy Taco. You know... you might not, actually. Well, he's this kid everyone called Squee who was a couple years ahead of us... he's an old friend, of sorts..." he started, moving around Zim. The alien turned with him, hands crossing over his chest, " He's pregnant too... some sort of black magic, I dunno... we didn't go into it... so... anyways, we got to talki-"

" You spent seven hours, twenty three minutes, and two seconds _talking?!_" Zim's tone had only gotten that much more severe as he spat that out. Dib shook his head, " Then where the HELL were you?!"

" Just lemme finish, okay, Zim! I talked to Todd and he opened my eyes to a lot of things! About pregnancy and everything," he backed up as those orbs got a tab bit more wicked in appearance. When the alien went to snap something, though, Dib cut him off, " And I know that it's my fault you got pregnant, Zim, and I'm prepared to step up to the plate. I know you've been stressed lately and this isn't easy on you, especially with the Irken Braxton-Hicks. I know that's why you've been so testy lately. So, I decided to make things a little easier,"

" That still doesn't explain where the hell you've been for the last SEVEN HOURS, TWENTY THREE MINUTES, AND TWO SECONDS!!!" Zim grabbed Dib's shirt and jerked him so close, their foreheads were touching, " Now I asked you a question! ANSWER ZIM NOW!!!"

" I'm getting to it! Will you please let me finish!" Dib protested as he freed himself from that grip. Judging by the look on that face, he had better cut to the chase or risk the spider legs again, " I went to my Dad's. I had to get something. Then I had to get something with that something! It took longer then I thought, ok? Now will you let me get to that?!"

" Enh?" as he uttered it, one of Zim's eyes opened to it's full size.

" I've de-" he was cut off as his lover asked him exactly what he figured he would. A trickle of annoyance slide down his spine.

" What?"

" I'm tryi-"

" What?" the question was repeated as was Zim's way. He didn't even seem to realize that he was interrupting him. Dib tried again to explain, but was cut short again, " What?"

" Zim, shut up! I'm getting to it! Will you just listen to me?!" Dib demanded, grabbing the older creature's arms as he said it. That frustration was building up inside and he really didn't want an annoying habit of his lover's to ruin this. Of course, Zim's eyes narrowed and he started to say something about the human's tone of voice. This time, however, Dib cut his short, " I've decided to make you an honest alien, of sorts, okay?"

" Excuse me?" Zim hissed, looking at where those hands were still on his arms. Dib released him as he got down on one knee, fishing around in his pocket, " What are you doing, Dib? Get off the floor this instance and finish telling ZIM whatever it is... what is that?"

Dib flipped open a blue velvet box. Nestled inside was a simple princess cut diamond ring, worth one karat, set in white gold. Zim stared at it in hopeless confusion as his beloved took his hand in his and held up the box. Clearly, for all the years the alien had lived there, he had yet to learn how humans proposed. That didn't effect Dib one bit. He was used to performing romantic gestures to that look.

" Zim, will you marry me?"

There was a moment of silence as Zim looked from the ring to Dib's face. All Dib did was smile a kind and pure smile. He could just see him piecing this conversation together behind his wide pink eyes. He'll figure it out in a minute, the human told himself. He just had to figure out that this was how humans proposed. Then he'd say something, hopefully yes. Thus, he patiently waited. Then, his stomach turned to lead as Zim's eyes narrowed and he put his hands on his hips. Dib felt his heart quickening. He couldn't say no, he scolded himself, he's pregnant.

" What the hell are you talking about, Dib? We're _already_ married!" Zim barked as he continued to glare down at the stunned boy. Dib gawked at him, having no idea what _he_ could possibly be talking about.

" What'd you mean, already married?"

" How could you not know?! You're the one who applied for this job! We've been married for almost eight months!" he shouted back, pointing off towards the kitchen where a calendar was set up. Dib knew that their eighth month anniversary as a couple was in a couple of days, but marriage?

Of course, that's when he realized it. Zim thought they were already married. He didn't understand that the terms 'boyfriend and boyfriend' meant that they were merely dating. He thought that was what humans called their significant other. He had no clue about engagement and marriage. In that fresh horror, then, Dib realized that he had gotten married without his knowledge. A million things flashed before his mind as he opened and closed his mouth over and over again. Nothing came out. Giving a shake of his head, though, he managed to get something out.

" How the hell do _Irkens_ get married?" he demanded, getting to his feet and shutting the box with a snap. This was probably a question he should've asked a long time ago. He didn't. Now he had to.

" We get together, of course! How the hell do humans do it then!"

" We date! We get engaged! We get married in a big ceremony called a wedding!" Dib exclaimed, waving the box in front of him, " This is the engagement ring! I ask you to marry me, you say yes, you wear the ring for the rest of your life, and we get married in a wedding with flowers and cake and family! What do you mean Irkens 'get together'?! Don't you date or anything?"

" Yes! We dated, Dib-Human! I clearly remember a few _years_ of dating!" Zim shot back, waving his hands in frustration.

" We weren't dating! We were _flirting!!!_"

" Whatever you people call it, it's called dating in Irken! We dated! We were engaged! Now we're married! We went through the steps! What's the problem!" Zim stomped his foot like a child, his antenna slicking back. Dib gave him a disbelieving look.

" When did we get engaged?!"

" We kissed, didn't we?! You kissed me, I kissed you! We were engaged! I asked you to prove your worth and you did! We were married then!" Zim was beginning to look as angry as he sounded, with narrowed eyes and fury on his face, " What does it matter?! You want to marry Zim and you already have! Why are you protesting this?!"

" But there was no ceremony!"

" What is it with you filthy humans and _ceremonies!!!"_

" Don't you Irkens have any?!"

" Yes! For WAR!!!" Zim pointed back at the kitchen. This time the gesture was geared towards the lab below, the sign of an Irken Invader. Dib didn't know what else to say. He didn't have much of a chance to think about it though, His alien was already talking again, " Zim doesn't know what the hell a wedding is, but it sounds like an awful waste of my time! We're already married!"

" But I bought you a ring and talked to my father and everything..." he opened the box again and showed him the diamond, " I'm supposed to give you a diamond... because it lasts forever, like our marriage. You wear it on your left hand, because the veins from that hand go straight to your heart. That's how humans get engaged.... couldn't we get married the human way too?"

" Why should we?"

" Well, first of all, it's only fair, since we're from two completely different planets. Secondly, we won't legally be married until then," he took the ring out and motioned to Zim for his hand, " Please?"

" You expect the almighty ZIM to wear you-"

Dib slipped the diamond on his gloved hand. Zim's shouting came to an sudden halt as he stared down at the beautiful thing. It fit like a dream, even on his strange fingers. That had been why Dib had been gone for so long. After talking to his father about getting permission to wed at such a young age, he had gone ring shopping with money provided by his rich father. He had gone to shop after shop, asking if they could get a ring that could fit around two of his own. He explained that his lover had been born with only three fingers. At long last, he found someone who'd be able to swing it. Somehow, the ring had still looked so delicate that he'd been afraid to touch it. Now he was glad he had put so much effort into it. That ring looked so pretty on Zim's finger, placed on his outer one. Even the alien seemed to think so as he lifted his hand to see the ring better, his antenna shooting up in interest.

" See? I know it's not really your style, but it looks really good on you. It wasn't an easy find, but I managed. That's why I was gone for so long. Do you like it?" he knew he was just rambling, which was why he stopped himself by just asking if he did or not. Zim glanced at the human, then just admired the ring like most people did. He held his hand at an arm's length and gazed down upon it.

" It will do, I suppose," Zim finally stated as he crossed his hands over his chest. A rush of excitement filled Dib then. If Zim liked the ring, then perhaps he would consider actually getting married the human way. Coughing to the side, Dib touched his lover's shoulder.

" Does that mean you'll marry me?"

" I already told you, we're already married," he snarled, giving him his signature look. Dib felt that familiar sinking feeling before Zim closed his eyes and drummed his fingers on his arm, " But... I suppose... we could have a ceremony,"

" Really?" Dib almost wanted to hug and kiss him for not turning this into another argument. Instead, he controlled himself and just laid a gentle kiss on the alien's cheek Zim rolled his eyes.

" Yes, yes. I am so amazing," he smugly said with a wave of his hand, " Now, what do we have to do for this stupid thing?"

" Well, you have to buy a white dress,"

That was the beginning, then, of a long argument that would keep the two at each other's throats for the rest of the evening. Despite Zim being nearly seven months pregnant and Dib sorely exhausted from the nursery, they kept at it until the wee hours. As they went along, they wound up sitting on the couch, the human rubbing the alien's feet. Although they didn't resolve much about the wedding, they found themselves beginning to come to an understanding about each other. Zim was Irken and he had to do things his way. Dib was human and he had to do things his way. The issues Dib had about Zim's attitude were faded by the dawn's light whereas Zim's problems about Earth were only more highlighted.

By the time dawn arrived, then, Dib was sound asleep with his head rested on Zim's stomach. Zim, however, was wide awake and more sure then ever that he had to destroy Earth if he were ever to get to his perfect world. It was time to take things to the next level.

* * *

I know I promised to reveal the gender of the smeet... but I had to rework it. It'll be in the next chapter. Promise.

Also, no I didn't forget the comment Zim made about being knocked up like a common whore. It's coming up, I swear, about how that could be if he were already married. It's also in the next chapter.

And the next chapter will be up sooner then this one!

Also, again, if you want to read the actual conversation Dib had with Squee, check my story The Devil's Bride. It will be appearing there, in about, chapter three.

That's all.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N- Take my new poll! Vote for your favorite four couples for a special Valentine's Day oneshot (mature rating)!! I'll love you forever if you do!!!

Now, on to the real reason all you people are here. Chapter 13 of All Your Fault.

Enjoy. Love, Sai-Chan.

* * *

For the past few days, Dib had been putting most of his efforts into planning a human wedding. There hadn't been much help on Zim's end, but then he hadn't thought there would be. After all, his alien lover considered them already married. However, the simple fact that he was being allowed to plan the wedding was enough of a reason for him to. There had been hours spent dealing with people about locations, invitations, cakes, flowers, and so much more. The fact that Zim didn't have any family made the process somewhat easier. Still, Dib had been at his wits end with lists upon lists of things he'd never even noticed about any wedding. Not to mention all the special requirements he had to take into account seeing how his beloved _was_ an alien. Zim couldn't eat most of the cake selections and he didn't know anything about decorations and anything that smelled like it was from Earth made him nauseous. They couldn't have it outdoors, as Zim was a germaphobe. Despite this, and more, Dib had selected a nice indoor ballroom, pretty but basically scentless pinkish red flowers, and a somewhat bland cake type that didn't need frosting.

These were the accomplishments the human intended on sharing with the alien on the morning of their eighth month celebration. When he walked into the living room, however, he just stopped dead in his tracks. His eyes took in the scene before him. His first instinct was to leave and make sure he was at the correct address. His next was just to let his jaw drop. The paperwork and rough drafts all scattered to the floor. He couldn't really help it. Dib just couldn't believe his eyes.

His lover was reclining on the couch, legs propped up on a small end table looking thing. Zim was decked out in slippers, an oversized T-shirt, and shorts that appeared to be Dib's. He didn't even have his gloves on. He did have a bucket of ice cream in his lap and three empty cartons of that dipping candy he enjoyed so much, though. More interesting, however, was the fact that he was staring at the TV and watching it with mild amusement. His pink eyes were blank as he ate his ice cream and listened to a couple of females complain about their husbands while getting drunk. As far as Dib could figure, Zim was watching a daytime soap opera in his pajamas while stuffing his face full of junk food. There was just something _wrong_ about that. He didn't even know what it was. He just thought that as he let the papers fall and thus gather himself some attention.

Two pink eyes locked on him with the accuracy and sharpness of a sniper scope. Then, the ice cream was resting on the cushions and Zim was walking over to him. Dib opened his mouth to ask what was going on when he caught sight of the Irken symbol sprawled over that arched belly. The antennae depicted were curled at the end the same way Tak's symbols were. The symbols Zim used, however, had straight antennae. At once, the human gasped and jabbed a finger in the direction of the shirt. Zim stopped short, giving him his signature look.

" We're having a girl?" Dib spat out, unable to keep the excitement from his voice. He was given a dark look, those eyes narrowing viciously. The look bounced off Dib like it was nothing.

" _We,_ Dib?" he sneered, crossing his arms over his bulging stomach. At that, the other's eyes drew into the bored look he usually got when he had to deal with this sarcastic side of his Invader love, " I believe, Love Slave, that _Zim_ is carrying the smeet,"

" I meant, our child, she's a girl? When did you find that out?" he repeated, waving his hands as a way of dismissing the previous statement. Zim shrugged, playing with the ring resting off his left hand.

" Oh, I always knew,"

" Thanks for sharing," Dib muttered, rubbing his forehead to prevent the headache that was beginning to form, " So… you're actually out of the base. . ."

" Today's my day off, Dib-human," he said, hands on his hips in a flash of movement. Pretending that he wasn't surprised, the boy nodded. That's when Zim pointed to the floor with the nonchalance he was known for, " You dropped your… whatever, about two minutes ago. Don't make a mess of your mighty lord's base, Slave. Clean it up,"

" Aren't you in a peachy mood this fine morning, Zim?" he snarled, dropping down and starting to pick up the forgotten forms and lists and such things for the wedding he was planning. As he reached for one, though, a bare light green foot stepped down gently on his fingers. Dib's head was tilted back so he was looking up at a smirking face he was so used to seeing. Those eyes glowed with some emotion close to endearment, though, which ruined the malicious smile, " Um… Zim?"

" That's right, Love Slave. Crawl to your master," he commanded with a tone that was deliberately slow as honey but not really as sweet. Dib arched an eyebrow, but couldn't fight the smile crossing his lips. To be sure, his heart actually skipped a beat, " Stay on the floor, unworthy worm,"

" Guess you are in a peachy mood, after all…" Dib teased, his smile turning sly at the implications. Zim didn't acknowledge the statement in the least. Rather, he pushed the human's head to the side with all three of the fingers on one hand. With his head completely tilted, Zim gripped the exposed flesh, dipping his claws in. A gasp escaped the other's mouth as he saw his alien kneel down gingerly in front of him. The curve of that stomach appeared much more dramatic at this angle. Dib went to ask something about it, but all that he got out was the first syllable, " Sh-"

Zim pressed his lips against Dib's. His hands held the younger boy in place, preventing any movement. The kiss was chaste for only a moment before their tongues were dancing over the other's. They drank each other down as deeply as they could manage, their bodies pressing together from mouth to intertwined legs. Dib felt those claws sinking in. Then there was a blossom of heat he knew had to be blood and fingers drummed in the liquid. A smile broke the kiss apart. Their form of foreplay was running down one of the human's arms. Snickering, Dib drew away from the kiss. He just grabbed hold of that untraditional shirt and rubbed the belly his lover sported nowadays. Zim, on the other hand, lowered his mouth to the broken flesh. A gasp filled the air as the teeth sank in and he began to suck. The familiar feeling made Dib choke and cough, his vision foggy despite his glasses.

As Zim rang his tongue over the metallic blood, Dib began to undo his belt. Tugging it away, he wiggled out of the jeans, adjusting positions constantly. He heard a little Irken before he was slammed down into the ground. This time, however, he wasn't in trouble for jumping the gun. He saw a smirk and he just grinned, pulling off his shirt with ease. The scars on his flesh caught Zim's attention. Instead of removing his own clothes then, he straddled Dib in one fluid motion. The moan the boy admitted was drowned out by snide laughter while Zim flexed his clawed fingers over the skin he so loved to pierce. Licking his lips, he dug his nails through the skin on Dib's chest and dragged them down.

A scream burst forth, Dib's eyes squeezing shut out of spite of his desire to see this show. Pain erupted in his skull and flesh, but he didn't stop him. The alien cooed with purring pleasure as blood bloomed over his fingers. His stomach prevented him from lapping it up, however. Thus, he drove in deeper, causing the blood flow to pour faster over that pearly white skin. Dib's breathing switched to frantic panting as he twisted and whimpered beneath his lover. Zim ignored him. He just tore his claws from that flesh. Red oozed down his fingers, into his palm, where it pooled before sliding down his wrist. As it did, he licked it up with quick flicks of his snakelike tongue. Only when it had all be drunk did he bother turning his attention back to the withering form on the ground beneath him. Giving him a once over, Zim nodded once before sliding out of his shorts with a bit of assistance. The shirt remained on; a disappointment to Dib.

There was no time for complaints. Zim's tongue curled around his hand until it was slick and wet. Dib prepared himself to be entered again, collecting his breath regardless of how pointless it was to do so. Zim didn't slick himself up, however. He grabbed the erect member of his human and jerked his wet hand up and down it, giving him the most partial of hang jobs possible. As soon as Dib was slick, panting, and gasping, Zim heaved himself up and positioned his tender ass. Just as the human was attempting to say something, he pushed himself down onto that shaft with enough force to make both of them cry out.

The pain was overwhelmed by the massive pleasure that rocketed through their flesh. Feeling Dib inside of him after so long made Zim shiver and shudder as he eased himself down as far as he could. Dib, on the other hand, just gripped the ankles of the curvy legs supporting this union. His chest rapidly fell and rose as his lover pulled himself up. This time, Dib thrust forward to meet him, moving his hips as hard as he knew he needed to. Gasps filled the air that was fast becoming steamy and thick. This was how they found their rhythm, this one motion. They began to rock passionately, Zim pushing himself down onto the shaft and crying out as Dib pumped as best he could. Every thrust made a new sound, a new cry or whimper, cut through the panting coming from the floor. Hands reached back and gripped the younger boy's legs for support. The angle was changed. The motion did not. They slammed themselves together as they were each struck by wave after wave of fiery passion. This heat licked along their flesh as they become one over and over again in a fit of moans and groans.

Deep within Zim, then, something was struck. His back twisted as he was racked with a convulsion that poured straight into Dib. The human shuddered, pushing his pelvis forward again. Another convulsion, this one accompanied by a screech and a sick grin. Nails broke through the skin. Blood dripped onto the floor in thick droplets that nearly went unnoticed. There was no time for it. The pumping was getting faster. Dib's heart threatened to burst out of his chest. He couldn't breathe. His mind had gone blank as fire leaked from his cock to his blood. He saw a flush rising on that green face as he shoved himself up as the alien pushed down. A raspy breath choked on air above him. He saw Zim's back arch and his toes curl tightly. The sight made his grip tighten, his heart stop, while his eyes widened. Every muscle focused solely on that beautiful creature riding him after such a long break.

There wasn't much time left. The pressure was building to the breaking point, growing worse with every rough thrust into that tender ass. Dib whispered, but wasn't heard, as Zim cried out in Irken, his hands jumping to the sides of his heavy belly. The cry was anything but pained. There was an elation that bordered on the insane. The human slammed his cock into his lover. That was all it took. Both felt themselves screaming rather then heard it as they came together. Rushes of ecstasy flooded their senses as they orgasmed.

Dib collapsed back against the floor with a strangled gasp of sorts. Above him, Zim fell against the legs his lover had propped up to support him. His hands rubbed the sides of his stomach while he breathed slowly and evenly. For a moment, neither said anything. They just basked in the fun of it all. Slowly, though, the alien pushed himself off the other and just sat on the floor. His eyes turned to the ceiling, his legs spread eagle. The position was tempting, but Dib resisted. He didn't want to push his luck, as he knew how Zim hated it when he took control of a sexual situation. Thus, he just struggled to sit up. When he managed, he cleaned himself up and sat criss-cross beside his Invader. No words were exchanged until Dib reached over and rubbed Zim's cheek innocently.

" Don't do that, Dib-human. It tickles," he mumbled, lightly swatting the hand away without really trying to move it away. The boy nodded in acknowledgement. Then he just repeated the action, " _Dib_,"

" I can't help it if your skin's soft, Zim," he softly cooed, snickering when his hand was batted away again. The alien gave him bored eyes, not at all amused with this game.

" What are all these papers?" he questioned out of nowhere, picking up one of the discarded sheets that still littered the ground about them. There was a second where Dib had no idea what he was talking about. Then he remembered all the information he'd gotten about their wedding and how it had all fallen to the floor moments before they had consummated their relationship once more. Turning his head, he saw that Zim was peering curiously at a list of flower arrangements. The words must have appeared much like ancient Greek or something, for those antennae were standing at attention.

" These are some of the plans for the wedding. Those are some of the flowers. And here's a list of entrees for the reception. Here's some guests… I wanted to invite my family… but I don't think most of them would come, so it's mostly just. . . Well, no one really," Dib explained, pointing to the names of the very few people he could think of, " There's my immediate family. . . Tak . . . Gir and that's pretty much where it ends,"

" You invited _Tak?_" Zim hissed out, snatching the list from him. Dib shrugged a bit, not really knowing what to say about it. Those pink eyes narrowed, then relaxed as the sheet was tossed back into the air, " I suppose she is mating with your sister. She may come,"

" You could invite some people if you wanted to. . ."

" I would only want to invite My Tallest and they are far too busy to be bothered with something as trivial as a human ceremony," was his answer as Zim absentmindedly rubbed his swollen middle. Although Dib felt a stab of anger at something as important as a wedding being classified as 'trivial', he just started to fold up one of the sheets.

" I was thinking we could have it sometime next year. Maybe when it's warm outside so it'll be sunny. June's a popular month for weddings. I found a great place and I think you'll like the color combination. I choose white, red, and green, to compliment your skin tone and everything," he continued to say as he bent the corners in and around and under. Dib knew Zim probably didn't care, but he did, and he wanted to share, " I know you always wear red and black, but I'm sure you'll look very pretty in white. I can ask Gaz to style your wig or whatever. You'll probably need a backless dress for your Pak. I bet a halter top would look amazing. You could wear gloves too and boots would be fine. The veil would hide your face in case you get bored or whatever. I'll teach you what to say and whatever. The flowers won't smell and they're red. Your bouquet will look great, I'm sure. And, of course, Gaz and Tak will be your bridesmaids. I'm sure I can find someone to be my groomsmen. My dad can walk you down the aisle but you can't march. I don't think it'll work with your gown,"

Gently, pausing in his babbling, Dib placed a folded up paper hat on Zim's stomach. He beamed at it, thinking of it as a gift to their unborn child. The alien, however, just stared at it with his narrowed eyes. The look was distrusting of the hat, or something close to that, but the boy ignored it. He didn't really want this moment to be ruined by his lover's usual antics. When he went to continue, though, he found he really didn't have much else to say. Everything else was still a coin toss. Thus, he just tilted his head.

" Well. . . What do you think, Zim? Does it all sound. . . Y'know… nice?" he asked, motioning for his lover to speak. A flicker of pink went from the hat to Dib.

" Yes, yes. How amusing," he said with the wave of his hand. There was no interest in his voice whatsoever. That brought a noticeable frown to Dib's face, " Enh? What is it now?"

" Zim, this is supposed to be a fucking important conversation and you're ruining it!! Can't you even fake a smile and show some damn interest! This is _your_ wedding! You should be taking some interest it in! You're the bride! It's your special day!!" Dib snapped, throwing some of the sheets at him.

" What special day, human?! I'm _Irken!!!_ We don't have stupid weddings with all this junk! I already told you that! Now leave me alone about it! ZIM!! Has enough to deal with without your pitiful wedding ceremonies and cake and dresses!" Zim barked back, punching Dib in the shoulder with enough force to send a tremor of pain down the boy's arm. Both their eyes narrowed darkly and severely at the other.

" What the hell is that supposed to mean?! What do you have to deal with?! You're on maternity leave and all you do is sit in front of your computer and read! You could be sleeping for all I know!!" he screamed back, jabbing a finger into that furious face. His hand was grabbed and squeezed in that military strong grip.

" Insolent worm _bitch_. Don't you tell ZIM what he has to deal with when you KNOW NOTHING!!! Get out of my face!" with that, he heaved himself to his feet. Dib followed in suit, gripping his alien lover's wrist before he could storm off, " LEGGO, DIB-HUMAN!!!"

" NO!!!" he jerked Zim around to face him, pulling them so close that their chests were pushed together. Both were breathing deeply from their own private rages at being told what should be important and what should be dealt with, " You don't get to just walk away from this!"

" From this? From what!"

" From this fight! Dammit, Zim! You always get what you want and I never do! I'm tired of that! I wanted us to have a wedding because it means something to me! I want us to get married the way we get married on my planet! Why can't you respect that?" Dib felt his voice cracking, but he wasn't relenting now. Zim's eyes sharpened their glare as he ripped his arm away. Neither moved away, though, leaving them literally screaming down each other's throat.

" I'm trying to destroy this miserable planet! Why would I care about your stupid weddings! We're already married on _my_ planet! I don't see the POINT in getting married again!!" Zim retorted, hands jumping into the air in frustration, " It's a waste of time!"

" It's _not_ a waste of time, Zim!" Dib yelled, clenching his fists as he watched that creature turn away and ignore him. Screaming out, he grabbed Zim's shoulder and jerked him back around, " Can't you see how important this is to me?!"

" I don't see what the big deal is!"

" No, I suppose you wouldn't! You never see anything past your own stupid, pathetic Irken ass! You're so wrapped up in yourself that you don't have time for me!" he hollered this as he looked towards the wall. There was no response. He took advantage of that to twist back and shove his boyfriend backwards, " How does it feel, Zim! There! I'm mad! I hit you! Isn't that how you do it on your planet! Big Almighty Irken Invader, right?! Whip out your spider legs then! Take me down! Kill me!"

" Why are you getting so damn mad, Dib-human!" Zim screeched, stomping his foot as if he didn't even notice he had been hit. Dib gritted his teeth.

" You just don't get it, do you, Zim! I guess you never will! This is supposed to be something wonderful, a chance to express our love!" he pointed at the engagement ring with a shaking hand as he declared that, " I want the world to know we love each other, forever! That's what this wedding is supposed to show!"

" That's not how ZIM does things!"

" What are you talking about! It's _all_ you do! You're all about attention! You can't function without it! You're loud, rude, and you always like center stage! If you could be in the spotlight for the rest of your life, you'd be delirious!" he hissed, making a face and giving a sharp laugh. The alien's eyes opened to their full size, " You're all 'look at me, I am Zim'. That's your motto, isn't it? Well, here's your chance to perform, Irken boy,"

" How dare you speak to Zim like this, worm! I am NOT like that!" he snapped, despite the slight flush that was rising to his cheeks. Dib rolled his eyes and slammed his palms into the older boy's shoulders, " Ow! Stop it! Don't you touch me with your filth human hands!"

" Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Germ-a-phobia. Aren't we big and bad? A little cough and you go running to your Tallest. You're a sorry excuse for an Invader, aren't you, Zim? You've been on Earth for six years and you've never even conquered a city. Hell, you haven't even conquered your school. What?" Dib knew he was crossing the line, but he was too charged to even stop himself. Rage was building in that small alien frame, causing a rose blush and twitch to appear, " All your super weapons and you can't even defeat a bee. You aren't an Invader, Zim. You're a joke. An intergalactic joke,"

" STOP IT!! SHUT UP!! I AM NOT!! ZIM IS NOT!! I AM AN INVADER!! I AM THE GREATEST INVADER EVER!!!" Zim shrieked, his voice growing shrill as his body clenched from the sheer and uncontrolled fury surging to life. Heat was pouring over his face, blinding him to every sense of reason.

" No you're not! You're an idiot, Zim!"

" YOU'RE LYING!!"

" No, I'm not!! That's why you're married to me, a human! Because no one of your own race will have you! I'm the best you can do and you don't even like me! And now you're pregnant and you're stuck here, on this smelly, dirty, disgusting rock for the rest of your life!" he sneered, extending his arms to the makeshift house surrounding them, " Welcome to your wonderful Invader Doom Day, baby, because here it is! A human husband who's goal is to destroy your race, a bawling brat, maternity weight you'll never lose, and this world that you hate forever. You'll never see Irk again. It'll just be me, you, and the baby. Forever,"

There was a moment where Zim's body stopped working. His eyes contracted a look of horror, his arms falling limp by his sides, as all color drained from his face. The words echoed inside his head. All the fears from day he took the pregnancy test suddenly seemed so close, he could taste them. The room rushed past him, to the horror that he hadn't allowed to cross his mind. He'd drowned them in his fantasy life on Irk with the smeet, but now everything was rushing back. The sole reason he had wanted to use protection. Zim was going to be a mother. He'd embraced the idea, yes, but right then, it just seemed like such an awful joke. His eyes darted around his house. Dib was asking him something in that terrible human language, the TV was blasting some terribly constructed slop of a show, and his stomach was swollen and big with child. His base was a mess and he had barely been able to get any work done. It was taking months to get things done when it usually only took him days. What would his life be like with a screaming smeet that needed constant attention?

Like a brick colliding with his head, Zim was stuck with the massive responsibility this step in his life was going to take. Never before had he been so afraid of something he so desired as right then. Turning his stare to Dib, he took a step backwards.

" No… no…. NO!!!" he shouted, grabbing his antennae as his back hit the wall. Dib moved closer, his eyes sick with worry. His hand reached forward like the hand of death. Zim screamed, his spider legs whipping out and glowing with frantic blue electricity, " Get away from me! Don't touch me! Get away! No! Not me! I am not a whore! I am not! I am Zim, the great Invader! I am not married to you! I am not having your filthy monstrosity! This is not happening! This is not happening to me! I am not staying here forever! I WANT TO GO HOME!!!"

Whatever was said on Dib's part was drowned out by the deafening blast when the balls of electricity slammed into the ground and walls of the green house. An explosion rocked the base as the human was thrown out the front door. His back crashed into the sidewalk, flipping him over several times before he collided with the wooden fence. A new door shot up, locking him outside. From the inside, he could hear Zim screeching and shrieking for Gir and the Tallest and a whole mess of things in Irken. There were crashes and blasts and then one long scream that echoed into the afternoon air. Then everything was quiet. Dib moaned as he felt the ground shudder. Slowly, he sat up on the grass and stared up at the smoking house he'd been thrown out of.

" What the hell was that about?" he muttered, rubbing the back of his head, " Urgh… you just _had_ to go and say that, didn't you, Dib? Now you've sent him over the edge… and you're talking to yourself again. Just great. . ."

Hanging his head, he noticed something that made his heart skip a beat. Jumping to his feet, he rushed to the bathroom door that was the strange front door of his lover's home. He cried out to be let in, banging his fists into the door. He didn't hear anything. Of course, he knew that Zim was probably miles below the surface in his base. Still, he called out and attempted to break inside, all the while cussing and blushing.

" Zim! For Christ's sake, lemme in! Open the door! Please!" he begged, clawing at the door he knew his alien love was no where near, " I'm naked. . ." There was no answer. There wasn't going to be. Dib knew that as he just sank to his knees and rested his forehead against the door, " Oh yeah. This is great. Just great…"

* * *

Night had fallen and the air was starting to grown cold as Dib stared up at the stars he had always been fascinated with. He was still outside Zim's house, as he had been for the past ten hours. There had been no word from inside yet on what had been taking place. He didn't know what his lover was doing or if he was okay or not. All he could do was wait for a sign. He didn't know what that sign would be, but he figured he had a better chance of finding it if he waited around. So, he sat there, looking up at the space his darling had come from. He knew what the stars were named and often wondered what some of them looked like up close. Right then, though, he wondered if Zim had ever been to one of them. He wondered where Irk was and just what it was like, that military based planet his psycho had grown up on and called home. He even wondered which solar system was being invaded by the Irken Army at the moment and how soon it would be before Zim said the hell with Earth and actually completed his mission.

Despite what he had said, Dib was well aware that the only thing standing in between Earth's total annihilation and it's survival was Dib himself. That wasn't truly because he was a great savior and Zim was a terrible Invader. Honestly, it was mostly because Zim was too distracted with Dib to really try hard enough to wipe out the planet. He had what it took. Their colorful past detailed that quite explicitly. Yet, Dib had gone and threatened the fragile ego that made his alien tick. He had told him the one thing he didn't want to hear. He was a failure at his job. For a workaholic like Zim, that was a devastating blow. Combine that with Zim's knack for overreacting and under thinking and the results were bound to be catastrophic. Especially since he had been left alone with his thoughts for so long.

Sighing, Dib rubbed the bridge of his nose as he pushed his glasses up a little. He had given it his all, trying to get back inside the base, but all attempts had been futile. Now, he could only wait. Blinking, he stared up at the sky he longed to venture out into. So many galaxies he wanted to see, to explore, that his alien had probably visited before. Seeing them, his mind turned back to a night when he had been a mere thirteen. He had sat up on the roof above him, staring up at the sky through Irken binoculars, at places that had seemed so close at the time. Beside him, Zim lectured him on which planets were Irken property and which weren't and which were scheduled for destruction. That had been the first time he had truly appreciated the military his lover hailed from. He'd never imagined such a thing as real universal conquest and yet, he had sat next to a soldier of an army that had conquered half the known universe that night. Thinking back now, Dib wondered if that was the night he'd realized he was in love with Zim. Other thoughts, however, prevented him from pondering it much more then just that fleeting fancy.

" Why did I have to bring his mission into that fight? Was it really that important? I mean. . . it's only a wedding," he mumbled, flicking a speck of dirt from his scratched up knee. A small gust of wind was his answer, " I just wanted us to share in this experience. . . I mean, we're getting married. . Er . . Are married. Shouldn't we act like it?"

Just as he was saying it, he figured that this was how Irkens acted when they were married. Glaring, he started to curse his luck as he dug a toe into the dirt. The ground trembled a little. A buzzing sound echoed in the silent night. A minute passed where Dib ignored both things. Then, realizing what was happening, he jumped to his feet, searching for whatever was opening. Above him, the roof of the house was opening. Inside, the cruiser had it's lights on and was hovering over the launching platform. Once the walls were down, it twisted out of the house. Before it could shoot off, however, Dib screamed out his alien's name. His hands jumped into the air and he hollered and screeched, waving his arms frantically. One of the searchlights caught on him and the cruiser hesitated. He shouted out that he was sorry, but wasn't sure he could be heard over the engine. Panic was beginning to flood his senses. The last words Zim had said continued to rush through his mind.

'I want to go home'.

" Zim! Wait! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! Don't leave!" he yelled, hurrying over to where the cruiser was. Standing under it, he pleaded for the other not to vanish into the void of space, " I'm sorry for what I said! You're not a joke! You're not a terrible Invader! I'm sorry I was overdoing it with the wedding! I just wanted you to care about it because I care about it! I don't care about that anymore! I'm sorry! Don't leave!"

The cruiser went full circle, then slammed to a stop in front of the human. The top whizzed open, revealing the glaring Irken inside. Zim was dressed in full uniform, his antennae slicked back, and his eyes slits of rage. His swollen stomach stretched his clothes, resting heavily on his knees from how he was sitting. His fingers clenched around the controls. The diamond glinted off the moonlight, the only saving grace for Dib in this awkward meeting. Swallowing, the boy repeated what he had said, in case it had gone unheard. Before he could finish, though, Zim jerked his hand to the side in a slicing motion. Instantly, he shut up, recognizing that sign.

" I have already contacted my Tallest. I am going to the Armada to give birth to this smeet so it can be given to the Super Computer for assigning and I never have to see it again. Then I'm coming back here to destroy you and your pitiful planet, Earth Monkey. After that, I never have to think about this disgusting disgrace of a life I've had to endure on this rotten slab of dirt," Zim hissed in a low tone that just dripped with venom. Dib's eyes filled with horror, his face blanching at the thought.

" No! You can't! Zim, wait! What about us?! What about me?!" he demanded, grabbing the side of the cruiser with every ounce of his strength, " Don't you love me?"

" I do not know what you speak of. Now, get off my cruiser. ZIM has somewhere to be!" he snapped, pulling back on the gears so that the machine was torn from the other's hands. Glancing down at where Dib was staring, searching for answers, he pulled the ring from his gloved hand, " As far as you should be concerned, Dib, _this_ never happened. I'd suggest getting on with what's left of your miserable life,"

" You can't do this!"

" I just did,"

With that, Zim threw the ring into his face right as the protective shield sealed shut. Dib went to grab hold of anything, anything at all, but he wasn't fast enough. The voot cruiser tore off into the night sky, fast enough that by the time he'd twisted around, it was merely a speck. Then there was nothing but the vast blackness of space that had swallowed up his beloved. Staring up at it, Dib felt his knees give out. He fell to the ground as the weight, the sheer gravity, of what had just happened sank in. Zim had left him. Not only had he left him, though, he had ended their relationship entirely. The first tear ran down his cheek then. An emptiness unlike anything he had ever experienced before flooded his senses as he pushed one of his hands to his mouth. Sickness swam to the surface, encasing him in an icy chamber from which there was no escape. His body shook violently. Hot tears fell from his eyes, splattering on the ground and his glasses. The world around him went foggy, pressing down on his body until he was bent double, one hand against his trembling lips and the other plunging fingers into the cold dirt. Before his eyes was the diamond ring he'd so lovingly given to Zim only days ago. Now, it was discarded in the grass, a bitter and harsh reminder of the creature he was so thoroughly in love with.

The sobs rocked Dib's body then, rendering thought useless. He just silently broke down on the steps he had walked up so nervously eight months beforehand. When applying for this job, he had never once thought he would be fired. Yet, he had been.

Worse still, though, was the undeniable fact that it was all his fault.


	14. Chapter 14

A/N- Take my new poll. Vote for your favorite random pairing. The winning couple will get an M-rated oneshot of kinky proportions. Please and thank you.

* * *

The Massive was an impressive sight for any Invader, even if they had seen it before. As it were, Zim had seen the Massive on many occasions, mostly in part to his own hijacking skills. Nevertheless, he gawked idly at the huge red spaceship as it towered over his tiny Voot cruiser for a couple seconds when he arrived at the Armada. Finally shaking his head to rid himself of the awe, he approached by weaving in and out of the various smaller warships. In due time, he was hovering outside the docking ramp. Once he radioed inside, the Voot cruiser was allowed to land. He drifted through an opening in the hull, then, and landed softly on the giant dock fit for any number of ships. As soon as he had touched down, he snapped the shield off of the cruiser. With some difficulty, the Invader climbed out of his ship and gently stepped down onto the metal floor of the ship he had never officially been on before. The hanger he was in had a couple Irken soldiers in it. Most of them gave him dirty or strange looks, but he kindly ignored them.

Rather, Zim marched from the hanger to the giant metal doors that were already whizzing open. From the other side, Tallest Purple and Red floated in, their eyes bored and their hands full of a wide variety of snacks. Around them were a bunch of guards, all of whom added their own looks to the mix. The Invader pretended he didn't see them as he stood in front of his leaders for the first time since he had been assigned his mission to conquer Earth, several years ago. The changes since then rendered them all a little shocked. After all, then Zim had barely come up to their knees and had been labeled the smallest Invader. Now, he stood to their shoulders and was sporting a large, rounded belly firm with child. Nervously, he saluted them.

" Greetings, my Tallest. It is a pleasure to see you again and an honor to be here at the Massive. I can't thank you enough for allowing me access to your home while I wait out the duration of this unfortunate turn of events. Then, Zim will return to Earth to smite it and turn it's glorious burning ruin over to your Empire, sirs," Zim proudly announced, his smile widening characteristically as his ego began to revive itself from his horrible encounter with Dib.

" Aw, yes. . . hello, Zim," Red weakly answered, his voice as monotone as it possible could be. Beside him, Purple snorted into his shoulder in a desperate attempt not to start laughing out loud. His counterpart shot him a dark glower that went unheeded, as the snickering continued, " You. . . look great,"

" Thank you, sir," Zim couldn't hide the aggravation from his voice, despite his obvious attempt to do so. Red felt his interest growing, only to quell it quickly by jabbing Purple in the ribs. The other could barely keep himself upright, the snorting and giggling had grown so bad. Of course, Zim failed to notice.

" Knock it off, Purple. . ." Red sneered under his breath, elbowing him one more time. Purple gasped out an apology that was strangled by more laughter. The Invader gazed at his leader, but didn't ask to be let in on the joke. Vaguely, Red wondered if he already knew. Still, he just motioned to the doorway that remained open, " Um. . . a drone will take you to your room, Zim. I'm sure. . . you're tired- would you shut up- from your trip. It must of been a grueling two week journey. . . being expectant and everything. . ."

" Yes, sir. Thank you, my Tallest. Zim shall never forget the kindness you have shown him," he answered with one last salute. From the crowd of guards, a single drone stumbled forward to lead the Exile to his new quarters. Red sighed loudly as the one Irken he had tried to keep out of the Massive happily marched into it. To his side, Purple burst out in wild, unchecked laughter as all his snacks fell to the roof before being grabbed by the guards.

" Oh my! Did you see how big he's gotten?!"

With that, the doors to the hanger whizzed shut. Zim was left in the hallways of his leaders as he followed a drone to what would be his home for the next couple of weeks. He tried not to think about those weeks as he looked around the familiar and homely scenery of the universe he hailed from. Years stuck on Earth, surrounded by only his small base, and those feelings of homesickness finally evaporated. A small smile smoothed over his lips as he felt the chill in the air from the metal walls, heard the whirl of engines of a spacecraft, smelt the harsh chemicals of weaponry. After so long, he was glad to be away from dirt, water, and humans. These sensations were what he filled his mind up with as he was lead deeper and deeper into the belly of his mothership. Just as he was thinking he was starting to get dizzy, the drone informed him that they were there. He didn't thank the slave. He merely walked inside the modest room and snapped the door shut.

The room reminded him slightly of the bedroom he had left on Earth. There was a circular bed with purple sheets and a metal headboard bolted to the wall. A door to a cleaning facility was off to one side. The rest of the room was bare, as it didn't serve any other function then a sleeping area. Spying that bed, Zim strolled over, pulling his gloves off with his teeth. Free of their protection, he rubbed his slender fingers over the insanely soft fabric of the imperial sheets. That was really all he needed. Letting out a moan, Zim eased himself down onto the feather like mattress and silky sheets that caressed his tense skin. The pressure that had been tugging on his middle was immediately washed away, leaving him feeling lighter then he had in several weeks. Kicking off his overly tight boots, the Invader just laid there, grinning for the simple pleasure of being able to rest.

Tallest Red would never know how right he had been when he said Zim was tired from his trip. The flight from Earth to the current location of the Armada had been a whopping two week trip. Two weeks, then, he had spent in his cramped Voot cruiser, sitting in that less then plush chair with it's stiff and unforgiving back. Being seven months pregnant, Zim had been utterly miserable. His back had throbbed, his neck had ached, his head had spun, his feet had swollen, and his belly had continued to weigh him down. Sometimes, he swore he was growing larger by the minute. He knew that wasn't possible, though. Locked in that tiny ship for such a long amount of time, however, had made him look down at his vastly swollen middle with disdain. At that moment, he truly wished he could just make his smeet and it's resulting curve vanish if only so he could stand up without so much agony.

" All in due time, Zim. . . all in due time. . ." he mumbled to himself in a dazed sort of voice. Sleep was starting to overtake him even if he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to go to bed. He really wanted to get up and drag his heavy butt over to his Tallest to ask them questions about what to do with the smeet once it was born. He wished to discuss the war and his invasion of the humans. He longed to get some snacks and watch some good old fashioned Irken broadcasts. Instead, he just sighed loudly and patted the side of his large middle.

As much as he wanted to, wished to, longed to, Zim knew the bed was going to win out. He was an Invader and an Irken and he was ready for any sort of pain, true. Right then and there, however, he just yawned and relaxed his body to accept the mattress. His body was sore in places he hadn't felt during his entire course of training. He knew his Tallest would understand if he wanted to get in a couple hours of sleep. They would forgive him for being so exhausted he couldn't even bring himself to move from the edge of the bed to the mountains of pillows at the headboard. Deciding that to be the best course of action, then, Zim settled into the bed and merely stroked the sides of his stomach. The only comfort to the action was in that he wouldn't have to do it for much longer.

For all his previous worrying and maternal instincts, Zim wasn't about to give up his world to become a mother and a housewife. He could never forgive himself for letting himself become an Irken whore, but he could at least salvage his future. He may have gone and married an alien race. He may have gotten pregnant with the spawn of an alien. He may have become such a whore, but he wasn't going to stay that way. He didn't have to remain on Earth with his filthy husband and their bawling smeet half breed, trying to blow up the planet to return home. He didn't have to do anything. He was an Invader, and a damn good one at that. His place was in the army, destroying planets and receiving praise from his Tallest. There was no way he was going to surrender that to stay on a smelly dirt rock, pregnant with smeets, until he went insane. He refused to. Dib was right. If he stayed there, his future was as bleak as the night sky.

Thus, he was giving it up to go back to what he did best. He would bare his half breed smeet, give it to the Irken population to raise properly, and blow Earth into a pile of space dust that could be turned into pretty eye shadow for the females back on Irk. Zim didn't need the 'love' he had for Dib. As far as he was concerned, he had just been brainwashed by an enemy who sought to ruin his wonderful career as an Invader.

Sure, he might miss the quirky cuteness of his devoted lover. He might miss the strangely comforting suspicions of that annoying bug of a creature. He might miss the warmth of someone's body next to him own, holding him at night. He might miss the coy sarcasm of a playful fight that didn't even make sense. He might miss all that, he knew, but he was strong enough to forget about it, about Dib. He could forget the smiling face that laughed at his jokes, rolled his eyes at his weird claims, shrugged off his abusive nature, and accepted wholeheartedly who and what he was. He could forget all the passionate nights together and the sweetness that followed. He could forget about all his careful planning to create a world just for the two of them. He could forget that, he told himself firmly. He didn't need presents that made no sense or teasing that poked fun at his being an alien or kind noticing of his nervous habits. He didn't need Dib, so he could just as easily forget all about him and his silly hairstyle and strange habits and absolute fascination with everything that was Zim's world.

Surely he could forget that. All of that. Right down to the smallest detail like how Dib's eyes shimmered whenever he saw Zim's pregnant belly or the way he laughed at inferior intelligence. Yes, he could forget Dib and their world and their love and their everything. He just had to stop thinking about it. He had to stop thinking about that questioning nature that made his head hurt. He had to stop thinking about all the times Dib had walked him home. He had to stop thinking about Dib period. Zim knew he could, if only he could stop thinking about what he was supposed to not be thinking about. Yet, he found his mind continually wandering from his exhausted state to that boy with his glasses and black trench coat. He could almost hear Dib telling him to stop thinking and to just go to sleep. He was always telling him that. Always trying to tell him what to do.

The smallest of smiles formed slowly on Zim's lips then as he felt the smeet kick. Absentmindedly, he rubbed his stomach. Yes, he could forget about that stupid human boy. Just as soon as he stopped having things to remember. Eventually, though, he assumed he would stop thinking about Dib and their love altogether. He just had to forget about Dib first. He just had to. In time, he knew he would. He just had to give it time.

* * *

The walk to school grew longer every single time Dib had to walk it nowadays. He walked alone, for Gaz left him to go over to Tak's base so they could walk together. He trudged along, staring at the broken sidewalk without care to whether he made it to the school or not. He found that he didn't care for much except his memories anymore. He spent his time thinking about all those years he'd had at Zim's side. He thought about the childhood wars to the middle school flirtation to the high school engagement. He thought about the day he met that alien. He thought about the day Zim showed him all those stars when he first fell in love with him. He thought about the interview that had changed everything. He thought about the night they first made love. He thought about the day Zim handed him that pregnancy test. He thought about everything right up until his lover had thrown the ring back into his face and left him to rot alone on a planet slated for destruction.

For all the pain it brought him, Dib found that he couldn't stop thinking about Zim. He missed that manic laughter and those gleaming evil eyes. He missed the confused look of an alien attempting to pass for human. He missed that bitch slap attitude towards back talk. He longed for that gently rough touch of Ikren fabric, the tapping of those boots on metal, and the scent of soap from a religious neat freak. Everything from the way Zim rolled his eyes to the way he blew things up without a second thought brought a sigh of wishful thinking to Dib's mouth. He knew he shouldn't be punishing himself like this, but he couldn't help it. Every thought since that night had been consumed by that green skinned, loud mouthed Irken Invader Exile named Zim.

Of course, a month was a long time to drown himself in the painful memories. Dib was well aware of that. Gaz continually told him he needed to move on. She understood that when Zim decided he was done with something, he was done. Dib, however, couldn't bring himself to accept that the love of his life had just disappeared into the stars and wouldn't come back. That might of been because he knew that Zim would most definitely come back to blow Earth up. Either way, he couldn't let himself give up on that relationship. There wasn't anything he could do to patch things up, but he couldn't give up. He couldn't talk to Zim to apologize or beg him to come back. He couldn't even get back into the base. He had just been living at home under the delirious belief that his alien would come looking for him in time, once he had cooled his heels.

Letting out a loud sigh, Dib stepped onto the school's court yard. There was a giant sign that said something about an all day pep rally being held out at the football field. He took one look at it before going inside the empty building anyways. He didn't honestly care about a pep rally. They were a waste of time. He would rather just spend his school day sitting in a classroom trying to get an Irken signal off his telecommunications watch. If he could get in contact with Zim's mothership, he might be able to convince someone to let him talk to his estranged lover. He didn't know what Irken's were like when it came to social taboos like a thoughtless boyfriend contacting his pregnant lover. He hoped they were a bit more friendly then the human traditions of cussing and hanging up. Thus, he continued on to Ms. Bitters' room for some peace and quiet. Upon entering, however, Dib realized that neither would be taking place any time soon.

Seated at Ms. Bitters' desk, one foot on the desk itself and the other tucked under it, was none other then Invader Zim himself. He was dressed in his traditional uniform, his wig and contacts in place. He had his arms draped over the sides of the plush air chair, his gloved hands tapping lightly on the air as if to the beat of some song Dib couldn't hear. This alien looked over at the human with cold eyes that were borderline wicked. There was no kind greeting. There wasn't even a vicious one. Zim just motioned vaguely for the other to shut the door and take a seat. Dib did both, locking the door to make sure they had their peace and leaning back against one of the student desks in front of his lover. He didn't say anything, for the shock of seeing him had yet to fade.

" Surprised to see me, eh, pathetic little worm?" Zim cooed out in an unnaturally calm voice. There was no bite, no edge, just plain and simple calmness. That alone was unnerving. Dib realized in slow horror that he had never heard what Zim sounded like right before he murdered someone. He knew, of course, that his lover was capable of murder. He had been banished to Earth for blowing up part of, presumably, the strongest army in the universe. Faintly, Dib recalled Zim's threat to only return when he could destroy Earth once and for all.

" Um. . . actually. . . yeah, I am. . ." he answered anyways, wondering if he had enough time to charge up the paralysis gun he thought might possibly be in his school bag. Zim's lips curled into a malicious smile at his response. Dib, again, wondered about the threat, " Are you. . . here to kill me?"

" Enh? What? Kill you?" Zim's face contracted that oddly comforting look of confusion, one eye opening as the other remained narrowed. The look was enough to draw a smile to Dib's mouth. He couldn't help it. Four weeks had gone by since last he'd seen that expression. Then it was replaced by that cold face of stone as Zim waved his hand to the side, dismissing the very idea, " No, no. Zim has not come to do in your pitiful dirt clod just yet,"

" Then. . . why. . . are you here?" Dib meekly asked, just vaguely starting to hope. Zim's smile vanished in a flicker, his eyes narrowing darkly. Instantly, that hope was replaced with the fear that perhaps Zim was just going to badly maim him. After all, he had no idea how much he might have offended him during that last fight. As much as he knew about Zim, he knew little to nothing about his actual culture outside it's military. That fact, of course, wasn't helping him relax at all.

" Why, I came back to see you beg. I thought it would be funner in person," Zim said in a semi cheerful voice, smiling a bright yet icy grin. Dib shivered on reaction.

" Beg? Beg. . . for my life?"

" Oh, would you shut up about the whole 'destroy the Earth Invader thing', Dib-human!" Zim suddenly shouted, beginning to sound much like his old self. For a split second, the human wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not, considering everything, " Zim just told you he didn't come back to blow up your filthy planet! I have more important things to be doing then wasting time like this! Now, would you just beg or whatever it is you feel you must so I can get on with my life?! I _am_ an Invader, you know, and I _do_ have planets to conquer!"

" I thought you said to shut up about the whole Inva-"

" I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO BEG!!!" Zim screamed, his voice echoing in the quiet of the school. Automatically, Dib covered his face to block whatever blow his alien lover was going to throw his way. When it didn't come, he lowered his arms, looking for why he hadn't been struck to the floor.

" Shit," was all he got out before the blue lights of the spider legs glowed. Dib let out a scream before one of the lasers slammed into the ground besides him. He knew that it was a warning shot, not a miss. Searching frantically for the words to say, he dropped to his knees and covered his head from whatever was coming next. The room was still a soft blue glow when he felt the words just spilling from his mouth, " I'm sorry, Zim! I'm sorry, okay?! Please don't kill me! I'm sorry I called you a bad Invader and-and everything else! I didn't mean it! I was just mad that you weren't getting into the wedding planning! I know it's not your thing! I just. . . I just wanted you to like my world the way I like yours!"

" YOU'RE LYING!!!" Zim hollered, the desk skidding across the floor. Dib tore himself off the floor to run when his shirt collar was grabbed. He was dragged backwards to face his enraged lover, " LIAR!!! You've never asked anything about Irk! You didn't even know we were married! You don't even know what my rank is, pitiful human! You've never bothered to ask! You don't know ANYTHING about me!!!"

" That's not true! I know lots about you! _You_ don't know anything about _me_!!! You didn't even know we weren't married! You're too selfish to know anything about me!" Dib shouted back, pulling out of Zim's grip. The two glared at one another in a hauntingly familiar way, Dib's hands in the air and Zim's on his curved hips, " Name ONE thing that you know about me, space boy!"

" Your name is Dib Membrane, you have a little sister named Gaz, your father is the head of the science world, you never see him, you hate school, you're at the top of our class, you excel at computer skills, hacking, and programming. You've been stalking me for six years, you have no other friends, you like space, you've never been out of this city, you call yourself a paranormal investigator, you really want children, you want them to go to some school called Harvard here, and you can barely drive a damn car but you can pilot at a decent level. Your favorite color is the color of my eyes, you hate the way I talk in third person, you think my gloves and boots are excessive, you don't know how to shut up or do a hard days work. You've never had a job and you've never even tried to get one. You are planning our wedding, have never gotten over your encounter with ghosts, like to plant spy bugs in the homes of your enemies, and religiously talk to yourself when you think no one is listening. You like to dominate in the bedroom, you think I'm the female in this relationship, and you think I work way too much. And right now you want to kick yourself for asking what the Almighty Zim knows about you BECAUSE you really thought I wasn't listening all these years to everything you've ever said!" Zim smugly stated with an arrogant smile that really did make Dib want to kick himself for actually asking.

" Oh, okay, fine! But you're not the only one!" Dib retorted, glaring at his lover with venom. Zim haughtily laughed, rubbing his fingers over his chest before gazing at his nails. The habit was as smug as that look on his face, " I know plenty about you too, Zim!"

" Do enlighten me, _Dib_,"

" Your name is Elite Invader Zim, you were banished to Foodcourtia for blowing up half your planet, and then got sent to Earth to invade it. You're Irken, the smallest Invader, have a personal vendetta against Tak, and idolize your Tallest Red and Purple. You're incredibly talented at making death machines, don't have the patience to actually go through with anything, and defeated the Planet Jackers with little to no effort. You hate germs, you clean everything religiously, and you talk in third person because you think your name is cool. You don't really want smeets, you hate the idea of giving up your mission, you're a workaholic, you hate dancing, you hate singing, and you can't pilot worth shit but you're pretty handy when it comes to hijacking things. Your favorite colors are pink and purple, you're allergic to water, you have an extremely obsessive compulsive need to prove your self worth, and you hate just about everyone you've ever come in contact with. You're incredibly dominate in our relationship, you think I'm the female, and you really enjoy slapping me around. You hate to admit weakness and you really think I'm a pathetic, useless worm. And now you're fucking speechless because you really thought that I zoned out during all your rants, which, by the way, you love to launch into without any provocation." Dib arrogantly replied, crossing his arms over his chest.

A second passed in which Zim merely glared ice at Dib's slowly dimming smile. There was a fire building up around his Irken lover when the human recalled just how much Zim liked to slap him around. Just as he took a step backwards into the desk behind him, though, Zim let out a wordless scream that might have been his native tongue. He slammed his fist down onto Ms. Bitters desk so hard that the entire thing jumped at the pressure. Dib said a silent prayer that he hadn't been the object struck.

" This proves nothing! This is a waste of time!" Zim yelled in a thoroughly annoyed voice. He jerked away from Dib to march back around the desk. There, he angrily sat in the chair and resumed his previous position. The way he slammed his foot down on the top of that wooden slab made his lover flinch.

" Don't you see, Zim! It does prove something! It proves that we really do love each other. We know more about each other then any other person alive, in either of our homes! We belong together!" Dib pleaded, desperate to get his previous point across. As much as he liked one upping his boyfriend, he knew that if he continued this argument, then he would be saying good bye all over again. Thus, he went with what he had.

" Please. My Tallest know as much,"

" Your Tallest know that you're addicted to those stupid dipping stick candies and suffer from immense paranoia over your things being stolen, especially by Tak?" Dib answered, arching an eyebrow in disbelief. Zim's false eyes glanced from side to side before he merely glared at him.

" Everyone in Irk already knows I'm. . . paranoid. . . It is common knowledge. And all Irken are addicted to some form of snack. It is our very nature. That is nothing," Zim scoffed at the idea, clearly itching to go another round. Dib licked his lips, making his way over to the desk. He planted his hands on it on either side of his alien's ankle and leaned in close. Those distant eyes looked up at him as if waiting to be impressed.

" Does everyone in Irk know that you touch your antennae when you're stressed out about something?" Dib whispered, running two fingers over the soft wig his lover was wearing. He faintly saw one of Zim's hands reach up a couple of inches towards his antennae in an unconscious manner. Then those eyes just stared straight ahead as Dib withdrew his touch, " I didn't think so,"

Hesitantly, Dib left the edge of the desk. He took his place back at the school desks several feet in front of their teacher's private seating area. Zim continued to look at him with a semi shocked expression that didn't quite go with his militant attitude. Of course, Dib knew that he was surprised. It wasn't every day someone managed to say they knew something about Invader Zim that wasn't common knowledge. He wasn't sure how many people cared to know, but he was one of them. He'd spent the better part of his life learning everything he could about this alien. He had stalked him in the beginning to have him dissected, yes. In time, though, he had found himself walking home with the Irken simply for the conversation. Dib would be the first to admit that Zim was insane. Yet, that insanity had long been a comforting aspect in his life. An outsider, Dib had never met someone who so thoroughly understood him. How that person was Zim, he wasn't sure. They had grown up in different worlds, on different planets, and still were perfect for one another. There was an unspoken understanding between them that went a lot further then talks about the stars, technology, the stupidity of others, and their unwillingness to blend in. This went down to their souls as outlandish individuals. When Zim had announced his desire to fill the position of his boyfriend, Dib had been the first to sign up. He had spent an alarming amount of energy and time to make sure he got the job. He wasn't about to give it all up now over a ceremony like a wedding.

" Look, I don't know why you came back, Zim. I'm never going to pretend to understand how your mind works," he muttered, ignoring the smile that made it's way over that pale green face, " To be honest, I never want to. I love the mysteriously crazy way you run your life. I have always admired your sheer will to continue on no matter what. So. . . I'm going to do the same. I'm not going to let my pride or yours stand in the way of what I want. What I want is to be with you. I know. . . that a family isn't what you wanted. I know you're an Invader. . . but I hope there's still a chance. . . that you'll change your mind. Because I love you. You make my life more then interesting. You make it worthwhile,"

There was a small pause in which Dib looked from the floor to Zim in order to assess how the alien was reacting. Rather then looking bored or frustrated, Zim was watching Dib curiously. A hint of embarrassment was forming in a slight blush on those cheeks, but mostly, he appeared to just be waiting to see where this confession would lead. Desperate not to disappoint, Dib hurried to continue.

" I miss you, Zim. . . I miss your voice and I miss your smile and I miss doing things with you. Hell, I even miss the way you'd punch me in the arm when I said something you didn't approve of. Heh. I even miss the way you made fun of me because I'm from Earth. . . what I miss the most, though," Dib stopped when his voice caught in his throat. Zim's eyes widened a little in anticipation, his body stiff, " I miss being able to tell you how much I love you when I know you really need to hear it. Because I _do_ love you, Zim. I love you. I love you and. . . I hope you still love me,"

Dib observed as Zim's blush grew deeper, his eyes lost in what might have been longing desire and perhaps even true happiness. Zim didn't answer right away, though. He sat there in his previously commanding position and forgot that he was supposed to be a powerfully dominate force of rage and confusion. His hands idly rested on the arm rests before he finally moved them. He rubbed the base of his neck as though he wanted to reach up further; to his antennae perhaps. Then he eased his swollen body from the chair. The soft thumps of his boots echoed in the suddenly still classroom. Dib watched Zim walk over with a growing suspicion that he might have crossed some sort of line. Instead of ducking, though, he stood his ground, for he knew that reaction had been of the positive kind.

Touching Dib's face with one of his gloved hands, Zim drew him down into a tender but passionate kiss. Their lips pressed together in a hungry sort of way. They hadn't kissed in over a month. The absence of their significant other seemed to only further the desire that controlled this embrace. Both eased open their mouths to drink the other down, their bodies moving to mesh with one another. Dib felt his hands resting on either side of that curved belly as Zim's sharp nails dragged down his shoulders and arms. The pain was nothing to the pleasure of feeling that snakelike tongue exploring his mouth after such a long time. He ran his own tongue over that familiar territory as an expectant heat fell over his body. The alien pressed harder against him, gripping his arm tightly and violently. His false purple eyes were closed, fully engulfing him to the feel of those lips against his own and the taste of his human lover. Dib felt his own eyes fluttering closed so that he could drown in the kiss that made his knees almost buckle. Neither moved out of the embrace for longer then they would ever know.

Slowly, though, they moved a fraction of an inch away, if only to catch their breath. Zim's face was red from a heated blush, although his touch still radiated jolts of pain throughout Dib's upper body. On his part, the human knew his cheeks must of been just as red for the heat licking off them. Smiling sheepishly, he chastely kissed his alien with a small peck of affection. Zim allowed it before a smile crossed his own face. Rubbing the sides of that belly, then, Dib leaned down and pushed his lips back against Zim's.

He knew that whatever issues were between them, they were not enough to drive them apart. He had his answer. Zim still loved him, even if he wouldn't say it. Somehow, that was just enough to get them through this and whatever was coming next. Dib knew it had to be.


End file.
